Austin Movie Reviews

Don't think of these as adult movies, think of them as slow death. These movies were made back in the 50's or 60's when nudity was thought of as forbidden. What these movies are are comedies (though not very funny) but with some women losing their cloths. All you will see are breast (nice and natural) and butts (fat by today's standards). That's all you'll see. Pubic hair was too risky so you won't see any in this film.
I bought this DVD for only one reason, Fanny Hill, and this isn't the Fanny Hill I grew up watching. This one was ugly. If you're gonna bye this one, spend as little money on it as you can.

Something Weird comes up trumps again with this new double-feature with a 'fairy tale' theme. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a wild and wacky ride!

SINDERELLA AND THE GOLDEN BRA (directed by Loel Minardi): Beautiful Derella (Suzanne Sybele) is mistreated horribly by her evil Stepmother (Patricia Mayfield) and her two stepsisters Flossy (June Faith) and Fanny (Joan Lemo). When the handsome Prince David (Bill Gaskin) decides to throw a royal ball in search of a wife, Derella's 'Fairy Godfather' (Sydney Lassick - ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST) climbs through her window and gives her a beautiful new dress, a coach and a golden brassiere.

At the stroke of midnight, Derella flees, leaving the lovestruck Prince holding her gilded B-cups...so he decides to try the bra on all the eligible maidens in the land, to track down his beloved.

Totally campy, and oh-so-enjoyable. Believe it or not, the otherwise-crappy score includes a few delights, including Derella's "My Day is On It's Way" and the Stepsister's "Pity, It Couldn't Be You". The transfer of the film is the only blackspot, with a badly-damaged print on offer here (the only complete print in existence, apparently). Sound quality varies, with a distinct humming sound evident towards the end of the film.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BARES (directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis): Lovely Allison (played by B-movie starlet Vicki Miles) mysteriously leaves her boyfriend every weekend to attend a nudist camp. Not a lot of story on offer here but quite a bit of flesh, with Bill Kerwin, Rex Marlow, Mal Arnold, Delores Carlos and Craig Maudslay Jr. all getting into the act. The very first 'nudist-camp musical', it is quite enjoyable with a few good numbers like "Half a Dream" and "That Night When We Were Young". The print for the film is a thousand times better than the SINDERELLA print, coming directly from the original EastmanColor film-stocks. Colors are nicely-saturated and the 2-channel stereo mix serves its purpose. Turn on the audio commentary for yet another hilarious chat with David Friedman and Mike Vraney (joined by Frank Henenlotter).

But, for a real good time, skip GOLDILOCKS and head straight for the extra features. There are trailers for "Sinderella" and "Goldilocks", as well as trailers for "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre", "Boin-n-n-g!", "Bunny Yeager's Nude Camera", "Calendar Pin-Ups", "French Without Dressing", "Not Tonight Henry" and "She Should Have Stayed in Bed" (which features both Audrey Campbell and Gigi Darlene)

Even better are the fantastic short-subjects, which include:

CINDERELLA'S LOVE LESSON: 50's stripping-queen Lili St. Cyr plays a bored Cindy who is visited by a floating magic wand. Her stuffed cat is turned into a fur coat and she finds jewelry in her soup! At midnight all her clothes disappear in front of a very-shocked Prince. Utterly hilarious!

GOLDIELOCKS GOES GLAMOROUS: A young girl in a bikini wanders into a neighbor's backyard and takes a dip in their pool. She is then scared off by another bikini-clad lovely wearing a stuffed bear's head!

THIS DIARY BELONGS TO FANNY HILL: A lovely blonde Fanny recounts her day's adventures seducing men while posing in front of her mirror doing a striptease. (Directed by Barry Mahon).

NUDE IN THE WINDOW: Three bored New York girls devise ways how to catch the attention of a handsome male neighbor through their apartment window.

DOUBLE TROUBLE: Darlene Bennett (BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL) shares the screen with her sister Rita in this hilarious short where the 'grueseome twosome' switch places while seducing a prospective new boyfriend.

THE SUPER DREAMS: Extra-long featurette (27 minutes) about a bored janitor who envisions himself a producer auditioning several naked girls for a movie.

There's also a gallery of magazine covers set to the theme-music of BOOBY-TRAP.

For more Something Weird madness, I also recommend the double-features "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill/The Head Mistress", "Bad Girls Go to Hell/Another Day Another Man", "The Violent Years/Girl Gang"; and the triple-feature disc of "Olga's House of Shame/Olga's Dance Hall Girls/White Slaves of Chinatown".

This movie was showing on my cable company's video on demand and the plot summary enticed me and my friends into paying $3.95 to rent it. It was not worth it!

The acting is slightly above par for movies of this budget and production level, but the ridiculous script and complete lack of scary scenes left much to be desired.

Highlights: one of the characters gets his head cut in half by a falling piece of glass, and some of the scenes with the security guard are slightly spooky.

Lowlights: the ridiculous death of the bus driver, the pitiful "romantic interest", and the not-very-scary "red eyed ghost" character.

There is not even a salvageable "bad movie night" movie from this one, it's just lame.

Well, this one isn't as horrible as Horrorvision, but it sure is close! Nothing works in this film. The look is very low budget, which is the case, but there are many ways to make it look better; the acting isn't very good, the story is much too simple, and much too boring, some scenes defy reason, I could go on for days. I want to like Full Moon films, but I just can't. The film, it looks as tho they spent exactly one day on the script, one day on filming, and one day on editing..maybe even less. Black is a first time director, I think, and you can tell...he worries less about storytelling, and more about style, and using cool tricks that do nothing but take away from the plot. The scenes are too drawn out, and there is very little suspense. Some of the acting is just plain bad, some is decent at best.

Another problem with this movie is the back story with the slave trade. I don't know a lot about the slave trade, but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say, despite what the movie claims, they never delivered slaves from Africa to California. That fact took away from the seriousness, then you have this horrible guard character who goes on and on about the history of the place, despite the fact that there's an evil spirit loose in the building. I could go on for a while, but I won't. This movie is just bad...Full Moon productions is just bad, and it's a shame, because I think they could go a lot better.

This movie has a great concept, great acting, and overall great production value despite its low budget. Aspiring low budget moviemakers should pay attention to works like this from Full Moon and others.

You purchase this at your own risk, but you have been warned by me and several others. This is just stupid -- real stupid. Acting is awful, script is awful, direction is awful. It's just plain awful. You have been warned.

I saw this DVD cheap in a shop and was expecting to take home a modern day 'IT', made in the year 2000- relatively new. However, I should not have wasted my money. It is a low budget film, with a script written by a high-school student who obviously has NO talent. The costumes and storyline are awful and there isn't a scary bit in the entire film. Music is cheaply made by those that produced the film and even if it isn't supposed to be taken seriously- it's definately not funny! It is described as an 'ethnic' film in the making of it, meaning you feel as though its exclusive to black people with the jokes and dialect. I cannot believe they made a sequel!!!!!!

KillJoy is easily one of the greatest movie experiances I've ever had. Depending on how you look at it, this movie is either one of the worst ever made, or a comical masterpiece. If you enjoy other such movies as Maniac Cop, RoboCop, and Godzilla vs. Gigan, Megalon, King Ghidorah, MechaGodzilla, King Kong, Destroyah, Mothra, etc, you will love this movie to the point you have to make sure you visit a lavaratory before watching, just for the saftey of your pants.

It seems that the movie makers used lots of footage from the first movie, making the story choppy and incomplete. Apparently the studio that owns the film rights tried to cash in on first Fearless Hyena movie's success. The real story: The Lo Wei monstrosity. Jackie had just started filming this movie before moving to Golden Harvest. Lo Wei was quite bitter and even got the Triads involved. Jimmy Wang Wu got Jackie out of trouble so Jackie did two favors for Jimmy, making Fantasy Mission Force and Island of Fire. Lo Wei was very bitter over this entire situation so a couple of years later he put together Fearless Hyena 2 from the little filmed footage that he had, outtakes from Fearless Hyena, and new scenes that they shot using a Jackie Chan look-a-like. All of this nonsense is why I don't like this movie that well. It does have Jackie in it and didn't turn out that increadably bad so I'll give Lo Wei that credit. But none for trying to cash in on Jackie's name. A real disappointment in many fans opinions. Go see the first one... and you shouldn't waste your time with this one. With that said... you may feel stupid buying the Fearless Hyena double-video pack. Caveat Emptor (let the buyer beware).

The story's about these 2 brothers who get together top avenge the murder of their father. The usual.

This is only Part 1 Reedited and it really is funny at times.I like the editting though.The "two evil characters" are just great to gether.Part one is better though.

It seems that the movie makers used lots of footage from the first movie, making the story choppy and incomplete. Apparently the studio that owns the film rights tried to cash in on first Fearless Hyena movie's success. The real story: The Lo Wei monstrosity. Jackie had just started filming this movie before moving to Golden Harvest. Lo Wei was quite bitter and even got the Triads involved. Jimmy Wang Wu got Jackie out of trouble so Jackie did two favors for Jimmy, making Fantasy Mission Force and Island of Fire. Lo Wei was very bitter over this entire situation so a couple of years later he put together Fearless Hyena 2 from the little filmed footage that he had, outtakes from Fearless Hyena, and new scenes that they shot using a Jackie Chan look-a-like. All of this nonsense is why I don't like this movie that well. It does have Jackie in it and didn't turn out that increadably bad so I'll give Lo Wei that credit. But none for trying to cash in on Jackie's name. A real disappointment in many fans opinions. Go see the first one... and you shouldn't waste your time with this one. With that said... you may feel stupid buying the Fearless Hyena double-video pack. Caveat Emptor (let the buyer beware).

The story's about these 2 brothers who get together top avenge the murder of their father. The usual.

This is only Part 1 Reedited and it really is funny at times.I like the editting though.The "two evil characters" are just great to gether.Part one is better though.

I purchased this movie for a measly sum of money, and since I'm a fan of bad movies, I wasn't really disappointed. Made in 1967, this film offers nothing new or interesting to the idea of time travel or science fiction.
The plot? "I just inherited all this money from my daddy, and I want to know what you deranged scientists are doing with it." and they respond thusly; "We're travelling through time with it, here we'll show you right after we bore you with Einstein quotes. Whoops!" etc.
Disappointingly long and oft-times mistaken dialogue, this movie joureys to an extremely boring future that does include, as a highlight, an attractive alien spacecraft and its attractive female leader. This is subsequently destroyed by the low-brow humans of the future. The crew then attempts to go home, but overshoots into the far past with dinasaurs. The film-makers should have taken the cue from 'Journey To The Center Of The Earth' with Pat Boone, and not used a pet lizard to play a dinosaur. It always looks ludicrous, and it is no exception in this film. I won't give anymore spoilers, just don't pay good money to purchase it with out prior knowledge.

To say this was low budget would be too kind. The stereotype acting is not stereotype enough. The stereotype actors are not stereotype enough. Let's face it; this whole stereotype project is not stereotype enough. If the budget was just a tad lower maybe this would never have been made.

Basic premise is an attempt to look into the future and into the past actually forces the lab to go into the future into the past. The lab is stuffed with good guy, bad guy, and screaming girl. The good guy does good things. The bad guy does bad things. The girl screams a lot. While back at the ranch, they talk of a lot about how they've lost the lab.

This DVD is perfect for testing the fast forward option.

This DVD cover is missleading!!! This has nothing to do with the "WHITE WOLF WHITE FANG" The white fang in this movie is a German sheapard -- that people in the movie call a wolf! Get real there is a big difference in a Wolf and a dog!

The people that put out this DVD should not claim it is "Based on the novel by JACK LONDON WHITE FANG TO THE RESCUE"!

This is not a bad Spaghetti Western with snow, not bad for the price either, however this is a pan and scan print of obviously a 2:35 to 1 aspect ratio, but most of the action is central to the screen, so not as many "talking noses" per say....The print was grainy in some parts but oddly adds to the European feel of the film. Maurizio Merli does a credible job as the good guy and fahter figure to the boys and dog (German Shepard or Alaskan Huskie) and the heavy is played with his usual serving of ham by Henry Silva and a small supporting role by Irish star turned Italian film catylist Donald OBrian. Also for Spaghetti Western, the film is quite mild and very little violence or adult situation. The excellent score is by Carlo Rustichelli who scored several films for the late Gioseppi Collizi such as Boot Hill and Ace High. It has a few extras, for some odd reason an Little Rascal short and a dvd dictionary. I would like to see Lucio Fulci's White Fang and its sequel released as well on dvd...Overall this is not a bad family film

Fearless Hyena is a fun, standard-issue early Jackie film, well worth seeing for any Kung Fu lover. The fights are all humorous, including a lot of great propwork as well as a fight in drag. The film isn't all that special, but I thoroughly enjoyed seeing it, and it has some great moments. Fearless Hyena II is an absolute dog, however, and I wouldn't recommend it even for free. The storyline is so convoluted it is too confusing even to laugh AT, let alone laugh with. Buy the first film if you like early Chan films, but don't bother with the second.

Along with Chiu Man Cheuk's Body Weapon film, Fist Power could've been great. Chiu is a very talented fighter and practices the same Wu Shu as Jet Li, he's been known as the heir to Jet as well. He took over Jet's duties as Wong Fei Hung in OUATIC IV & V and did a pretty decent job, and he even fought against Jet in Fong Sai Yuk which was pretty awesome. However, he has a few so-so flicks of his own. Fist Power is about an ex military official (Anthony Wong) who holds an elementary school hostage because he wants to see his son(not biological, but raised him), who is being flown to America by the mother and her mobbish husband(biological father of boy). Cheuk is a professional security trainer who has a nephew that is at the same school. Wong and Cheuk know each other prior to this, and Cheuk decides to bring back Wong's son before he will supposedly blow up the school. The rest of the film is Cheuk fighting off bodyguards and other baddies sent by the mobbish husband to prevent the boy from seeing the father. This could've been a great film, there were plenty of fights, some decent humor, and a really pretty girl. The problem? The camera shooting and choreography. It's god awful, you can't even see whats going on. For example, Cheuk would start an awesome kick and just before it hits his opponent, the camera would black out (flash out) and then you'd would see the opponent fly back as if he was hit without showing the hit. There is a lot of no contact showing in this film and thats too bad because Cheuk shows off some of his best stuff I've ever seen or almost saw. Theres one fight in the dark where he just lights a lighter for a little view of the several guards in the area, and he takes them all out, but all you can see is a little kick or punch here and there. The camera work is just pitiful, all of Cheuk's best moves would just be cut off showing no contact as if the director wanted this to be a PG movie or something. I suggest a viewing before even thinking about buying this. Who knows, maybe you'll like the camera work. All I know is that it frustrated me and 2 stars is the best I would give it. For better Chiu Man Cheuk flicks, check out Fong Sai Yuk along side with Jet and OUATIC 4 & 5. Hope this was helpful, check out my other reviews too, mostly HK flicks.

Oh my God. I was SO dissappointed with this movie.

Where do I start.

First off, the acting was horrible. The only actor in this movie that was in part 1 was Peter (Jobes little friend). The first movie had a mysterious and low budget feel to it, which I love, and part 2 has a fluffy and hollywood feel to it, which I absolutely loath. Also, The connection between part 1 and part 2 was very weak. What's up with the telephone rings? That was a great idea, why didn't they keep that?!

...Trust me, if your thinking about buying this movie, dont!! But if for some reason you do, all the negative reviews here at Amazon will make perfect sense!!! This movie is BAD!!!

This movie was pure garbage. I enjoyed the first movie and thought part 2 would be a cool sequel. Boy was I wrong! Everything about this movie ...!

Oh my God. I was so dissappointed with this movie.

Where do I start.

First off, the acting was horrible. The only actor in this movie that was in part 1 was Peter (Jobes little friend). The first movie had a mysterious and low budget feel to it, which I love, and part 2 has a fluffy and hollywood feel to it, which I absolutely loath. Also, The connection between part 1 and part 2 was very weak.

But, I did like the story line in part 2; it was well written.

I tell you, I was sitting watching the movie with this look on my face, like someone in the room just farted amd the smell wasn't going away.