Custom Detailing Movie Reviews


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Family movie reviews for "Custom Detailing" sorted by average review score:

The Last Tycoon
Released in DVD by Paramount Home Video (18 November, 2003)
MPAA Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Director: Elia Kazan
Starring: Robert De Niro and Tony Curtis
Very little of the energy and intensity of Elia Kazan's great early work remains in his last movie, a flat adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's unfinished final novel about a Hollywood movie mogul of the 1930s. The story still feels like a half-written first draft, a grab bag of roughed-out scenes, even though Harold Pinter supposedly polished up the screenplay. Robert De Niro manages a silky, nuanced performance as the mogul, Monroe Stahr (modeled upon MGM's Irving Thalberg, the suave vulgarian who eviscerated Eric Von Stroheim's Greed), and works hard to transform this essayistic conceit of a character, a sexually repressed guru of mass audience manipulation, into a plausible wounded human being. The movie gets a welcome jolt of energy whenever vivid supporting players like Jack Nicholson, Tony Curtis, Robert Mitchum, or Theresa Russell turn up. --David Chute
Average review score:

BORING AND PRETENTIOUS FILM.
When you notice that this movie was directed by Elia Kazan, has the great Robert De Niro in the central role, has a supporting cast with very familiar names (Jack Nicholson, Tony Curtis, Robert Mitchum, Jeanne Moreau and Theresa Russell), you would think that this should be a great movie...well, it isn't, in fact is a very boring movie.

"The Last Tycoon" is full of uninteresting situations, one dimensional characters, a very slow and boring rhythm, in few words this movie is a big disappointment. The only reason to see this sleeping potion, is to see the scene that shows at the same time the screen legends Robert De Niro and Jack Nicholson. Beside that, there isn't another highlight.

Recommendable only for Robert De Niro fans or Jack Nicholson fans, but most likely they will see this movie only once.

De Niro was great
I found this movie intresting. Even though the story is very slow moving, it told the story with the emetions De Niro. The women in didn't have much of a chatcher that she let you see, I didn't like the way she was so in love with him one minute, and cold the next. I like this movie,and how De Niro was chatcher. He looks good, acts good, and is great for this part. See just because it's a different De Niro.

What counts are the final seconds.
DeNiro stands in front of a bright curtain, an almost ghostly image, and says "I don't want to lose you." His character is talking to the audience of how he tortured himself and his friends just to please the viewer. We can't understand his pain, we can only sympathasize with him. These final seconds are what makes this movie great. You have to watch it to truly undersant it .


Pearl Harbor - December 7, 1941 (Commemorative Edition)
Released in DVD by Madacy Entertainment (06 February, 2001)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Frank Capra
Average review score:

Two Discs-- Two Different I deas...
When I purchased this DVD I was particularly interested in bonus material that is on Disc 2. With that said, lets start from the beginning. Strangely enough, the discs seem to be in reverse order, The title of the Package says PEARL HARBOR!

Disc one contains 2 Featurettes: A. KAMIKAZE Which was a documentary filmed from 1951, about an hour long with a mixture of footage from various sources which seems to dance around the subject of "Devine Wind" with talking about EVERYTHING ELSE. Still with this in mind, this has some great footage of Japanese planes and pilots from the IJN and IJAAF film cans. The second half of Disc 1 is a feature B. "KNOW Your Enemy" Directed by Frank Capra which is a Glaring example U.S. Anti-Japanese propaganda from Early 1945 ( They reference Harry Truman as the President) This is something for a Mature well grounded adult audience with historical knowledge as it is so slanted and racist, and there are several pieces of film that are meant to shock the viewer, particularly about death and dead bodies of Chinese children and others dead with their hands tied behind their backs -so be prepared. A good insight into the political machinery of the time. Great Cartoon like illustrations of the "Japanese Octopus" taking islands...

Disc 2. is the treat, With 3 Featurettes A. Pearl Harbor Newsreel ( Great Footage !) B. Formal Japanese Surrender ( So-so) And --The coolest thing, C." Recognize the Japanese Zero" with Ronald Reagan! Playing a pilot that learns how to identify a Zero vs. the P-40 Warhawk definitely and early war classic and worth the price of admission. The discs also have some neat scans of a couple of Newspapers from December 41' with interesting news stories.

It's kind of neat
When I got this DVD I was completely unaware that both documentaries were produced in the 50s. The audio/visual aspect was terrible due to it's age. The material ,though was facinating. There was some incredible footage thad I'd never seen before. The majority of the material seemed more like a recruiting film rather than a documentary but again, that's partialy due to it's age.

Bottom Line: It's old but it's interesting.

It's a great movie
It's really thrilling and exciting. It makes you feel like your almost in the movie. It makes us remember who fought for us in Pearl Harbor and all those people who lost their lives in Pearl Harbor


We Remember Marilyn
Released in DVD by Passport Video (26 December, 2000)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Ted Newsom
"A sex symbol becomes a thing," says Marilyn Monroe, her voice being approximated by Trudi Jo Marie Keck, who also doubles as the editor of We Remember Marilyn, a historical appreciation of the life of the much-vaunted sex goddess. "I always thought symbols were things you clashed together," she continues to muse. "But if I'm going to be a symbol of anything, I'd rather it be sex than some other things there are symbols for. I know how they'll remember me: 'Here lies Marilyn Monroe, 34-24-36.' But, anyway, they'll remember me." And remember her they do, in this concoction written and directed by Ted Newsom (Ed Wood--Look Back in Angora). Newsom doesn't bother to cite the source for the above words ascribed to Ms. Monroe so it's hard to say where they came from, but they pointedly set the tone for any discussion of sex-symbol iconography. The quote is by turns sad and funny--funny because of the lack of self-awareness evinced in the words. And how better to sum up a career that moved between celebrity and the highest seats of power on a vehicle of sex, and ended early and abruptly. Film clips, photos (where Marilyn the icon truly shone), and a rich array of stock footage form the backdrop for the proceedings. At one point, the voice of director John Huston enriches the soundtrack. --Jim Gay
Average review score:

under average film on a bad quality dvd
To be clear, I'm talking about the EU version of the dvd but I hear it's just the same as the US, being region free. The film is nice to watch once, a vhs tape will perfectly do. It doesn't add anything new to Marilyn's story, it doesn't present events in a revealing perspective. The footage is ordinary and often very short. It's nice to have/see it as a recap of this woman's life. The Kennedy story is mentioned in about 10 seconds plus the Happy B'day Mr President footage (which is about 20 secs.). The dvd transfer is poor, the colour episodes are phoney but the b/w will do. There's absolutely no extra and if someone still thinks "scene access" is extra, the music cd business should also call the cd-s "enhanced" because they have a 4 page booklet or you can choose the songs you want to listen to. Pleeease!

Better than I thought
I have the DVD and have never seen the video, so I can't compare the two. However, I was impressed with this Marilyn documentary because it provided many details of MM's life and career, including her brief career at Columbia. Marilyn's words (spoken by someone else) were used appropriately throughout so that you got a sense of Marilyn's pain and struggles. The clips of Marilyn's movies were usually the trailers, but that was fine. Film clips were also presented of her news conferences, tv appearance on Ed Murrow's Person to Person show, and Korea appearance--some clips that I had never seen before. Most importantly, Marilyn is presented with sympathy and compassion; still, she was portrayed realistically, not as a Goddess. My only complaint: I wasn't satisfied with the abrupt ending of the documentary; it appeared as if the creators did not want to speculate on MM's mysterious death. Maybe they were right. Speculation on MM's death could provide another documentary! I recommend purchasing this documentary if you are a MM fan. I have seen it many, many times and am still enthralled.

Tom Kelley Sr. cover Art
Tom Kelley Sr. Did the cover for this video, at his Los Angeles studios. Now Tom Kelley Jr. is trying to snag the real Marilyn, me! But since the real Monroe can't even get an agent, I would rather write hilarious reviews for people to smile and laugh at! I havent seen this video on Marilyns life, but I'm sure her fans will enjoy it since she has started a hysteria that is like a huge most surfable wave, grab anything about Marilyn you can get your hands on! I hope you like this sort of review but I've written so many today I'm getting punchy!-Love to all my fans out there! Whee its me!M.M.-Marilyn Monroe-if I could, I'd sign it here beautifully!


The Man from Elysian Fields
Released in DVD by Columbia Tristar Hom (18 March, 2003)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: George Hickenlooper
Add The Man from Elysian Fields to the list of essential movies about the pains of writing. This wry comedy-drama charts the frustrations of a financially strapped novelist (Andy Garcia) as he desperately and secretly agrees to be an "escort" for ladies who need, ah, escorting. This leads him into a Faustian bargain to help a beautiful client (Olivia Williams) whose husband, a once-great, now-dying writer (a mighty James Coburn), is struggling with a final work. Of course the fact that the men are sharing a project and a woman complicates matters--and Garcia's loyal wife (Julianna Margulies) is curious about all these nights spent away. The movie explores different levels of compromise and betrayal, yet it remains tartly amusing throughout. And it has a glorious casting inspiration: the director of the mysterious escort service is played by Mick Jagger, looking decadently elegant and purring like a vaguely satanic Siamese cat. --Robert Horton
Average review score:

Enjoyable
It may not be gist for profound reflection but there is a lot of enjoyment to be had in this film.

The pleasure of the characters of Mr and Misses Alcot and Mr. Fox and the general mood setting are what make this film. Not only Byron, but this viewer as well, were seduced by the company of Mr. and Misses Alcott. These would be really interesting people to hang around and get to know in real life and of course our third wheel Byron gradually does. And they are interesting to watch, which makes it a great vicarious pleasure. It makes escorting briefly seem like a great job, which is purely fictional of course, but oh what a fantasy! Mick Jagger as Fox is great as well. Mr. Alcott is clearly partly modeled on Hemmingway.

As for the charges of this film being unrealistic, well no it's not totally realistic. How many people in a tough spot financially turn to escorting after all? And certainly not as quickly as Byron does. I don't know that it needs to be entirely realistic though. It's almost a mood piece. The fact that Byron could be in a tough spot financially is thoroughly believable.

The effect this film is going for is one of being both dark and beautiful (except where it gets mushy at the end). It's about people like Byron making decisions out of, no despair isn't even the word, out of a blinding depression really. And people like Mr and Misses Alcot (yes she is evil but so what?) getting by in whatever way they can even if their every hour is darkened by the constant presence and awareness of death. It may have a mushy happy ending (I almost cried) but it's really a great deal darker than your average film with a mushy happy ending.

One of my favorite movies now
This is a finely cast film with some terrific performances by the late James Coburn, Angelica Huston, and Mick Jagger. This is a stellar film. The plot is interesting and challenging, and the main character, played by Andy Garcia, is believable and really gives you a good look at the what if's given this kind of situation and really makes you ask what would you do.

The plot is simple. Good-looking, former ad agency hotshot turned writer, appropriately named Byron (Andy Garcia), has written and published his first book that, despite warm reviews, has ended up as a remainder. His second book has been rejected by his publisher. His supportive, stay at home wife, Dena (Juliana Margulies), and young child need him to bring home the bacon, so what is an aspiring young writer to do? He turns to a male escort service that has an office in the same building in which Byron has an office that he uses for his writing. Right away the film is engaging.

This escort service is deliciously run by Luthor Fox, which Faustian role is played with silken, Machiavellian overtones by Mick Jagger due to a bit of inspired casting. Luthor himself still dabbles in the field by servicing Jennifer, one of his original clients, played with sophisticated finesse by Angelica Huston. Byron is initially reluctant to do this sort of work, because he does love his wife, and because he seems to have some moral scruples.

Fortuitously for him, Byron's first assignment is to escort a coldly beautiful, young woman named Andrea, played with icy hauteur by the lovely Olivia Williams. Andrea just happens to be married to aging Pulitzer Prize winning novelist, Tobias Alcott (James Coburn). Before Byron knows it, his moral scruples are blowing in the wind. It turns out that this assignment has him servicing both the Alcotts in ways he could never have imagined. Of course, his pact with the Alcotts has its short lived financial rewards, but its long term impact on his marriage, his writing career, and his psyche is another matter.

There are some juicy and memorable moments in the film. Tobias Alcott has a knack for entering his wife's room to chat, at just precisely the wrong moment. When Luthor decides to take his business arrangement with Jennifer to a new level, he gets an ego shattering surprise that has some cinematic interest. The scene at the end, when Byron realizes just where his pact with the Alcotts has led him, causing him to indulge in an act of vandalism is just what you think you would do if you were in his shoes.

Byron gets an advance on the book he is writing with famous author and gets a new house. Byron's disinclination to get a "respectable" job feeds the motivation to getting a job with the escort service as a last resort. His verbal pact with the crusty Tobias, regarding a collaborative writing effort leads you to believe he's gotten an advance from him and a sound basis for Byron getting a new house in a more upscale neighborhood and doing scads of shopping with Dena. Byron comes across as a guy down on his luck but very compassionate and therefore sympathetic. The character of Dena is very realistic, as Ms. Margulies is the sweetly trusting and supporting wife as some women can be because they want to believe the best about their husbands.

This film was very enjoyable, and personal to me. There was stellar performances from Mick Jagger, James Coburn, and Angelica Huston. Andy Garcia and Juliana Margulies are amazing in their roles, while Olivia Williams manages to hold her own in a challenged role. The movie builds the characters strongly and you are right there with them when they have to make their choices sitting on the edge of your seat, talking to the TV and crying along with the consequences and having so much hope for the characters. Not too often does a movie come along where I am actually caring for the roles. I highly recommend this film.

All it aspires to be
This film was on thin ice as soon as I came onto the plot, which seemed a bit overdone(Good Person falls into prostitution variations). As the film progressed though, I came to appreciate the both the variations on the theme and the sardonic humor the cast was so adept at evoking. The look on Mick Jagger's face was worth the price of admission - priceless!
There is no glorification here, no 'beautiful people' cast to pander to some sexy image. Though it's not quite a brutal reality. The setting is a high class escort service, naturally cleaning up the presentation, but there is still a bit of grunge in the emotions and the film doesn't try to pretty up the situation too much.
Granted, the ending was bit gentle, but films this good are too hard to come by to quibble over that.


Winter Kills
Released in DVD by Anchor Bay Entertain (18 March, 2003)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: William Richert
Starring: Jeff Bridges and John Huston
This exhilarating kaleidoscope of a movie, from a surreally layered novel by Richard Condon (The Manchurian Candidate), combines post-Watergate paranoia, gallows humor, political sci-fi, dazzling suspense set pieces, something we might call postmodern historical burlesque, and gonzo performances by a truly all-star cast. It's held together by Jeff Bridges as the surviving scion of a Kennedy-like dynasty who reluctantly sets out to solve his brother's assassination. John Huston's own dynastic credentials and rough-hewn aristocracy make him perfect casting as the family patriarch, a simultaneously genial and appalling American monster. Writer-director William Richert, a virtual unknown, somehow corraled an amazing ensemble, including an unbilled Liz Taylor, North by Northwest production designer Robert Boyle (who also contributes a delicious cameo), composer Maurice Jarre, and the great cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. The widescreen camerawork and zesty primary-color palette demand DVD, which may finally do right by this quintessential '70s film that the '70s just weren't ready for. --Richard T. Jameson
Average review score:

/ Dead On Arrival \
"Winter Kills" is supposed to be a satire on the political thriller film or, as the jacket says, a black comedy. It doesn't succeed. The film moves with a leaden pace between scenes that are, presumably, intended to be either funny or satirical, but that in fact are lethargic and boring. The fault must be laid squarely on the script and the direction. The actors are capable, but their talents are wasted. The producers of the DVD even had the temerity to make it a kind of special edition DVD with an extra bonus disc at a higher price. A waste of time. A waste of money. That about sums it up.

Paraniod visionary political thriller
One of those 70s films that haunts me (John Huston's Wiseblood is another, there are lots more). This was based on a story by Richard Condon who also wrote The Manchurian Candidiate. A great cast with a very young Jeff Bridges as the lead in this partially based on fact, darkest of comedies, paranoid controversy theoretical waking nightmare of a movie.
Richard Boone, Sterling Hayden, Toshiro Mifune, Liz Taylor, JOHN HUSTON, Anthony Perkins, Ralph Meeker, Eli Wallach, Tomas Milian, many only get a scene or two, some only a scene, but they are all used for all the iconic power they are capable of generating. Not to mention exquisite cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond and an astounding debut for director/actor/etc., William Richert. This film was way too early for it's time, and in the same way Welles' Citizen Kane stepped on the feet of a giant this film also played with the thinly veiled mythology of real people, in this case the Kennedys. The story of why this brilliant film was stillborn upon it's initial release is likely a story worthy of the intrigue and rampant angst that fuels this spectacular film itself; though it's only hinted at in the Who Killed Winter Kills documentary, (that helps to flesh out the second disc disc of this set). I must admit that this all could have fit well onto one disc; but whatever the form, this is a film that is well worth seeking out, and it holds up very well to repeated viewings. It's one of those movies you'll want to turn other people on to. Check it out.

A COMIC CELEBRATION OF PURE PARANOIA
The much anticipated DVD release of WINTER KILLS is a cause for celebration to cult film fanatics everywhere.

Richard Condon's dazzlingly paranoid comic novel about an American president's assassination investigation has been perfectly captured by writer-director William Richert. This little seen film, barely released in 1979 after a torturous, much delayed production, received strong reviews and then disappeared.

There was talk the Kennedy family didn't approve and put pressure on parent company Avco Embassy (which had military contract associations) to withdraw the film, Condon suggested in an article, "Who Killed Winter Kills" for Harper's magazine. Whatever the case -- and the story behind the filming is certainly as interesting as the film story -- this marvelous, all-star thriller about the brother of a murdered president looking into the killing plays with the darkest, almost subconscious fears this country has collectively harbored about the death of JFK.

The once in a lifetime cast includes: Jeff Bridges, John Huston, Sterling Hayden, Richard Boone, Elizabeth Taylor, Eli Wallach, Ralph Meeker, Toshiro Mifune and Belinda Bauer. Plus a great score by Maurice Jarre (Lawrence of Arabia). Extras on this two-disc set (seems like it could've all fit easily on one disc) include a lively, sometimes startling, commentary from Richert and OK interviews with Bridges, Bauer, cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond and production designer Robert Boyle. Highly recommended.


Flight to Mars
Released in DVD by Image Entertainment (07 May, 2002)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Lesley Selander
In the far-off year 2000, newspaperman Cameron Mitchell packs up with a group of scientists and heads to Mars in a rocket that resembles a hood ornament from a '56 Oldsmobile. After the rather wobbly miniature takes off, our heroes (clad in khaki uniforms and WWII leather bomber jackets) encounter a storm of asteroids, but soon enough land on Mars. No one seems too surprised to encounter a race of humans on the planet, so the astronauts make themselves at home. The Martians are technically far more advanced than puny Earthlings (you can tell by the abundance of Herman Miller furniture and sexy Mars-girl outfits), but their hospitality masks a hidden agenda: conquest of Earth in order to establish additional lebensraum for their own dying race. Interestingly, this was director Lesley Selander's sole foray into sci-fi, having spent most of his career working on low-budget Westerns. Though the plot is thin, the bankroll skimpy, and the characterizations narrow, Flight to Mars prefigures the '50s sci-fi boom and is interesting for its set design, costumes, and rather washed-out Technicolor. Its 71-minute running time keeps things rolling quickly enough to stave off boredom. For '50s space-opera aficionados, this is better than an hour and 11 minutes spent mowing the lawn. --Jerry Renshaw
Average review score:

Great movie -- bad transfer.
This is yet another great SciFi classic that I first saw as a kid way back in the mid 20th century. I've seen it since on TV and VHS and I was very excited when I heard it was to be realeased on DVD. That excitement was soon dampened when I viewed this DVD. The original image used for transfer is absolutely horrible. There is fading, graining, and many splices that make the film jump and in some spots causes choppy dialog - and those are the minor faults. Almost immediatly after the film begins there appears a very distracting brown smuge directly in the middle of the screen. A very anoying blemish that changes shape and contorts for nearly a third of the movie.
Unfortunately, this is the only DVD copy of this film available so I whole-heartedly recommend it as a buy for collectors. Most of the movie looks pretty good, but the defaults really make it a dissapointment. Too bad they couldn't find a better print to copy from. Guess I'll have to keep my VHS edition as a back-up.

Not a bad Fifties science fiction film, but rather boring
"Flight to Mars" is not really a bad 1950s science fiction film, it just happens to be a rather boring film with what is probably the most abrupt ending in the genre's history. It is not that the script is so awful (there are philosophical discussions on whether each corpuscle is an entire universe) or that the acting is bad (it is actual decent for this sort of movie). But the film just does not seem to click. Maybe it is because a half-century later we have seen every bit of this plot in a dozen other films. "Flight to Mars" clearly divides into two parts. The first focuses on the flight to Mars and is fairly scientific in its approach to the proceedings (somewhat reminiscent of Herge's classic two-part comic book of Tintin going to the Moon, but not even half as god).. The second, once the crew arrives on Mars, turns into a sort of Flash Gordon-type space opera (with specific effects on about the same level).

The first rocket of exploration launched by the United States decides to bypass the moon and head straight for Mars (the reasoning for this curious choice is clearly cinematic; we know there is nothing on the moon in 1951 but who knows what we might find on Mars). The crew for this monumental expedition consists of Dr. Jim Barker (Arthur Franz), who created the rocket, his assistant Carol Stafford (Virginia Huston), a pair of older scientists, Dr. Lane (John Litel) and Professor Jackson (Richard Gaines), and a war reporter, Steve Abbott (Cameron Mitchell). At first I was wondering why these were letting too older guys go on this dangerous mission and I thought it might be because they were old and wise, but it turns out to be because this way only Jim and Steve join Carol in the film's love triangle.

Once they arrive on Mars they discover a complex underground civilization. There are delights to be seen and offers of help from the ruling council, but it turns out to be a sham. The Martians want to use the rocket to get off their dying planet and colonize earth. But that is okay. The Martians might want to take over the earth but Jim gets them back: he teaches the natives how to play bridge ("They will never forgive you," warns one of the professors). Meanwhile, Steve is interested in Carol, but Carol has been pining for Jim for three years. Jim has been too busy being a scientist to notice Carol, but he falls for local gal Alita once they get on Mars. When Carol finally adds up the score she dissolves into tears while Steve spends an hour playing solitaire waiting for her to wise up. Amazingly enough when the rocket was sabotaged and they were all going to die in space or on Mars Carol never shed a tear.

"Flight to Mars" is directed by Lesley Selander, who primarily made Westerns and directed eight other films in 1951. The film is made in color, which matters little except for the red costumes of the Martian's ruling council, which are kind of neat looking. Made during the Cold War there is an inclination to see an appropriate sub-text to "Flight to Mars," especially with those red outfits, but that seems to be a bit of a reach in this case. Again, this film ultimately reminds me more of a Flash Gordon serial than anything else. Besides, it proves once again that not even an advanced civilization on a distant planet can stand up to a small group of Americans with a plan and a strong right hook.

Good movie Bad transfer
This is a fun piece of cheese from the time when not a lot was known about space or space travel. Well acted, just plain enjoyable for those of us who love our 50's sci-fi. Now the down side. The source material for the transfer is pretty poor. Image usually does a great job on their DVD's and perhaps the print used was the best available, after all this movie is over 50 years old. No matter, a movie about a trip to Mars which is inhabited by beautiful women and coniving men cant be all bad. And watch out for those meteors.


Candy
Released in DVD by Anchor Bay Entertainment (25 February, 2003)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Christian Marquand
Starring: Ewa Aulin and Richard Burton
Candy, based on the naughty, notorious erotic satire by Terry Southern, whose wicked pen contributed to Dr. Strangelove and Easy Rider (among other '60s classics), and adapted for the screen by the sly Buck Henry (The Graduate and Catch 22), is a bizarre second-hand reconfiguration of Candide for the permissive '60s. Swedish teen beauty queen Ewa Aulin is Candy, all breathy, wide-eyed innocence as a curvy blond kewpie doll--think Lolita, Barbarella, and Baby Spice all rolled into one--whose naiveté lands her in the sack with one dirty old man after another on a sexual odyssey. Guest cads include Ringo Starr as an embarrassingly unconvincing Mexican gardener; James Coburn preening as a surgeon who puts the "theater" into his operating theater; Walter Matthau as a snarling, insane general; and French crooner Charles Aznavour as a humpbacked spider man. Richard Burton stands out as a soused, sex-mad poet with an ever-present wind machine dramatically blowing his hair, and Marlon Brando's phony guru with a seductive line of mystic patter is downright hysterical.

Despite luscious cinematography by longtime Fellini collaborator Guiseppe Rotunno and gorgeous opening and closing sequences of space flight by Douglas Trumbull, this clumsy misfire has all the cutting satire of a Monkees episode and only half the style. Director Christian Marquand lets the film ramble interminably while his cast mercilessly mugs their way through ill-conceived roles (except Aulin, who remains a passive, almost alien presence in the center of the chaos). The result is a sloppy all-star sex farce with blunt, misdirected attempts at social topicality buried in teasing peekaboo pinup photography and sexual romps, pleasing enough eye candy but hardly the erotic, satirical, transgressive portrait the picture promises. --Sean Axmaker

Average review score:

Unbelievably Bad!
This has got to be the worst movie of it's type (big budget, big stars) I have ever seen. A complete [distruction] of Terry Southern's hilarious 60's novel, it captures not one of the laughs, not one of his comical characters and none of his satirical wit. The movie was deservedly savaged by critics and avoided by moviegoers. The best excuse I can find for it is that it was made during a time of many studio restrictions. and could be a truly funny independent film today.

The Centipede Has a Thousand Legs, But Cannot Tap Dance
I have never in my life been more confused by a movie. The title I selected for this review was intoned somberly by mystical guru Marlon Brando. As I couldn't sum the movie up better myself, I therefore selected the quote as representative of the quality dialogue found in 'Candy.' If you watch this movie, you will know what I mean.

I am actually quite a fan of campy and strange films, and enjoy plotlines gone wildly astray (think 'Red Zone Cuba' here, for instance), but this takes it to a whole new level, that being the level of having no identifiable plot whatsoever to begin with. I watched this movie twice, and was still trying to figure it out when it was done the second time. It is, evidently, a coming of age fable/parable about Candy, a lovely young woman played by Ewa Aulin.

The general operating concept here seems to be pitting Candy against any number of totally unsuitable middle age suitors, and hilarity (in theory) ensues. First there is the John Astin father figure with an electrical outlet in his head (into which a radio playing Steppenwolf is often plugged) who desperately needs a complex surgery performed by James Coburn, who is quite mad. Other potential trysting partners include Walter Matthau as an insane paratrooper, Ringo Starr as a Mexican Gardner, and my personal favorite, Richard Burton, as a scenery chewing poet who has lines like this: "The wind whipped strawberry passion of my fractured spleens."

Two stars for the supporting cast alone. The execution here is quite dismal courtesy of director Christian Marquand. If you want to have a rather bad headache or are possibly under the influence of hallucinogenic substances, this movie is perfect for you.

Hilarious
Many have written poorly about Candy. Perhaps, they took the movie too seriously because there are many moments that are genuinely amusing: the soldiers doing a dance number and eliciting a tear from their commander, Candy's uncle unplugging his brother as he recuperates in the hospital, the concept of a "Post-Operative Bash", McPhisto's made up stories, and the entire Brando scene.
What I think is the main reason for people disliking this movie is that it wasn't what they expected it to be. It's trippy and a little weird at times. The music is also amazing. If you don't like Steppenwolf or the Byrds, perhaps you shouldn't bother.
The Bottom line: this movie is a riot if you have the right mindset watching it.


Candy (Limited Edition Tin)
Released in DVD by Anchor Bay Entertainment (25 February, 2003)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Christian Marquand
Starring: Ewa Aulin and Richard Burton
Candy, based on the naughty, notorious erotic satire by Terry Southern, whose wicked pen contributed to Dr. Strangelove and Easy Rider (among other '60s classics), and adapted for the screen by the sly Buck Henry (The Graduate and Catch 22), is a bizarre second-hand reconfiguration of Candide for the permissive '60s. Swedish teen beauty queen Ewa Aulin is Candy, all breathy, wide-eyed innocence as a curvy blond kewpie doll--think Lolita, Barbarella, and Baby Spice all rolled into one--whose naiveté lands her in the sack with one dirty old man after another on a sexual odyssey. Guest cads include Ringo Starr as an embarrassingly unconvincing Mexican gardener; James Coburn preening as a surgeon who puts the "theater" into his operating theater; Walter Matthau as a snarling, insane general; and French crooner Charles Aznavour as a humpbacked spider man. Richard Burton stands out as a soused, sex-mad poet with an ever-present wind machine dramatically blowing his hair, and Marlon Brando's phony guru with a seductive line of mystic patter is downright hysterical.

Despite luscious cinematography by longtime Fellini collaborator Guiseppe Rotunno and gorgeous opening and closing sequences of space flight by Douglas Trumbull, this clumsy misfire has all the cutting satire of a Monkees episode and only half the style. Director Christian Marquand lets the film ramble interminably while his cast mercilessly mugs their way through ill-conceived roles (except Aulin, who remains a passive, almost alien presence in the center of the chaos). The result is a sloppy all-star sex farce with blunt, misdirected attempts at social topicality buried in teasing peekaboo pinup photography and sexual romps, pleasing enough eye candy but hardly the erotic, satirical, transgressive portrait the picture promises. --Sean Axmaker

Average review score:

Unbelievably Bad!
This has got to be the worst movie of it's type (big budget, big stars) I have ever seen. A complete [distruction] of Terry Southern's hilarious 60's novel, it captures not one of the laughs, not one of his comical characters and none of his satirical wit. The movie was deservedly savaged by critics and avoided by moviegoers. The best excuse I can find for it is that it was made during a time of many studio restrictions. and could be a truly funny independent film today.

The Centipede Has a Thousand Legs, But Cannot Tap Dance
I have never in my life been more confused by a movie. The title I selected for this review was intoned somberly by mystical guru Marlon Brando. As I couldn't sum the movie up better myself, I therefore selected the quote as representative of the quality dialogue found in 'Candy.' If you watch this movie, you will know what I mean.

I am actually quite a fan of campy and strange films, and enjoy plotlines gone wildly astray (think 'Red Zone Cuba' here, for instance), but this takes it to a whole new level, that being the level of having no identifiable plot whatsoever to begin with. I watched this movie twice, and was still trying to figure it out when it was done the second time. It is, evidently, a coming of age fable/parable about Candy, a lovely young woman played by Ewa Aulin.

The general operating concept here seems to be pitting Candy against any number of totally unsuitable middle age suitors, and hilarity (in theory) ensues. First there is the John Astin father figure with an electrical outlet in his head (into which a radio playing Steppenwolf is often plugged) who desperately needs a complex surgery performed by James Coburn, who is quite mad. Other potential trysting partners include Walter Matthau as an insane paratrooper, Ringo Starr as a Mexican Gardner, and my personal favorite, Richard Burton, as a scenery chewing poet who has lines like this: "The wind whipped strawberry passion of my fractured spleens."

Two stars for the supporting cast alone. The execution here is quite dismal courtesy of director Christian Marquand. If you want to have a rather bad headache or are possibly under the influence of hallucinogenic substances, this movie is perfect for you.

Hilarious
Many have written poorly about Candy. Perhaps, they took the movie too seriously because there are many moments that are genuinely amusing: the soldiers doing a dance number and eliciting a tear from their commander, Candy's uncle unplugging his brother as he recuperates in the hospital, the concept of a "Post-Operative Bash", McPhisto's made up stories, and the entire Brando scene.
What I think is the main reason for people disliking this movie is that it wasn't what they expected it to be. It's trippy and a little weird at times. The music is also amazing. If you don't like Steppenwolf or the Byrds, perhaps you shouldn't bother.
The Bottom line: this movie is a riot if you have the right mindset watching it.


The Crossing Guard
Released in DVD by Miramax Home Entertainment (02 September, 2003)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Sean Penn
Starring: Jack Nicholson and David Morse
Sean Penn wrote and directed this character-driven drama about a divorced couple (Jack Nicholson and Anjelica Huston) whose relationship never recovered following the death of their daughter at the hands of a drunk driver (David Morse). When the latter's character, a deeply regretful and changed man, gets out of jail, Nicholson, as the vengeful dad, decides to go after him. As a director, Penn is not so good with fluid storytelling and camera clichés, but he is amazing as an actor's director. The onscreen reteaming of former real-life lovers Nicholson and Huston is more than just a voyeuristic exercise: Penn ingeniously uses the duo's palpable friction to bring an often horrifying reality to the pain of a dead relationship. --Tom Keogh
Average review score:

WAKE ME UP WHEN THIS IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!
VERY BAD MOVIE.TERRIBLE.I WOULD RATHER WATCH PAINT DRY.

just awful
Wow. This film is pure drivel. What an utter mess. How humiliating for the actors. What was Sean Penn thinking? Why was this film ever made?

THIS STORY IS A MASTERPIECE WITH Jack NICHOLSON...
...And David MORSE ! ... This tall man has killed his child, his son, and ever since this time he has ONE idea ! ONE project in his mind: " KILL HIM WHEN HE WILL GO OUT THE PRISON " He has lost anything, his wife, his comfort, his welfare when this man who was drunken at the time of facts and his revenge is puting near day after day this is an obsession for him, he go to advertise his almost former wife who he is outdoors but after a follow-up he doubt of himself, because his enemy goes around the tomb of his child while him himself has never made that this is a sort of redemption for these two men and mostly a forgiveness for the killer ! Jack NICHOLSON and David MORSE are perfects in this DVD MOVIE FILM ! ********** A GOOD TEAM


The Postman Always Rings Twice
Released in DVD by Warner Studios (15 September, 1998)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Bob Rafelson
Starring: Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange
In The Postman Always Rings Twice, Jack Nicholson teamed up again with his Five Easy Pieces and King of Marvin Gardens director Bob Rafelson for this 1981 version of James M. Cain's hardboiled novel of lust and murder. This version takes a much grittier (and sexually explicit) approach to the material than the slick 1946 MGM version starring John Garfield and Lana Turner. Nicholson plays Frank Chambers, a drifter who happens upon a roadside diner run by Cora Papadakis (Jessica Lange) and her swarthy Greek husband, Nick (John Colicos). Sparks fly, and before you can say l'amour fou, Frank and Cora are making the beast with two backs on the kitchen table. One thing leads to another and they conspire to murder Nick. The movie is still a little too cold and distant to fully convey a hot-blooded passion that leads to murder, but it is a strangely haunting and disturbing film nevertheless. The screenplay is by David Mamet, the photography is by the great Sven Nykvist (Ingmar Bergman's cinematographer), and watch for Anjelica Huston in a supporting role. --Jim Emerson
Average review score:

Underwhelming
THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE (1981) serves as a cautionary lesson to anyone who's considering renting or buying a film on the strength of its starring leads, and then proceeds to plunk down dollars after asking the rhetorical question, "With that cast, how bad can it be?"

Jack Nicholson is drifter Frank Chambers, who washes up in a rural roadhouse run by Nick Papadakis (John Colicos) and his too young (for him) wife, Cora (Jessica Lange). The time is the 1930s, and the place somewhere in the coastal mountains between Los Angeles and San Francisco. After Chambers is employed by Nick as a mechanic in the outpost's garage, Frank and Cora soon ignite a spark of mutual lust that eventually spreads into a conflagration of betrayal, attempted murder, murder, violent sex, insurance company venality, blackmail, and bad driving.

There's a good story here somewhere, so how did it go so badly wrong? Most damaging, there's no likable character for the audience to champion. Nicholson's character is as sleazy and vicious as any role he's ever done. Cora, married to an unsuitable older man for reasons we never learn, initially gains some audience compassion, perhaps. But then, after she demonstrates a cold-bloodedness worthy even of Frank, I ceased sympathizing with the character. Of the lot, only Nick is blameless, but he's such an old fool that it's hard to care.

The supporting cast is no better. The award for Worst Performance In A Negligible Role (Female) has to go to Anjelica Huston as Madge, a lion tamer and manager of a traveling wild cat show, who sports a goofy accent and hairdo worthy of Natasha (of "Boris and Natasha" on the old Bullwinkle TV series). The same award for a male actor is due William Traylor as Sackett, the Los Angeles DA out to nail our heroic couple.

There are only three reasons to view this film. First, if you're a diehard Nicholson fan. I'm not. Second, if you're a diehard Lange fan. I am. But, while she's undeniably gorgeous and indulges in tempestuous sex that would make my Mom blush and fuels my personal fantasies, prurient interest isn't enough to carry the day. Lastly, the scenery surrounding the roadhouse is beautifully pastoral.

I haven't seen the 1946 release of THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE, nor do I intend to because Jessica isn't in it. This 1981 version is over-acted, over-scripted, under-edited, and implausible. It's just silly in a lurid sort of way.

Much closer to the book
This movie was much closer to the book than the original movie, which for me was a treat. Filled with torrid sex and self centered reckless abandon, the two main characters convey those in the book as they were meant to be. This fleshes out the story quite nicely and keeps it moving through the twists and turns in the plot. Though there were a couple of minor changes in the story, what surprised me, and really let me down was the very ending. Though viewers should pick up on the irony of the situation, it is really driven home in the book!

Good Film Noir. Rough, torrid sex and murder mystery.
Darn good Film-Noir if you've never seen the 1946 original. This version stars Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange. Jack is a drifter who comes upon this backroad cafe. Here he meets Jessica Lange who is the wife of the owner of this cafe. She cooks, she serves and then has fast, rough, torrid and spontaneous sex with Jack. The sex scenes are way too hot for broadcast television and will be edited for content. So see this movie on DVD to see it all. This murder-mystery is fast-paced and has many twists and turns along the way. (Incidentally, Angelica Huston (the circus lady) and Jack Nicholson "knew" each other at the time)


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