Horror Movie Reviews
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Cheese on the high seas
Strays too far from the novelAfter reading some quite negative reviews for this film my hopes were not very high. Fortunately i was pleasantly surprised as the film was not a total loss. However there were too many changes from the novel. Firstly the heroic characters in the novel (particularly the captain, the drunk Englishman and the French officer) were totally missing in the film version. The whole explosives sub plot never occurred and was just a conveniant way of finishing the film. I did appreciate the seeweed (although not carnivorous in the novel), the squid creature and the giant crab on the island (minus the scorpion) were taken from the novel pretty much as is. Also great was the shipwreck graveyard and the eerie orange sky. And yes the natural gas filled balloons do make sense if you have read the novel.
The ending was a bit disappointing and seemed almost rushed. This is where the film really strayed. Many people would find the novel offensive because of its portrayal of coloured people. For this reason i fully understand and support the changes made, but even so the ending was nowhere near as exciting as it could have been.
Overall a decent effort by Hammer but not as good as the other Wheatley adaptation "The Devil Rides Out". Its a shame "The Haunting of Toby Jugg" was planned but never made by Hammer, it has great potential. Well maybe one day someone will make it.
A Weird And Wacky Hammer Adventure FlickEven trying to explain this one is pretty useless, since the flick is literally all over the place! A mysterious group of characters, each with their own shaded past, are traveling on a rusty steam ship along with a highly explosive cargo. Along the way, they have to deal with gigantic killer crustaceans, religious fanatics, blood-thirsty sea-weed (my personal favorite) and much more. The film is full of melodramatic clichés (including the teary-eyed confessional that attempts to convince us that a one-dimension character is actually two-dimensional) and the plot zips along at a fairly quick pace. The climax and ending is especially entertaining, with the introduction of a character that has literally two minutes of screen time and yet is the only person in the entire film who the characters give a proper burial... great stuff!!! As you might have imagined, THE LOST CONTINENT is a genuinely unpredictable film, which is part of the fun of it all. Of course, it's also impossible to take seriously and its fun atmosphere means it holds up considerably well upon repeated viewings.
Add in a hilarious lounge soundtrack and you've got the perfect midnight popcorn flick. It's amazing that Hammer even released such a crazy flick (on second thought, they were also responsible for the utterly baffling THE LEGEND OF THE SEVEN GOLDEN VAMPIRES, so maybe it's not that surprising after all). Anchor Bay Entertainment gives this obscure flick a great release... The film is presented uncut and widescreen and we're treated to theatrical trailers, television spots, a cardboard poster recreation, and an episode of the World of Hammer television show entitled "Lands Before Time" (which unfortunately gives away to the films SHE and THE VENGEANCE OF SHE, so be warned). Highly recommended!


Holy Monkey!P.S.-Shout out to the swim team-I know all of you truly love "Monkey Shines"
Funny
The greatest movie since Tremors

For Adrienne Barbeau fans, primarily.Adapted from a DC Comics character, Swamp Thing joins the ranks of comic adaptations that should never have been. On the side of evil is a 2-dimensional evil botanist (Louis Jourdan) and an incompetent band of commandos (David Hess, Nicholas Worth, et al). The hero is a GOOD botanist (Ray Wise) who transforms into the rubber-suited title character (Dick Durock) and is lovesick for Barbeau. They all muck about in the swamp searching for the ultimate glowing green fertilizer.
If you have a hankering to see director Wes Craven at his worst or Barbeau's breasts at their best, this is a must-see. There's no other reason to go near it.
10 reasons why Swamp Thing is a great DVD
Nostalgia at it's best!!!

Two out of three ain't bad...
Best of the Body-Snatchers MoviesAn EPA agent and his family are visiting an army base where there might be toxic waste leaking into the environment. Little do they know that chemicals are not the real threat. Strange pods have been found in the marsh.
As you are probably aware, the pods grow into duplicates of people and then replace them. On an army base, once an officer has been taken, it is easy to trap the lower ranks. It also means that the pod people have access to weapons supplies.
But the locale is not the only improvement in this version. We get plenty of key scenes where you never quite know who is still themselves and who can not be trusted. The conversion process has also been improved to explain how the pods can copy people and what happens to the bodies afterwards.
There is quite a bit of nudity in this version, so it is not as accessible as the earlier versions, but is definitely worth it.
BODY SNATCHERS - MEG TILLYIf you have never seen any of these "Invation of the Body Snatcher" movies. Please watch them in order...The original from 1956 with Kevin McCarthy ..next the 1978 with Donald Sutherland , then this version "The Body Snatchers"with Meg Tilly ...to be able to enjoy them all


oh so average.3 men break into this house, only...i forget her name but the teenage girl and her little sister manage to hide out of sight from the robbers, technically they arent even robbers but anyways. They slap around the mom, the dad, and the brother every now and then and eventally kill the brother and the dad...which makes this movie a little more suprising than others who would just give you the same old fairy tale ending. the teenage girl knows she is the only chance to save the rest of her family and plots to save them.
this movie is nothing special but atleast it'll keep your intrest from start to finish.
If I Die Before I WakeThe plot of the movie couldn't be more simple. A gang of hoodlums break into a family's house while they are home. They begin to terrorize the family while the two daughters (who the thugs didn't know existed yet) try to escape and get help. That's it. There's no backstory on any of the characters and the movie gets under way without and development at all. Most of the violence in the film is done off screen so we really don't get to see much of it, just hear it. And since there are no special effects, no set changes and pretty much no budget, what we are left with is the story, the characters and the acting.
I felt the real winner in this little film was the acting. The girl who layed Loribeth was actually quite good. Coming off as very scared but determined. The main "bad guy" (done in meniacal fashion by the same "bad guy" in "I Know What You Did Last Summer") also was very convincing as the instigator/leader of the group. Most of the supporting cast was acceptable enough.
Overall, the movie successfully comes off with a bit of a scared and tense feeling to it and does the job of making you interested and feel sympathy for Loribeth. I felt with a little more effort and maybe a few more bucks in the budget they could have made it into something much better, but it's a reasonable entry into a genre that doesn't get much attention nowadays....
Funniest Classic I've ever seen

oh so average.3 men break into this house, only...i forget her name but the teenage girl and her little sister manage to hide out of sight from the robbers, technically they arent even robbers but anyways. They slap around the mom, the dad, and the brother every now and then and eventally kill the brother and the dad...which makes this movie a little more suprising than others who would just give you the same old fairy tale ending. the teenage girl knows she is the only chance to save the rest of her family and plots to save them.
this movie is nothing special but atleast it'll keep your intrest from start to finish.
If I Die Before I WakeThe plot of the movie couldn't be more simple. A gang of hoodlums break into a family's house while they are home. They begin to terrorize the family while the two daughters (who the thugs didn't know existed yet) try to escape and get help. That's it. There's no backstory on any of the characters and the movie gets under way without and development at all. Most of the violence in the film is done off screen so we really don't get to see much of it, just hear it. And since there are no special effects, no set changes and pretty much no budget, what we are left with is the story, the characters and the acting.
I felt the real winner in this little film was the acting. The girl who layed Loribeth was actually quite good. Coming off as very scared but determined. The main "bad guy" (done in meniacal fashion by the same "bad guy" in "I Know What You Did Last Summer") also was very convincing as the instigator/leader of the group. Most of the supporting cast was acceptable enough.
Overall, the movie successfully comes off with a bit of a scared and tense feeling to it and does the job of making you interested and feel sympathy for Loribeth. I felt with a little more effort and maybe a few more bucks in the budget they could have made it into something much better, but it's a reasonable entry into a genre that doesn't get much attention nowadays....
Funniest Classic I've ever seen

Not bad at all. A fun movie.
A horror movie for guysIt's been done before, obviously -- Corey Haim plays a gay boy trying to de-vampirize his brother in "The Lost Boys." But never with so much eye-candy and homoerotic sizzle, and a quiet boy-next-door romance on top of it. If only somebody had the nerve to use the "g" word, just once, it would get 5 stars.
Greatly Godawful

Only the 50s Could Have Produced This One
Flathead Fever!As for the movie itself, well it's bad but doesn't take itself too seriously. Too much 1950's stuff is crammed into the movie for a two hour horror flick. Hot rods, rock and roll, teen angst, rich vrs poor, and of course the rich girl dating the poor boy. All this and a giant Gila monster! They could have had about three decent movies (budget allowing of course) out of this low budget gem that tries to do too much with way too little.
Viewed as a fun piece of nostaglia it is certainly worth watching.
A Mixture of Humor and Corniness!The story centers around a small town that is ravaged by a giant gila monster that emerged from the desert. While the gila monster wreaks havoc on the town and the town's people, the audience is also treated to the singing of Don Sullivan, who plays the lead. While it was funny at first, by the end of the movie you'll want to scream if you have to hear the song, "Laugh Children Laugh" one more time!
All in all, I did like this movie. It's interesting to see the archaic special effects that were probably cutting edge back in 1959 and compare them to the out-of-this-world effects used now. For those of you who love those old, drive-in movies that are purely for entertainment this is the one for you!


Ok AIP Horror
Typical 60s AIP Brit-HorrorAs a piece of filmic Lovecraft the picture doesn't really work. If, however, you want a well-preserved widescreen slice of mid-sixties Brit horror then look no further. MGM's print has a few scratches but the colour photography in the opening scenes of the railway station and the village must look as good as (if not better than) when the film was first released. The special effects are what you would expect from this time period - psychedelic colour filters and rubber puppets twisted into funny shapes to simulate the greenhouse mutations. Good value for money, even if the only extras are a trailer and chapter selections.
Lurking With LovecraftNick Adams visits his fiance Susan Farmer's ancestral estate in the country, where he is not welcomed with open arms. Farmer's father, Boris Karloff, has a feared and hated name in the region, for reasons no one will disclose. Karloff himself tries to send Adams away upon his arrival, but Farmer won't hear of it - nor will her mother, the sickly and sequestered Frieda Jackson, who sent for Adams in the first place.
Standoffish Karloff is hiding something, and even Jackson isn't fully sure what it is. It has something to do with a meteorite that permanently blasted the nearby heath some years ago, and is somehow killing Karloff's household. Jackson wants Adams to take Farmer away from the unhealthy environment.
But Adams discovers from town doctor Patrick Magee that Karloff's family has always been twisted with a bizarre space-cult religion, which in some way has something to do not only with their penchant for undiagnosable wasting illness, but also seems to have created an unknown poison that is sucking the vital life force out of the entire area and gives birth to mutations.
It isn't long before Adams discovers the hidden source of Karloff's family's - and the town's - woes: Karloff has been keeping the meteorite in his diseased progenitors' religious shrine, where its unearthly cosmic force continues to ravage anything in the vicinity. Before the story is out, most of his household will succumb to it - in colorfully hideous fashion, by way of disintegrating facial makeups and sundry other mutations - and Adams will have a nasty time delivering poor Susan Farmer (and himself) to safety.
The movie is uneven, and takes a while to get going. There are a lot of stalking-through-the-mansion shots. But director Haller's experience as an artistic scene designer shows, and the film is indeed extremely colorful and atmospheric. There are some clever puppet effects used to show mutated plant-creatures and lesser changed animals. Jackson's disintegration is a great moment, very creepy and unsettling. And Karloff undergoes a final unlikely mutation himself, transforming from a wheelchair-ridden irascible old man into a silvery-greenish, bald, athletically powerful alien attacker - which makes no logical sense whatsoever, but is great fun to watch.
A typical movie of the studio and the time, but elevated by a good cast, decent script, and terrific production design and cinematography.


Milo
Underrated mystery-horror.This is the standard slasher movie plot but the movie is somewhat different. First of all, it has less main characters than most slashers, which makes you care more for them, and especially the heroine, Claire. On the other hand, less characters mean less opportunities to kill them. The result is a horror movie that is more of a mystery than a gory slasher.
The movie is director Pascal Franchot's first, and so far only moviem and some scenes could have been better made, but overall this is a good debut.
In my opinion, this is better than the standard slasher because the plot is more interesting and the characters are better than in many slashers and easier to care for. The last fifteen or twenty minutes aren't quite as good as the rest of the movie, but still not bad. If you're looking for a mystery-horror movie, give this a try! If you want a slahser with as many killings as possible, there are other movies that would be better.
3.5 Stars
Okay, now that that is out of my system. The film starts out on
an interesting tale of a sea captain (Eric Porter) with surly
attitude and a secret. (And this yahoo is supposed to be the star) The boat is on it's last sea leg, (sorry) and the crew is
looking for a reason to rebel.....the plot was reason enough for me. Anyhoo, Then we have the passengers, the Love Boat this aint.
These people are all running away from personal and criminal problems. They all board this rusty ship, with a crooked captain,
and his lovely crew. The captain's secret is he is carrying an
explosive material,....that detonates when it's wet. The ship is heading out to sea when they find out they're heading into a Hurricane. The crew, headed by Michael Ripper, discovers the illegal cargo when the ship developes a leak...in the hull....
where the explosives are. The passengers and the crew move the
explosives and then abandon ship. Way too many people are floating about on this raft, when they just happen to come across the ship they had abandoned earlier. Now, here's where it gets rediculous.. murderous seaweed, rubber monsters, a chick with impossibly large breasts, spanish sadists, balloon harnesses (don't ask), and a big stupid messy ending.
The Anchor Bay version has extra footage that was cut because it was too adult, there's no nudity, but believe me if any film ever needed it, it's this one!
The reproduction is murky and dark which made it almost impossible to see this horrible train wreck of a picture. You might be wondering why I gave it 2 stars.....Let's put it this way, one of the stars is for the widescreen presentation and the other star is for having the, um...male fortitude to actually make the film.