Wholesale and Distribution Movie Reviews


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Family movie reviews for "Wholesale and Distribution" sorted by average review score:

Adventures of Fu Manchu
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (21 January, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Directors: William Witney and Franklin Adreon
Average review score:

This will have to do for now...
Here we are presented with several episodes revolving around the infamous Fu Manchu. Considering the age of the show the picture quality is quite good and the plots are serviceable, but as has been pointed out before, anyone expecting to recognize the Fu Manchu of literature will be sadly dissapointed.
Hopefully, one day soon we will see the series of Fu Manchu movies made in the 1960s find their way onto DVD, Based on the actual books and given a decent budget those features would easily find a way into my collection.

WHEN WILL FILM PRODUCER'S DO RIGHT BY FU???
First off, let me say this is a nice dvd. The picture is quite good considering the age of the show, there are a few rough spots to the prints used, but overall it's a pleasing picture. The sound is ok, too. There are no extras to speak of, except for a catalogue of other Alpha Video titles to look through. Now for the shows themselves. This is a terrible show! The acting is amateurish and the stories are dull and boring! Which is a pity. Sax Rohmer wrote some great novels featuring the devil doctor ("THE BRIDE OF FU MANCHU", "THE HAND OF FU MANCHU", "THE DRUMS OF FU MANCHU", "THE ISLAND OF FU MANCHU" and "SHADOW OF FU MANCHU" being the best) but no film producers have ever adapted his stories for the screen. With this series (produced by Republic Pictures) it appears the writers had never read the books and are only vaguely aware of what Fu Manchu is all about. For example, in one episode on this disc, Dr. Fu joins forces with Adolph Hitler to wreck vengeance on the world. Now anyone who has read the books knows that in "THE DRUMS OF FU MANCHU" (published in 1939) we find out that Fu hates war and has a plot to assassinate Hitler, which good old (or dumb old) Nayland Smith tries to stop! But the hack writers of this show, probably unable to read, were not aware of this fact and just figured, well heck, Fu is evil, Hitler was evil, let's have them join forces. DUMB! Still, if you enjoy Rohmer's work and Fu, you might enjoy this disc. It's good for a few laughs anyhow and it shows what a good writer ole Sax was and how lousy many of Hollywood writers were in the Golden Age of TV. - George Bauch.

Classic TV - The Fu Manchu Series from 1956
Four episodes from the original 1956 TV Series is in BW and unclear in certain frames, but overall a very good transfer with good story lines. Episodes include 1) The Golden Egg of Dr Fu Manchu (henchmen sent to kill wife), 2) The Master Plan (revives Hitler), 3) The Death Ships (deadly germ cultures), 4) The Prisoner of Dr Fu Manchu (deadly serum at the Conference of Nations).


After Sex
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (27 November, 2001)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Cameron Thor
Average review score:

RUN NOW!
Save your money and invest in a Pet Rock. You'd get amusement from it than you will from this dreadful film. I picked it up at a Blockbuster previously viewed movie sale. Thank god it was only 1.99. And now I know why. IT'S AWFUL. I honestly tried to watch this movie, but I had to fast forward through most of it because of the insipid dialogue and trite premise. It tries to come off as a serio-comic romance, but it's boring, predictable and trite. If you come across it, lie very still and it may just sniff you and leave you alone. If it doesn't, may God take mercy on your mortal soul.

You knew it before you see it.
I know everyone who watched this movie wouldn't like to comment on it because of the title of this movie. But I'd like to take the plunge and be the first person to review it.

I accidentaly knew this movie from an ad on a portal site of South Korea, which was Brooke Shields with a cigar. She is famous and popular in my country, so I wanted to watch this for a try.

This movie is for mature audiences, but not so-called an adult movie. You can't expect a stuff except a slight upper-body one. That's usually good for most viewers.

For the content? It's just what men and women are all about for the ages in this movie. You knew it before you will see this. If you'd like to know it, you don't have to know it.

If you have time and nothing to do, it would be an option to watch this movie. But it would be better for you to watch other better movies, if you'd choose to watch a DVD/VHS.

Just watching your familiar actresses will be fine and that's all. I don't know how familiar they are because I can't watch U.S. TV series except very famous ones in my country.

It's up to you how you spend your leisure time.

Serious Spackled With Comedy
I actually really enjoyed this movie--a lot. I throw this movie into the category of the successor to those relationship movies such as About Last Night and St. Elmo's Fire, but with a somewhat lighter tone. I thought the ending was well done. The characters and their situations felt real. I don't want to give parts of this movie away, but there are a few interactions with the guys that I found hilarious.

I wish the DVD had more features--actually, any features. Apparently, they did not want to spend a lot of time to put any of those special DVD perks before they shipped it out.


Alan Jackson - Greatest Hits 2
Released in DVD by Bmg Distribution (VI (09 September, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Starring: Alan Jackson
Average review score:

ONLY 6 VIDEO'S ?!
There is no text referring to how many video's are on this ALAN JACKSON GREATEST HITS 2 DVD, (or which ones for that matter). 6, Yes that's it, 6. You might think that all the video's that were made of the songs on the CD would be on this DVD. Nope.
(The cover art on the DVD and CD are the same, somewhat misleading).

The video's include 1-It's Five O'Clock Somewhere. 2-I'll Go On Loving You. 3-Little Bitty. 4-It's Alright To Be A Redneck (which isn't on the CD). 5-When Somebody Loves You. 6-Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning).
Where are the video's for DRIVE (FOR DADDY GENE), WWW.MEMORY, WHO'S CHEATIN' WHO? Or any of the others. True this is a low price, however I still feel cheated. I would have been willing to pay more to have all the video's since the 1st GREATEST HITS COLLECTION. Which is another DVD I would like to see out, (providing all the songs will be included like the VHS version).

Greatest Hits Video Collection 1 and 1/2
I think it is great that another Video Collection has been released. I just would have thought that the newest release, would have picked up where the first Collection ended. And I would have thought the first Collection would have been released on DVD by now also. I guess we have to wait until after the first of the year for the rest of the videos?

Only six video's on new dvd
As a European Alan Jackson fan it's not easy to see your star. Only once a year during the CMA awards on BBC. So i was surprised when there was this new DVD greatest video hits vol. 2. I was dissapointed by the fact that there where only six video's on this dvd. Oké the price is absolute cheap. but why not put all the video's on one dvd? there's time enough for this. The same trouble we had last year with Tim McGraw greatest hits dvd (only 9). But what is on this dvd is great good sound (5.1) is clear pics. Let's wait for part two. Oh and it's region free, compattable in European (R2) players.


British Intelligence
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (18 March, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Terry O. Morse
Starring: Boris Karloff and Margaret Lindsay
Average review score:

Fun Espionage Thriller
It's no classic, but Karloff fans will like this "B" picture full of twists and turns as you try to figure out just who's the good guy and who's the bad guy.

Best of all it's short and to the point. A virtue that Hollywood seems to be lacking these days.

British, German, and Double Agents
Set during the last part of World War I, this spy thriller begins with the frustrations of the British military over the way the Germans seem to know their next move before they even do. It's obvious there is a spy or leak somewhere that needs to be stopped if they are to have any success in the War. Boris Karloff and Margaret Lindsay enter into the picture. Individually or together, they could be British agents, German agents, or double agents, and the true identity of each is revealed at the climax. The two spies test each other throughout the film as a plot to kill the British cabinet begins to unfold. The film moves along briskly, with a running time of around an hour. I have to admit that I was occasionally confused by the plot, although by the film's final moments I had figured it all out. Karloff, limping and with a scar, is good as the more sinister (naturally) of the two agents, while Lindsay does a competent job as his female counterpart. The last few minutes are devoted to rallying the public at the outset of World War Two when this was produced, with a poorly concealed speech about Hitler. It's definitely heavy handed, yet it is fun to watch as a sign of the time. Judging by the running time, the cast involved, and the production, this film was obviously intended as a 'B' picture, and as a modest little programmer, it succeeds fairly well. Those expecting a bigger scale production will be disappointed.

Margaret Lindsay tries to trap German spy Boris Karloff
"British Intelligence" is set during World War I, when Helene von Lorbeer (Margaret Lindsay), a nurse in a French hospital, assumes the role of a German spy and is sent to England to obtain information about a secret British offensive. Helene is set up as a guest in the household of Arthur Bennett (Holmes Herbert), a key British war official, where the butler Valdar (Boris Karloff), is also a German spy. Helene's real mission is to learn the identity of Schiller, the mastermind fo the German spy system in England. This 1940 film, directed by Terry Morse, is based on Anthony Paul Kelly's play "Three Faces East," which had been filmed in 1926 with Clive Brook and Jetta Goudal and then again in 1930 with Eric von Stroheim and Constance Bennett. Of course Karloff has to wear a unnecessary wound on his face, supposedly from a bayonet, and walks with a limp. But actually this is a decent spy thriller, even if the true identity of "Schiller" is obvious from the opening credits. Although explicitly about the First World War, there are several veiled but obvious references to Hitler and what is happening in Europe in 1940.


Dr. Kildare's Strange Case
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (16 April, 2002)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Harold S. Bucquet
Average review score:

Be Glad You're not a Patient in This Hospital
I watched all of the Dr. Kildare movies as a child, and I was surprised to find out that they weren't as good as I remembered them being. However, "Dr. Kildare's Strange Case" reminds me of a less complicated time when science seemed to hold all of the answers. Those who remember earnest young Dr. Kildare, crusty Dr. Gillespie, and pretty Mary Lamont will find this movie worth watching, just as old friends are still worth talking to, even when we've outgrown them. The plot is rather absurd--a patient goes insane after brain surgery, and the surgeon (who has recently had a lot of patients die) is blamed. Aided and abetted by his girlfriend, Mary Lamont, Dr. Kildare induces insulin shock in the patient (not considered a valid treatment for years, but don't blame the scriptwriters--at that time it was). Miraculously, the patient survives and the brain surgeon is exonerated. Even more miraculously, Dr. Kildare and Mary Lamont escape charges of attempted murder and even keep their jobs.

Pleasant, but only just that
Lightweight, predictable (will the patient
with the mystery disease pull through? Will Kildare
hook up with the nurse?), hokey,
but not without some charm. Has some unintentionally
funny moments, and one can only thank God that
medical ethics have progressed since 1940
(that is if you believe the film accurately
reflects those of its period). Still, it's
reasonably entertaining, if not exactly classic
material.

The print used for the film in reasonably good
shape, except for some moderate damage at the reel
changes. Some rain lines, too, but very few scratches
or nicks. A couple of very minor video glitches.
The picture wasn't particularly sharp, but still
mostly OK. They could have put more effort into
the video transfer. The audio was decent.

In short a so-so transfer for a so-so
film. Still, when you take the price into consideration,
it's worth seeing....

Not bad for an old flick
I am a medical student collecting movies about the medical field. I enjoyed this movie for a couple simple reasons: It is full of amusing stereotypes, has some hilarious scenes on insulin shock therapy that would make a modern doc cringe, and Lionel Barrymore is a great actor! I think I will look for more movies with this funny old fellow.

The movie is about a Young Dr. Kildare (Lew Ayres) who is doing a residency at Blair General. He is in love with a nurse(Laraine Day) (of course!) and she can't stand the thought of not being married (my oh my), like the older Head Nurse of the hospital. Anyway, Dr. Kildare doesn't earn much as a resident (yup) so he figures he can't afford to get married right now. This little love story goes on around an incident with a Dr. Lane, a surgeon who is having bad luck with a string of dying patients. Dr. Kildare tries to save Dr. Lane's reputation by convincing the hospital that it isn't Dr. Lane's skills that are lacking. In the end, Dr. Kildare wins the admiration of the hospital, Dr. Lane, his residency director Lionel Barrymore), and of course the nurse.

Apparently there are 15 flicks about Dr. Kildare. This one is the 4th of 15. They follow the idealist young doctor as he emerges from medical school and eventually becomes an accomplished and confident doctor. I would like to see the other movies as well, but this is the only one on DVD right now.

Following the string of 15 movies, there was a t.v. series about Dr. Kildare that ran for a few years when t.v. was new.


Dragon 4 Pack
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (22 July, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Starring: Bruce Li and Bruce Le
Average review score:

DO NOT ENTER the DRAGON 4 Pack!!!!!
This 4 pack is really a 1 pack meaning that there is only 1 dvd inside and not 4. Each side of the disc contains 2 movies and no extras. The movies are presented in full screen and are NOT remastered. Instead, the video quality is blurry and scratchy and the audio goes down and out at times. This is because the movies here have been transferred from old VHS copies and onto this DVD. Normally, I don't mind watching these types of films in full screen and in less than mint condition because I know that sometimes that's all that is available (some of the original prints have been lost or are not presently on the market for remastering), but this disc is unwatchable. Most of the action scenes are so cropped that you can only see arms and legs or one person in the frame where originally you would have seen two whole bodies. How can you enjoy an action film when you can't SEE the action?!!! I've seen the Bruce Li movie that's on this DVD before on VHS and it wasn't as fuzzy as it is here so I know that that film is available in better condition elsewhere, and I'm sure the others are too since they're pretty famous Bruce-Lee-a-like titles. Wait until you find them available as separate titles which usually means better picture quality. Don't waste your money like I did!
If you like Bruce Li, I highly recommend the film IRON DRAGON STRIKES BACK which has recently been made available on DVD and can be found at video stores for rent or to purchase. It's a very good showcase for the underrated Ho Ching Tao (Bruce Li's real name) giving him a suspenseful, modern day story that is much more original than any of his Bruce Lee imitation titles and lets him display his above par martial arts skill and acting.

AN OK COLLECTION OF BRUCEPLOITATION FLICKS
THIS DVD WHICH FEATURES BRUCE LEE'S IMITATORS WAS RELEASED FOR THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF BRUCE LEE'S UNTIMELY DEATH. THIS DVD HAS 4 MOVIES. SIDE A HAS ''BRUCE LEE'S DEADLY KUNG FU'' AND ''BRUCE'S FIST OF VENGEANCE'' WHILE SIDE B HAS ''THE CLONES OF BRUCE LEE'' AND ''THE BIG BOSS II''. HERE'S MY OPINION ON ALL THESE FLICKS;

SIDE A

''BRUCE LEE'S DEADLY KUNG FU'' -3 STARS- BEST MOVIE ON THE WHOLE DVD. TWO MEN BECOME THE TARGETS OF A LOCAL GANG. SUPRISINGLY, BRUCE LI WAS GOOD IN THIS MOVIE. THIS IS A HUGE STEP UP IN THE ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT FOR BRUCE LI. FINALLY, BRUCE LI MANAGES TO HAVE AN ACCEPTABLE MOVIE. TOO BAD I CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR MANY OF HIS OTHER MOVIES.

''BRUCE'S FIST OF VENGEANCE'' -2.5 STARS- A MARTIAL ARTS INSTRUCTOR [BRUCE LE] IS THE TARGET OF A CRIME BOSS WHO WANTS A RARE BRUCE LEE BOOK THAT THE INSTRUCTOR POSSESSES. FAR FROM THE QUALITY OF THE REAL BRUCE LEE, BUT, I'VE SEEN MUCH WORSE.

SIDE B

''THE CLONES OF BRUCE LEE'' -1.5 STARS- AFTER BRUCE LEE DIES, A SCIENTIST MAKES 3 CLONES OF BRUCE LEE. STRAIGHT UP STUPID AND BORING. THE CLONES ARE PLAYED BY DRAGON LEE, BRUCE LE, AND BRUCE LAI. JUST A SERIES OF POINTLESS FIGHTS. I KNOW THE REAL BRUCE LEE WOULD BE MAD IF HE WERE ALIVE TO SEE HIS GREAT NAME BEING USED TO SELL BS MOVIES LIKE THIS.

''BIG BOSS II'' -2 STARS- A CHINESE MAN [DRAGON LEE] SETS OUT TO GET REVENGE FOR HIS MURDERED FATHER. THIS IN-NAME ONLY SEQUEL TO THE FISTS OF FURY IS SO-SO AT BEST, BUT, WHAT BRINGS IT DOWN IS ITS PLOT. IT'S BEEN DONE TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE.

OVERALL RATING; 3 STARS

AN OK COLLECTION. NOTHING SPECIAL, BUT IT'S OK. I WOULDN'T REALLY RECCOMEND THIS TO MARTIAL ARTS FANS. UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF THE BRUCE LEE WANNABES. IF YOU'RE EXPECTING TO SEE 4 EPIC MARTIAL ARTS FILMS, PUT THIS DVD BACK ON THE SHELF RIGHT NOW! FOR REAL, IT IS TRULY A SHAME HOW MANY DIRECTORS HAVE TRYED TO USE BRUCE LEE'S NAME TO MARKET BS MOVIES.

Value for money!
These are not the best films to honor Bruce Lee by a long shot,but they have their place in the history of the Lee legend.
Included are the following films-
1-B.L.'s Deadly Kung Fu-featuring Bruce Li and a young Hwang Jang Lee(Drunken Master).The plot merges elements from Lee's real life with pieces from Way of the Dragon.The combo is unque and action packed,especially the ending.
2-Big Boss 2-Features Dragon Lee.The supporting cast is strong with Bolo Yeung,Philip Ko and Cheung Nick.Lots of action.
3-Bruce's Fist of Vengeance-features Bruce Le. He is a bit annoying and the story is non-existent.But fighting is plentiful, albeit(unintentionally)comical.Le is stiff and robotic compared even to other Lee impersonators.
4-Clones of Bruce Lee-By far the funniest film ever released in the genre.From the premise,to the sets,to the action scenes, this film is a laugh riot.One clip in paticular has a villian testing out some Bronzemen,where they get whacked over the head repeatedly with an iron bar.It should be re-named 3 Dragon Stooges.Great stuff!

All of these films played in theatres 25 years ago,and they packed audiences in.Films like these did keep Bruce Lee's name in the public eye for quite a few years,so they did serve their purpose.

Overall the disc is cheap and you will definitely get your money's worth(under five dollars a film).

My suggestion is to get a few bags of popcorn and enjoy over a weekend with similar minded friends.


Evel Knievel
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (19 March, 2002)
MPAA Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Director: Marvin J. Chomsky
Average review score:

Cool film, horrible DVD
I agree with the previous review. This is a very cool film of the early 70's, clearly designed to promote Evel and his planned jump of the Grand Canyon (he had to settle for the Snake River Canyon in Idaho instead.) But this is quite simply the worst DVD transfer I have ever seen. The video quality is terrible. For a few bucks you might consider snatching this up, but don't expect much quality wise. On the other hand, this is my favorite George Hamilton performance, although he doesn't really look like Evel, he really nails the performance. John Milius co-wrote the script early in his career.

Evel Knievel Yes! This DVD No!
I have always liked this movie. It stars George Hamilton in the role of Evel Knievel. Actual Footage of Evel Knievel jumps are included in this biographical story. Perhaps the most famous of his jumps is the one from Ceasar's Palace in Las Vegas, it is included here in all of its busted up glory.

The only reason I have not to buy this movie is the horrific transfer to DVD. A bad scratchy print was used, washed out color, no state of the art sound and it is not in the widescreen format. Maybe someday a good transfer will be made, until then I wouldn't get your hopes up on this one!

A True American Hero
This film is a true classic and captures the magic that was Evel Knievel. George Hamilton does a fantastic job portraying Knievel as a larger than life icon--a true American Hero. This is a must see for ALL Knievel or Hamilton fans.


The Fear Chamber
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (03 September, 2002)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Directors: Jack Hill and Juan Ibáñez
Average review score:

Very Minor Karloff Vehicle
Dr. Carl Mantel (played by Boris Karloff), an American resident in Mexico, is the world's foremost geo-biologist. He has developed a theory that rock-based forms of life may have developed near the Earth's core and may have been displaced closer to the surface over time. After recording puzzling electronic emanations from a cave complex near an active volcano, Dr. Mantel dispatches his daughter, Corinne, and his research assistant, Mark, to investigate. Corinne and Mark discover what appears to be a rock formation imbued with interior life.

Several months later: Luisa Martinez, a woman lodging at the Beneficent Foundation for Young Girls, wakes up to find that her bed has been transported to an eerie underground region, full of snakes and spiders and leering maniacs. She attempts to flee, only to stumble upon a black magic ritual, during which the head of the coven sacrifices a girl to Satan. The coven leader is Dr. Mantel, and the other members of the group include Corinne, Mark, and Helga, another one of the doctor's assistants. Then Luisa is captured and brought to the altar. As the knife descends, she faints. . . .

And the Satanists strip off their robes to don surgical gowns! They quickly take the unconscious Luisa to an adjacent operating room, where they drain much of her blood. It seems the rock-thing requires certain human hormones to survive'hormones that are secreted only in a state of extreme terror. So Helga has created a psychodrama to induce fear, with victims chosen from the girls at the phony Beneficent Foundation.

Luisia is released the next morning, believing that her experiences in the Fear Chamber were simply part of a nightmare. But the rock-thing, which has been able to establish a partial electronic communication with Mantel's group, demands even more blood.

So another young woman, Sally Random, is selected as the next 'donor'. However, Sally is a thief who has come to the Foundation for larcenous purposes. One night, as she roams the Foundation, looking for items to steal, she blunders into the room where the rock-thing resides. The rock-thing extends a tentacle and attacks, draining her of all her blood.

As a result of this mishap, Dr. Mantel decides to terminate the experiment, but before he can do so, he suffers a mild stroke. While he is recovering, Corinne and Mark leave for a romantic excursion. Helga secretly continues to feed the rock-thing, first with an exotic dancer brought to the Foundation, then with a woman seized at random from a nearby road. Helga is assisted in these nefarious misdeeds by a hulking brute named Roland.

Eventually, Roland comes to believe that the rock-thing is communicating directly with his mind. He feeds Helga to the creature, then sets off in search of a supposed diamond treasure in the caverns near the volcano. Dr. Mantel realizes he has to eliminate the rock-thing somehow, and with some timely assistance from Corinne and Mark, he manages to regress the monster to its original state and then destroy it.

Fear Chamber is a Mexican horror title, one of the last efforts Boris Karloff worked on before he died. The production qualities are low, and the story verges on incoherence at times. Worth watching once'maybe.

Boris Karloff sacrifices young girls to feed living rock...
Boris Karloff plays Dr. Carl Mandel, a scientist who picks up on strange frequencies coming from within the Earth. Mandel ends up discovering living rock that lives underneath a volcano. However, when they bring the rock back to the lab, Mandel and his assistants also discover the living rock feeds off of the hormones produced by humans when they are afraid. Being dedicated scientists, Mandel and his assistants kidnap young girls to sacrifice to the living rock. There are some unintentionally hysterical moments in this film from Yerye Beirute as Roland.

"The Torture Chamber," known as "The Fear Chamber" and "La Camara del terror," is one of the four films Boris Karloff made more Mexican producer Luis Vergara. Because of his emphysema, all of Karloff's scenes for the four films were shot in Hollywood during a five-week period in 1968 before the crews returned to Mexico to complete the films. This film, directed by Jack Hill and Juan Ibanez, was released in 1971. While all of these films are pretty bad, this one is definitely the worst of the bunch. You would be better served tracking down one of Karloff's lesser-known horror films from the early part of his career like "The Ape" instead.

clap trap that turned into a masterpiece
I saw this movie late at night when I was young and it thrilled me and tittillated me. Even though I was young, I knew that this was low budget and thought it a joke. Only years later did I realize the absolute treasure that it is. It fits into the genre of "So bad its good". I really recommened this movie for a late late Saturday night. Just as I viewed when I was young It has contrived gratuitous devises in it such as the stripper that is eaten by the monster that make this a unique and twisted thriller. 5 stars!


I Eat Your Skin
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (18 February, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Starring: William Joyce
Average review score:

It's horrible, but not in the way you might think
Oh, brother. We'd better start with the title of this movie. There is in fact no skin eaten by anyone at any time in this movie; in other words, the title makes no sense whatsoever. Some people seem to like the title; while it certainly gets your attention, I don't think it necessarily makes you want to pick this title up. Even I, a self-proclaimed epicure in the terrible, put off watching this monstrosity of a movie for some time because of the title; now, I Eat Your Heart or even I Eat Your Liver would make me eager to experience a movie; I Eat Your Skin just puts me off. So what's the story here? Well, for no reason I can figure out, Harris, a playboy author of adventure books that read more like trashy romance novels, is invited to accompany his agent to Voodoo Island in the Caribbean-it would make a great setting for his next novel, he is told. The place sounds less than glorious to me: poisonous snakes all over the place, natives practicing voodoo and human sacrifice, so-called zombies running amuck. When Harris' agent gets to the part about a female to male ratio of five to one, though, our hero is all gangbusters to go. After a harrowing beach landing, Harris is attacked by a zombie and watches him slice the head off of a fisherman (there's one good thing about the movie, at least). The gang eventually makes it to the home of a doctor working on a cure for cancer using snake venom. Harris immediately puts the move on the guy's daughter, but then zombies try to run off with his new girl. From that point on, it's man versus zombie.

The ending of this movie, like the rest of it, is quite ridiculous. The sound of airplane tires squealing on sand and the fact that Harris' thoroughly drenched gun fires perfectly well are early clues to an utter disrespect for logic in this script. There are also far too many minutes of natives jerking spasmodically around doing the voodoo that they do so well. The zombies are rather impressive, though (although the transformations from human to zombie we have to watch a couple of times leave something to be desired). Their faces are all scabrous with skin peeling away all over the place, and they really do have bugged-out eyes, looking as if they each have two boiled eggs slapped across their faces.

I'm sure that zombie lovers will find some enjoyment here, but I wasn't overly impressed. All I got out of this movie was some unintended comedy. For instance, with a horde of zombies close on their heels, the men tell the women to stay there at the edge of the jungle while they go down and get the plane ready. Guess what happens to the women? Then there is the inexplicable yet very fortuitous appearance of a boat on the island just when it is most needed; even one of the characters asks "Where'd that boat come from?" Can you say deus ex machina? Between the loopy story and Harris' frequent attempts to woo the ladies with atrocious pick-up lines, I wanted this movie to end before it really even got started.

Very Bizarre little B-Movie
Well, I would have never seen this little flick if not for two of my friends. They were at a mall, shopping for DVDs and they saw the title... Instantly they thought of me, which really worries me...

But, not one to waste a free DVD, I watched this immediately. It's entertaining, to be sure, but it is really BAD. The acting, the writing, those good ol' "Special" effects. Awful, all of them, which, I think, is the reason it's so entertaining.

The zombies are great. They look as if they're covered in scrambled eggs.

But the best thing, of course, is the score. Why did they give it a "James Bond"-ish score? I don't know but it works!

My only problem is a story point: It's not a musical. If it had been, it would've been a five, easily. Alas, it's not, so it's only a three...

Sorry, No Skin Eating Here!
This is without a doubt, my favorite bug-eyed zombie movie! Del Tenney has done it again! If you are a shlock horror fanatic like me, you'll love this voodoo cheeselog! Plot?? Ok, a pulp fiction writer crash-lands on the beach of voodoo island. He's accompanied by his snobby friend and his annoying, bubble headed wife (who quite astonishingly survives to the end). While going through the jungle, he witnesess a decapitation at the hands of a mysterious zombie who looks like someone stapled his eyelids open.Turns out, there's a mad scientist on the island, who tried curing cancer with radiated snake venom, but ended up with an army of zombies instead. Wait, it gets better! There's a voodoo priest who uses the zombies to murder anyone who gets in his way. The hero of the film is a tough, macho, sex maniac, who smirks his way through the perils around him. I especially enjoyed his "stories by the pool", told to legions of fawning, bikini-clad fem-bots! I won't spoil this classic by giving away the ending. If you like ultra-cheese, this one's for you! Highly recommended...


Impact
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (18 March, 2003)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Director: Arthur Lubin
Starring: Brian Donlevy, Ella Raines, and Charles Coburn
Average review score:

Starts out 40s noir, ends up 30s melodrama
Impact shows great promise in its first half, when industrialist Brian Donleavy's wife (Helen Walker -- the psychologist in Nightmare Alley) gets up to some homicidal duplicity. It's hard-core noir all the way, especially when push comes to shove on a dangerous mountain road. But then Donleavy ends up in Larkspur, Idaho, apparently suffering from amnesia, and falls for a girl mechanic. From here on in the tone grows sentimental and "women's-picture"-ish. When the climax comes, everybody seems suddenly to start behaving like imbeciles. There's enjoyable moments in Impact, but it's too compromised to be vintage noir.

Pretty entertaining
Totally implausible film noir but complex & entertaining nonetheless. Bear in mind its a Wade Williams release which ain't exactly Criterion. Picture quality is good; sound is so-so. The 4-star, rave review on the box is written by....Wade Williams.

Watch This Film And You Won't Be Sorry!
Impact has a very simple plot Walter Williams is marked for death by his cheating wife but when the plans go wrong and Williams is alive the film plays a great game of catchup! Donlevy is the star of the flick and he does more to draw you into the flick than dialogue ever could. He may not be tall but he has an imposing facing! His eyes and strong facial structure is a sight to see! I have to say that the film could have been shorter but in doing this some amazing cinematography would have been lost the image of a prisoned Willams (Donlevey) looking through a gate at his future love is amazing and the scene where his lover chases a woman who is crucial in freeing Williams of a crime through the narrow streets and shadows of chinatown is perfection. Impact may not be perfect but is is a very atmospheric and engaging ride non the least!


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