Don Movie Reviews

I was a little disappointed in this sequel to the original Creepshow. In the first movie, there was around five segments, while here we only get three. If it were three really great stories, I could let it slide, but that's not the case.

The first story, titled Old Chief Woodenhead, stars George Kennedy as an owner of a general store in a town that has seen better days. His wife thinks it's time to close the store and retire, but George feels a sort of obligation to the town that's supported him and his family over the years, and feels he needs to give a little back. The title of the story refers to a wooden Indian in front of the store, which comes to life and exacts revenge on the gang of punks after they rob and kill George and his wife. Pretty standard stuff, not really scary, and no real surprises.

The next story is called The Raft and is easily the best of the three. It's about four high school kids that go swimming in a lake with a raft. The swimming season is over, but the raft hasn't been removed from the lake, so they are getting in one last swim. While on the raft, they encounter a strange, gooey blob like mass floating in the water. They also discover the hard way that it has an appetite. There are some fairly gory scenes in this short, along with some nudity. The ending is quite good, and almost make up for the lameness of the other two stories.

The third story is the weakest of the bunch. The HitchHiker involves a woman driving home from an extramarital affair, and she accidentally hits and kills a hitchhiker. She has a moment of indecision, but then flees the scene. Along the way home, she does wrestle with what happened, try to justify to herself leaving the scene of the accident, when the hitch-hiker starts appearing on the road even though she knows that couldn't be possible. She starts to lose it, and begins to attack the man with her car. This goes on for awhile, and the shocking ending isn't really all that shocking. I just thought this was a really poor story to end the movie on. One thing I found kind of funny was no matter how mess up the hitchhiker got, he would always repeat the same line, "Thanks for the ride, lady." I found myself saying that to friends for awhile. Also, watch for Stephen King with a small role as a truck driver in this segment.

There is a story interspersed between three stories, like in the first movie. It involves a boy, some bullies, and a man eating Venus flytrap. The segments are mostly animated, and it's sort of fun.

As I stated in the beginning, I think we were a little short changed on this movie. Two lame segments and one good one do not make a great movie. The first Creepshow was much more fun, and had a much more comic book feel, which reminded me of the great EC comics of the past. There was a little of that here, but not enough. And something else I noticed was there were a lot more recognizable actors in the first movie than in this movie. I bought this DVD as I am sort of a completist, and I really like the second story, but interested viewers would probably be better served purchasing the first and renting this one

Not nearly as good as its chilling precursor, a collection of short horror films based on the works of Stephen King, this sequel contains about half as many "terror tales" as the original and as a result, seems to come up short.

CREEPSHOW 2 is not an awful movie by any means as it tells three stories (and also features a short cartoon) presented as a take on the old EC comic series.

The first story is a simple revenge tale featuring a Native American statue that exacts vengeance on a group of hoodlums who murder an antique store owner and his wife. The story is by-the-numbers but is presented pretty well. Our second tale finds a group of oversexed pot-smoking teen swimmers trying to get away from some type of man-eating human waste in the pond. This one is pretty creepy with some "stay out of the water" horror mixed with some humor. The last one plays on that classic concept of the sinner trying to cover up their mistakes but not being able to bury them properly as a cheating housewife runs down a hitchiker who just won't stay dead.

If you enjoyed the first film, this is pretty much more of the same. Unfortunately, where the first film was a gripping collaboration between horror masters, Stephen King and George Romero that had fun playing with the many common phobias in American culture, this sequel just feels like a bunch of old Tales From The Crypt re-runs played one after another. Not a bad movie if you're looking for a few good scares.

3 stories of terror introduced by the Creep (in animation form) who appears to have the same sense of macabre humor as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. The stories even begin the same way as match shots from comic-book to film. The first story is called "Old Chief Woodenhead". George Kennedy stars as an old convenience store owner who is robbed and killed by a bunch of 80's punks. His Indian statue comes alive and avenges his death. This story is probably the least entertaining and takes a while to get going.

Story number 2 is called "The Raft" focuses on 4 teenagers out to have a good time at a secluded lake. But a huge sludge monster is out to eat them all up. This is probably the best story as it is very fast-paced and engaging.

The last, and longest story is "The Hitchhiker" in which a rich, cheater (Lois Chiles) runs over the titular character and is haunted by his corpse all the way home until she loses her mind. This is quite a cool story with some interesting direction. Stephen King has a cameo as a trucker. Tom Savini (seriously) appears as the live action Creep and the beginning and end of the movie.

Image and Sound The 1.85:1 anamorphic picture is surprisingly beautiful and free of anything remotely resembling dirt, artifacts or pixalization. Black levels and fleshtones are suspiciously natural and color fidelity is superb. One wonders how such and old, and little seen, film can look so good. And although the soundtrack is plain and simple Mono it had me fooled a couple of times. The sound is clear and crisp and is free of hiss or distortion. Kudos to Anchor Bay on this transfer.

The Extras We get a non-anamorphic trailer and a photo gallery with shots of behind the scenes activity. Nothing is really too interesting apart from a couple of shots of the actor who played the Hitchhiker having his make-up applied. The menus are animated (literally) and are fun to watch when selecting a new page.

A must have for horror fans and Steven King affectionados. Even if you haven't seen the first film (like me) this is still a must have and a definite keeper. Very few people are likely to feel shortchanged after watching this movie.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was an attempt to make the worst movie of all times (the hoped to beat Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space). It is hard to tell which is worse, but there is a certain appeal to Tomatoes (and not just the wonderful theme song).

A genetic experiment gets out of hand and tomatoes turn on humans. The government wants to keep things quiet so the hire Mason Dixon to lead the investigation. But soon the tomatoes are everywhere and the army seems powerless to stop them.

The end of the film mas seem familiar to a larger-budget invasion film (I won't tell you which, but they did it in Tomatoes first). According to the credits, the scene contains "Every nutcase in San Diego." Even the San Diego Chicken makes an appearance (and he was really big at the time).

The whole film is full of gags (visual and spoken) in a way that makes one believe that the movie spawned the Airplane franchise. A favorite is when the dubbed Japanese scientist accidently knocks a picture of the USS Arizona into a fish tank. When the giant tomatoes attack, look for the stage hands pushing them from behind.

Just remember that this film is intended to be bad.

I hadn't heard about the director's cut, so I was stunned to see that the movie that I watched dozens of times in my youth had been changed. Missing are some of my favorite bits, like the radio dj mocking the "Giant tomatoes mean bigger pizzas" line and the character of the bland receptionist who says everything with absolutely no inflection. Bring back the original!!!

Having said that, there still are some great surreal jokes floating around. It only appeals to a certain sense of humor, but I have it so...

The all-time funny cult classic is here now on DVD! "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" parodies everything from "The Birds" to "Jaws". Totally funny! You'll split your gut from laughter! Loads of laughs guaranteed! SUPER-HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was an attempt to make the worst movie of all times (the hoped to beat Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space). It is hard to tell which is worse, but there is a certain appeal to Tomatoes (and not just the wonderful theme song).

A genetic experiment gets out of hand and tomatoes turn on humans. The government wants to keep things quiet so the hire Mason Dixon to lead the investigation. But soon the tomatoes are everywhere and the army seems powerless to stop them.

The end of the film mas seem familiar to a larger-budget invasion film (I won't tell you which, but they did it in Tomatoes first). According to the credits, the scene contains "Every nutcase in San Diego." Even the San Diego Chicken makes an appearance (and he was really big at the time).

The whole film is full of gags (visual and spoken) in a way that makes one believe that the movie spawned the Airplane franchise. A favorite is when the dubbed Japanese scientist accidently knocks a picture of the USS Arizona into a fish tank. When the giant tomatoes attack, look for the stage hands pushing them from behind.

Just remember that this film is intended to be bad.

I hadn't heard about the director's cut, so I was stunned to see that the movie that I watched dozens of times in my youth had been changed. Missing are some of my favorite bits, like the radio dj mocking the "Giant tomatoes mean bigger pizzas" line and the character of the bland receptionist who says everything with absolutely no inflection. Bring back the original!!!

Having said that, there still are some great surreal jokes floating around. It only appeals to a certain sense of humor, but I have it so...

The all-time funny cult classic is here now on DVD! "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" parodies everything from "The Birds" to "Jaws". Totally funny! You'll split your gut from laughter! Loads of laughs guaranteed! SUPER-HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

I graduated college in 1993. Yet almost a year later I was working as a retail sales clerk. I guess I was one of those underachieving Gen-X "slackers" this movie was trying to reach for its audience. I am now ashamed to admit that I paid to see this movie when it was released. But I swear I only did so because Winona Ryder was and still is (despite her criminal record) very nice to look at and not because I thought this movie spoke to me about my generation or any nonsense like that.

This movie is about four recently graduated college friends who find adjusting to the real world to be tougher than they thought. They end up either working at jobs that they feel are beneath them or they just don't work at all. Meanwhile, their social lives are in turmoil. The story mostly centers around little Winona's character and the two men who compete for her affections. One of these men is played by Ethan Hawke as the penultimate 90's hipster slacker. He's an arrogant philosophy major/musician/poet who chain smokes, has nothing but contempt for people in "corporate America" (ie anyone who works), and has taken aggressive stances against getting a job, shaving, and washing his hair. In other words: Ethan Hawke plays a complete jerk! The other male character is played by Ben Stiller- a hard working TV executive who is very nice. However, in the end the nice guy finishes last as little Winona hooks up with her slimy, leech of a friend. I still remember leaving the theater and saying to myself: "What the heck was that all about?"

I guess this movie is the sort that divides the sexes in their opinions. Every guy I know who has seen this movie finds Ethan Hawke's character to be a contemptible creep. Yet, when I ask women why Winona chooses the jerk in the end they roll their eyes at me and say: "It's Ethan Hawke and he's hot!" My guess of where this movie went awry was that Ben Stiller was incapable of playing his character as a shallow "suit" which is what the script probably called for. Instead, Stiller's inate sweetness transformed his character into the "nice guy" without his realizing it. Thus, people, who can look beyond Hawke's scuzzy good looks, will end up just astonished that Winona chooses the jerk over a good man.

Halfway through RB Ben Stiller makes an extremely prophetic comment. This comment describes exactly the level of insight into life that the viewer can expect from RB. Stiller comments that he (as a TV exec) knows more about what a woman needs than Ethan Hawke, with all his (Hawke's) IQ and his sophomoric ramblings.

Unfortunately that is not the message this flick is trying to convey, since we end up being expected to believe that Ethan, with his criminal habits, has the inside track on life. Great. If this is what we can expect from GenX then God help us, it's time to invest our future somewhere outside the U.S.

In this movie we have 4 losers.

We don't learn much about Steve Zahn, outside that he acts like a druggie and is gay. But the other three are definitely on the fast track to nowhere.

Janeane Garofolo is a promiscuous slut and we are expected to feel sorry for her when (I guess, it's all sort of vague) she contracts HIV. D'uh. Her diary shows 66 partners and she can't seem to remember the name of the dude she just slept with.

Winona Ryder plays another GenX idiot who blows a perfectly decent job because, apparently, the people who hired her expect her to do the duties they hired her to do. This is too much for her. After all she is 23 years old and has a college degree! After she embarasses the guy she's working for on national TV she can't figure out why no one else in the industry will hire her! She actually proves that he was right to not want her as his assisstant. What an idiot she is. But we are supposed to think she is "hip" and her boss (who's paying the salary by the way) is wrong. She then "handles" her unemployment problems by running up huge phone bills on the psychic hotline. What a double idiot. She then "handles" her money problems by running a credit card scam, stealing hundreds of dollars from her father. She basically portrays a criminal. All her life she has been given just about everything on a platter and she rewards the people who helped her with criminal acts.

Then we come to the worst loser of the bunch. Ethan Hawke can't even hold a job at a newsstand. The reason is simple. He is so low on any sort of understanding of the concepts of right and wrong that he steals from his employer. He then sponges off his friends, living rent free and doing nothing to earn it, sneaking his laundry into theirs... you get the picture. But I guess that since he has such a "high IQ" we are supposed to feel his angst. He's just too "smart" to be required to actually do something valuable to earn his keep. He just deserves to live free on everyone else's nickel because he read a few books by Hegel and Kant once. His "philosophy" is unbelieveably simplistic, but as for that there is nothing that anyone is going to learn philosophy-wise in college that hasn't been known since the Egyptians and the Greeks anyhow. But this guy wears his insane nihilistic beliefs like a badge of honor. He is simply lazy and a criiminal and the reason his life is a mess is no mystery at all. He simply has mucked it up on his own. The way he treats Ryder is beneath contempt. And, honestly, anyone who tried to treat me in as contemptible fashion as he did Ben Stiller would learn some manners really quickly as he picked his teeth up off the floor. She naturally dumps Stiller,who offers her everything, for Hawke, who has given and will give nothing but grief.

The only character with any redeeming qualities in this abominable waste of celluloid is Ben Stiller. At least he has a job. He is involved in the entertainment industry. But true to form, when he tries to make Ryder's sophomoric video documentary into something actually entertaining, he is held in contempt for selling out or something like that.

The parents are, naturally, depicted as members of the establishment, unable to understand their GenX children, only interested in money.. yadda yadda yadda... you've heard it all before. But it was done in an entertaining fashion in "The Graduate". RB is a sort of a 90's Bataan Death March. However the "prisoners" are too psychotic to see that the "guards" really are trying to help them out. These GenX dweebs are just too hung up in their own self-importance to ever really see that. So they blithely march down the path of self-destruction and treat every opportunity they come across as some sort of horrible torture.

To be successful in life you have to be able to provide something of value that other people want and are willing to pay for. Does GenX believe that they deserve to live well without doing anything for it? Apparently the real (and unintentional) lesson this movie teaches is that Genx has it so incredibly easy that these people have to contrive really stupid situations in order to create an apparency that their lives have any sort of value. Even the baby boomers had the Vietnam War to force them to some semblance of maturity. This movie depicts GenX as the biggest generation of spoiled brats and losers in history.

I don't believe that GenX deserves to be treated this contemptibly.

great beginning directing movie for Ben Stiller who has a good part but then his charater gets a little annoying at the end and I liked that Ryder picked Hawke over Stiller. the funniest thing is that Steve Zahn's character turns out to be gay, hilarious. Ethan Hawke sings "Im Nuthing" in the bar scene and he sings it good, not perfect or awesome, but good. Garafolo is a hoot. its funny and charming and a great start for Stiller, who's sister and mom appear in this movie along with Renee Zellweger, David Spade and Kevin Pollack.

I thought this fourth, and supposedly final, sequel was lacking something...like a plot. It tended to plod along, with little or no direction. As with the other movies in this series, this one tends to create more questions than it answers, which I thought was strange as how this is supposed to be the last Phantasm movie. Somewhat annoying....fans will be happy to see all the original cast members are back, but may be disappointed in the lack of thrills, action, scares, and coherent storyline. The previous movies played the game of leaving things open ended, making things appear not as they seem, but at least there was a fairly linear story to follow. Not here....

As I said, the original cast members are back, all showing their age, especially the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm), and I still enjoy seeing him and hearing him utter his line "Booooy!". This movie sort of picks up where the third installment left off. We do find out more information about what's happening to Mike. We also get a little more information about the Tall Man, his origins, but not nearly enough to satisfy fans of the series. I don't know, he just didn't seem as menacing as he did in previous movies, but he did appear to be more powerful, so it was really odd. Reggie is back, and is the one character to appear in all the movies. His role in this movie is less than I would have wanted, as he really didn't get to do too much and wasn't integral to the story. The whole movie seemed thrown together, without much effort given to the story or the characters. One scene that comes to mind is when Reggie gets pulled over by a police car on a lonely road while pursuing Mike. The policeman takes his license and registration, and then disappears. Reggie goes to investigate, and gets attacked by a sort of zombie cop. Reggie takes refuge in the squad car, and attempts to remove the shotgun that's secured to the dash. He's unable to free it, but that's okay, as the zombie cop has conveniently decided to get on top of the roof and try to attack Reggie from that awkward vantage point through a window. Seeing as how the zombie cop is now on the roof, Reggie doesn't need to free the shotgun, but only to pull the trigger. As there was no reason for the zombie cop to get on the roof, it was all a set up to show that cool scene where Reggie is able to use the locked down shotgun and fire through the roof. The filmmaker also used a lot of scenes that were cut out from previous movies to create flashbacks. While it was really cool to see these scenes, the flashbacks got pretty longwinded and tedious and didn't seem to really add to the story. I would have rather seen these scenes re-edited into the movies they came from, or put into an extra features sections, but here they grew tiresome and seemed like a way to pad out the movie. We also see Jody, and Mike. Most of the movie seems to center on Mike, and his 'evolution'. We get to see his use his new powers, but kind of lame as these new powers are pretty useless when he goes against the Tall Man.

I didn't really talk a lot about the actual story, as it was so sloppy and slap dash, so I would recommend sticking to the first movie in this series, as it's the best. The next two were pretty good, and had a lot of action, but lacked the creepiness of the first movie. This last movie should probably be avoided, as it's pretty poor and looks more of an effort to cash in on the franchise than a labor of love. I think the fans deserved better.

You were left with a cliff-hanger in the earlier film. This film will end that segment for you and give you a new Phantasm story. Once again, A. Michael Balwin, Reggie Bannister, Bill Thornbury and Angus Scrimm delight you with more silver spheres, suspense, horror and laughter. Angus Scrimm plays a dual role with the other role being quite different than the "Tall Man". He actually plays a role as a decent, nice man. Reggie once again must find Michael and help him. Michael has already entered the world of Phantasm and is in Death Valley. What is a neat idea about this film is that footage from the first film in 1979 is re-used nicely and ties-in to this forth film. I won't say anything more about this film so you can be surprised. Nice boob job though. A fifth Phantasm film is in the works. Look for PHANTASM'S END in 2004. By the way, 2004 will be Phantasm's 25th Anniversary.

This is one of my favorite Phantasm's....it brings back the original actors in their original roles. It fell more into the realm of the first Phantasm with its hard to comprehend qualities. The more you watch it the more you come to understand. I believe that some people will not like this movie, for the same reason they didn't like the first one. (Phan 2 being thier favorite....NOT mine) It has a sureal quailty that film goers dont like these days. They prefer a movie that spells it out for you and lays it all up front. They lack imagination and expect the filmaker to give them one. If you find this movie confusing its because you haven't actually seen it. Watch it again until you figure it out. If you still think Phantasm 2 was the best of the series then you should stop watching these movies all together and stick to Wes Craven Presents. Your proababy better suited for cattle films like Ghost Ship. If you follow the herd your just another cow!

Noted mainly for the fearsome "Whistle of Doom" -- a happy, perky whistled tune that just happens to be in a pitch range that Namek-seijin simply cannot stand (imagine a thousand fingernails scraping down a blackboard) -- this is even for DBZ a pretty lightweight offering. After the Z-team deflects an asteroid from hitting the Earth, an alien craft filled with nasty but light-sensitive aliens lands on Earth and begins to cover it with dark clouds. They are led by an incredibly aged Namek who is still a very powerful warrior. When he sees a Dragon Ball, he recognizes it for what it is and has his people gather them and wishes himself back to full power.

There are some decent fight sequences in this (Piccolo gets some very cool moments), but overall it's not all that great. The ending has a nice moment -- a sort of prequel of the later "fusion technique" shown in the Buu sequence -- but there are sufficient stupid or pedestrian moments which drop this back down to a so-so entertainment effort.

this one has Lord Slug comming and invadeing earth. Goku and some of the others come and try to stop him and theres an all out war. Piccolo has great moments and Goku also fighting the huge transformed Slug is a highlight. for fans and kids, though the little kids should watch the edited version

The animation was done very well and the music went with the action in the movie. The plot was simple yet exciting and the fight scenes were great. The voice actores did a good job with the characters. This is the kind of movie that I would watch again and enjoy. I highly recomend this movie.

Noted mainly for the fearsome "Whistle of Doom" -- a happy, perky whistled tune that just happens to be in a pitch range that Namek-seijin simply cannot stand (imagine a thousand fingernails scraping down a blackboard) -- this is even for DBZ a pretty lightweight offering. After the Z-team deflects an asteroid from hitting the Earth, an alien craft filled with nasty but light-sensitive aliens lands on Earth and begins to cover it with dark clouds. They are led by an incredibly aged Namek who is still a very powerful warrior. When he sees a Dragon Ball, he recognizes it for what it is and has his people gather them and wishes himself back to full power.

There are some decent fight sequences in this (Piccolo gets some very cool moments), but overall it's not all that great. The ending has a nice moment -- a sort of prequel of the later "fusion technique" shown in the Buu sequence -- but there are sufficient stupid or pedestrian moments which drop this back down to a so-so entertainment effort.

this one has Lord Slug comming and invadeing earth. Goku and some of the others come and try to stop him and theres an all out war. Piccolo has great moments and Goku also fighting the huge transformed Slug is a highlight. for fans and kids, though the little kids should watch the edited version

The animation was done very well and the music went with the action in the movie. The plot was simple yet exciting and the fight scenes were great. The voice actores did a good job with the characters. This is the kind of movie that I would watch again and enjoy. I highly recomend this movie.

Who had the idea for this junk? It's sad to hear the actors trying to be Germans, there's few female nudity, the girls are very ugly. Blood? That's red painting and strawberry jelly made at home. And the tortures they have are nothing. Tickles are more cruel than the tortures in this film. And the hero, he's blonde with a white smile, he's clean and just shaved, while the other prisoners are dirty and gross. Save your money for a movie with perfect chicks and a lot of female nudity, not for this junk.

The exploitation film using Nazi Germany as a framework had its roots in The Night Porter, Love Camp 7, and then Salon Kitty, but Ilsa, She Wolf Of The SS, topped them all in sheer blood and brutality. So when producer Herman Traeger's onscreen message that the events of the movie were based on fact, the medical experiments in camps--(q.v. William L. Shirer's The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich) is concluded with "We dedicate this film with the hope that these horrors will never happen again", I have to raise an eyebrow of skepticism. With the new film rating system six years old at the time this film was released, what's the purpose of this movie if not to show scenes of naked women being tortured in the most horrific way?

When Ilsa, the powerful, well-built, towering blonde commandant of Medical Camp 9, tells the women prisoners, that this isn't Dachau or the notorious women's prison Ravensbruck, well, that's true enough, but the following belies the pseudo-science the Nazis conducted on millions of prisoners. "Your stay will be short but you will be a help to the Reich. That is your destiny." Ilsa is hard-pressed to prove her theory that women can withstand pain by torture more than men. One of the prisoners, a woman named Anna, becomes her selection. Her gradual deterioration is directly proportionate to Ilsa's obsessiveness.

Of the prisoners, the men are workers, the women are patients, of which a few are sent to the brothel to service the soldiers. As for the rest, they are subjected to medical experiments, such as Kala, whose face is horrible to watch.

One of the newly arriving workers, Wolfe, a blond American, may be the commandant's Achilles heel, as he is able to satisfy the insatiable Ilsa, who has castrated previous others who haven't, including Mario, a prisoner Wolfe befriends who kind of resembles Dustin Hoffman. Together, they team up with the girls to break out of the camp at the right moment, as Wolfe is expecting the Allies to close in anytime soon.

As stated in the intro, many of the people were composites of actual people. Ilsa, for instance, was partially based on Frau Ilse Koch, the wife of the commandant of Buchenwald, in terms of name (Ilse/Ilsa) and her having absolute power of life and death over everyone. There's also a lot of Dr. Sigmund Rascher at Dachau, where he conducted decompression chamber experiments as seen at one point in the movie. BTW, the victim in there is unbilled but is played by Uschi Digard, who made many underground exploitation flicks in the 1960's.

And this rivals Dead Alive and Terror Firmer in sheer bloodiness, the difference being the brutality and torture. Many of the experiments are shown and are pretty gruesome to watch, so please don't eat anything before you watch this. The plenitude of full nudity is tame compared to what goes on. Ilsa is pretty callous too. When asked why she doesn't use anesthesia on a victim, she says, "Does one give caviar to guinea pigs?"

This was the first of four Ilsa films, the other ones being The Wicked Warden, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks, and Tigress of Siberia, of which Dyanne Thorne played all four Ilsas. This pretty much fits the definition of what the British call a video nasty.

Ah, now here's a movie. Ilsa, She-Wolf of th SS. A crazy, exploitiong, horror and blood filled movie depicting a Nazi Concentration Camp and it's Commandant, Ilsa.

The camp has it's share of inmates both male and female. The men have two functions, manual labor and sexually gratifying Ilsa. Of course if you fail to satisfy Ilsa, you will never again be with another woman as she and her two hot blond nurses turn you into a 'half-man' with a snip of the steel. Women serve another purpose, medical experiments. Ilsa is a doctor of sorts trying to prove to the Third Reich Command that women are superior to men. They can withstand more pain which makes them more saveage killers.

Among the prisoners are two freaks, one male, one female. The male is an American (of all things) who was studying in Germany's University when the war began. He can control his body until Ilsa (and all her nurses) are satisfied. Because of this his manhood is spared and he becomes a nightly visitor to Ilsa's private quarters.

The woman can withstand any pain the Nazi's can dream up. And they can come up with some very perverted, painful, and unusual techniques, most of them involving private and sensitive areas.

Yes you can plainly see that this was filmed on the location of Hogan's Heros. Also look for the lesbian guard who likes to hang out with the soldiers and guards. She is popular among the guards by providing female prisoners. Then there is the fat male doctor who seems to have TB or something.

Well as always, the prisoners revolt and a decent gunfight ensues. It escalates until the regular German army comes in and blows the place to hell. All the Nazi's are killed, and poor Ilsa ends up tied naked to a bed and has her head blown off by a Nazi officer. That is so that the coming Americans will never know what happened.

Good points:

Ilsa is HOT, this chick has a killer bod and huge boobs. She even turns on her commanding officer who orders her to pee on him.

Ilsa's nurses are both blond and beautiful. Watch them whip two prisoners while they are topless. They beat their prisoners until they can't lift their arms.

The female prisoners are a hit or miss. Some are hot, some are cute, some are butt ugly.

Bad Points:

Watched this movie twenty times. Never found one.

...alien hottie kidnaps girl - ties her up in bed and decides to crash for the night next to her hostage. They both wake up in the morning - apparently kidnapped chick was tired too - however, at dawn she starts her whimpering because mean alien hottie is a tad bit threatening and is not a bit interested in hearing pleas of innocence. Alien babe hatches an idea and proceeds to cut her thumb off in front of tied up hostage who predicatively amps up the scarred voltage accordingly. Alien then cuts off hostage chick's thumb and leaves by herself. What is she up too? She dumps the kidnapped girl's severed thumb in the garbage. Later on: she ends up being chased in the Hollywood hills. The good guys are on the trail and with helo's too! After a few minutes of intense chasing the Specie drives randomly off the road and down an embankment with hostage tied in the passenger seat (we must assume that she went back to the house and got her). Remember creature-feature fans, that our Alien has never been to the Hollywood hills and does not know the land. Well well, as luck would have it there is and Explosive Box that the car is going to hit...alien dives out just in time and car explodes. Wow! So, thumb is taken back to HQ where (now, this isn't shown so I'm just guessing) they confirm that it was from the alien on the lamb - never mind that the fried corps was in the passenger seat. This movie is about as dumb as it gets, but still - it ain't too bad. Have fun and enjoy the crappy movies in life!

The main problem I saw with Species was the uneven plot. At the beginning of the movie, young Sil (played for 15 minutes by Dawson's Creek's Michelle Williams) is set up to be gassed. Sil is an alien life form caught by some secret company that monitors extra terrestrial activity. As the gas spews out, Sil jumps through the glass and escapes. At the beginning, she doesn't understand or realize why she is evil, and that was a potential interesting story arc. In several scenes, she questions the way she is and wants to know why. These parts of the film are thoughtful and rather interesting. Sil grows quickly into an adult alien who is in the body of the super hot Natasha Henstridge. When she feels like it, she morphs into an alien creature designed by none other than Alien's H.R. Giger (though not quite as impressive as that film's monster). After about 45 minutes, Sil's wonder for the way she is goes out the window and she just goes on a killing rampage, going home with horny men and slaughtering them in various ways. The movies still fun from this point, but Sil becomes less interesting as a character and just becomes a monster. The special effects are gooey and well done, the acting is fine (aside from the stupid psychic dude, who's character I hated) and Sil looks great without a shirt on (these scenes are much to short, though). Overall, Species had potential at the beginning to make Sil into the good guy and her hunters into the bad guys, but instead it took the easy way out and made her a bad girl hunted down by good guys. It's like two movies blended together: a well made, compelling one and a silly B-movie.

The DVD from MGM is good. It has an aspect ratio of 2:50:1 (or something like that) and it anamorphic for widescreen TVs. It is presented in 5.1 surround and features a trailer. I would have liked a commentary by Natasha Henstridge, but alas, the disc is bare boned.

VERYYYYYYYYYYY CREEPY IMAGIINE A HOT GIRL THAT YOU BRING HOMES ABOUT TO SLAUGHTER YOU WOW VERY DISTURBING WITH GORY AND SEXY MOMENTS A HORRIFIC MASTERPIECE

I agree the first one had spark and the second one was ok but this one is ok too but it goes on way to long with its dirty jokes and its potty humor. Epps and Cube get a few laughs. My favorite scene is when Epps terroizes the religious ladys, thats the funniest part in there. it starts off good with santa riping them off but then boom it explodes and never comes back. hope they DONT make a fouth movie

"Friday After Next" is the third installment in the "Friday" films starring Ice Cube. In this installment, Craig and his cousin Day Day begin new jobs as security guards for a strip mall where their family owns a restaurant. The night before, Craig and Day Day are robbed by a guy dressed as Santa Claus. Not only did the robber steal their Christmas gifts, but he also stole their rent money, which is, of course, due the next day. Thus begins a Friday filled with things going wrong and seeing just how crazy people can be.

While there are some very funny moments in the film, it somewhat falls flat. Ice Cube and Mike Epps are very good together as Craig and Day Day, but many of the other characters start off as funny and then become annoying.

Fans of the "Friday" series will love this installment, but I personally look forward to seeing Ice Cube in the sequel to Barbershop.

The third in the friday series is the funniest movie of the three. The first two were very boring and had very little laughs in them but the third is hillarious in places. Thank god Chris Tucker was not in this one as he was dreadfull in the first Friday Movie. I recommend "Friday after next" but for real side splitting knockout funny comedy check out "Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the Hood" starring the fantastic Wayans Brothers.