Wholesale and Distribution Movie Reviews


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Family movie reviews for "Wholesale and Distribution" sorted by average review score:

Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (27 August, 2002)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: Roy William Neill
Starring: Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce
Average review score:

"Secret Wepons for sail!"
Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce are exelent as ever in their roles as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson. Once again, Sherlock Holmes is up against his faverate enemy. This time they must have a battle of wits while trying to get a bombsight. Not the best instolment in the searies. The plot is weak at points but hold with the humor. Rathbone does a good resighting of a William Shakespeare quote at the end.

The Needle to the Last, eh Holmes?
It's one of the paradoxes of Basil Rathbone's wartime anti-Nazi Sherlock Holmes films (Voice of Terror, SH in Washington, and this one) that while the plots and settings are mostly terrible, he is so good in them. Despite a bizarre wind-swept hairstyle meant to make him look younger, he blazes through every scene with so much bite and attack that you hardly register how flimsy the plots are. Here he also has great acting rapport with Lionel Atwill, who makes a wonderfully repulsive Professor Moriarty -- a heavy lidded cockroach with nice hints of sadism and depravity (it may not have been acting, kids). At the climax, changed into a lab coat in order to drain Rathbone's blood "drop by drop," he's as over-the-top sinister as Seinfeld's arch-nemesis Newman. The movie itself is ancient kiddie matinee fare, but it benefits from director Roy William Neill's attention to staging and atmosphere. It also looks fairly sharp in this UCLA restoration -- don't even think of buying any other edition, all of them faded, choppy public-domain prints.

This Version will be better than Any previously available.
I am frustrated that reviews of past DVD releases of this title are listed under this upcoming restored version. This is ludicrous and laziness on the part of someone!!! How can a review be asking customers to not buy this edition when it hasn't even been released to the public yet!! Furthermore it slams the quality of an upcoming RESTORED VERSION. WAKE UP!!!!!
I am writing this pre-review to express my Great Expectations and excitement over the upcoming DVD release of the 14 Sherlock Holmes movies made by Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce.
For those of us who have loved and worn out our VHS versions of these films, I am sure that I speak for many of us in expressing incredible anticipation and near shock that someone has finally recognized the need to release a "restored version" of these timeless classics.
We are told that they have been "Preserved and restored in 35mm by the UCLA Film and Television Archive." This is marvelous and I have already pre-ordered Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 from MPI Home Video.
I so hope that the entire 14 movies, are ultimately released in restored condition. Especially the rarest of them, "The Scarlet Claw" which has rarely been shown on televison and only been available on VHS sporadically.
To me and many others I know, Basil Rathbone is the definative Holmes. Not just because he looks alarmingly similar -as much as is humanly possible- to Sidney Pagets drawings of Holmes from the Strand Magazine illustrations, but mostly we love Rathbone because he portrayed the same Holmes that we as readers get through the buffer of Dr. Watson explaining away not magnifying Holmes' shortcomings.
Jeremy Brett chose to amplify every negative aspect of Holmes' personality that in the written versions Watson explained away. Rathbone's Holmes has been demeaned visciously over the past years and hopefully the respect and dignity that he gave his portrayals will be seen in all their accuracy and glory with these new digitally restored releases. ... these will have to be the best quality versions of these classics ever released...so for all of us who have cursed the incomprehensibly awful releases of these films over the years...our time has almost come. Show your support for this effort by ordering a restored version of American Film Histroy.
Much Thanks to UCLA, MPI, and Whoever was ultimately responsible for the idea of doing this!!!!


Attack of the Giant Leeches
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (27 August, 2002)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Director: Bernard L. Kowalski
It's hard to say whether this is a low-rent Southern Gothic melodrama or a monster movie; it seems that director Bernard Kowalski couldn't make up his mind which genre to pursue. A local poacher turns up in the swamp half-dead with sucker marks all over his body. Soon after, a fat slob bartender (Corman regular Bruno VeSota) finds his hottie of a wife making out with her boyfriend and forces them into the swamp at gunpoint. From there, the two become a leech snack. When more people disappear in the bayou, the local game warden and resident scientist (isn't there always one, regardless of how remote the place is?) take it seriously and discover the monstrous bloodsuckers. Despite the grade-Z trappings of this movie, threadbare plot, and ludicrous monsters, there are still some chilling and effective moments, such as the scene where doomed victims of the leeches are left to watch in horror as their attackers approach in their lair. The mutated leeches are a result of radiation (but of course). At a scant 62-minute running time, this is some prime drive-in trash, and it's over with before you even have a chance to get sick of it. --Jerry Renshaw
Average review score:

Leeches, Chills, and Chortles!
Fans of fifties creature features should enjoy this smarmy swamp saga about vampirish predators that keep captives in caves to suffer lingering, sucked-dry deaths. The monsters are fearsomely fun, the hero hairy-chested and handsome, the leading lady clingy and lovely, and the leading non-lady cleavaged and vampily luscious. The scripting is tolerably sensible, and the acting and direction are above average for this sort of cinema. In its day, this movie's gruesome mutants and waterborne dead bodies would have seemed more grisly than gleeful. But today, both adjectives can be applied in abundance!

Faux-Corman masterpiece.
Yvette Vickers and her tube of lotion make this a must-have.

Black and White Fun!
It is silly and incredibly tacky but this is a truly fun 50s drive in flick. A beautiful damsel , silly music, terrible acting and very silly montsters ... but if y ou like campy movies, don't miss this!! No true violence or foul language, it is safe fun for everyone! Keep the lights on, tho there are some genuinely scary parts if you let yourself get into it! For fans of drive in movies only. Great fun!


East Side Kids - Spooks Run Wild
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (04 June, 2002)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Director: Phil Rosen
Average review score:

Campy, harmless fun
This entry in the Eastside Kids series finds the boys at a country summer camp for inner-city troublemakers. One of them gets hurt and they wind up in a house "haunted" by Bela Lugosi.
Production values are low (typical Monogram) but the fun factor is high as Bela chases the boys around for 2 or 3 reels until the rather disappointing finale.
Best for fans of the Eastside Kids/Bowery Boys or Bela Lugosi but B-movie fans should also enjoy it.

Good poverty row comedy
Lugosi plays it straight and the Boys ham it up. Just what you'd xpect. Good fun

Excellent spook classic!
Once again the boys (East Side Kids/Bowery Boys/Dead End Kids) hit the target on the bullseye. I remember seeing Spooks Run Wild on late night T.V. when I was younger. I was waiting up to see the classic Cushing/Price/Lee (Hammer mostly) films that came on late on Friday nights (I believe it was Night Flight)....once upon a time. I didnt get what I expected, instead I got this comedy that cracked me up. It reminded me of The Three Stooges/Abbott & Costello/Little Rascals........with a spooky twist. I've always loved those old horror comedies.......the way they show fear is always a winner. Hopefully Roan Group (Yep, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma fame....Toxic Avenger for the Lamen) will re-release this one as well, like Ghosts On The Loose. It will be more expensive, however like all of the Roan/Troma releases it will be packed with quality & extras. Fun for the whole family!


Girls Gone Wild Extreme
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (31 July, 2002)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Average review score:

Boring
Seen one flashing you've seen them all. Not worth your time or money.

ON CAMPUS 2
Well, this is another example of the late GGW videos. Only topless flashing is featured in this DVD. Nothing breaks the monotony of the breasts. Is not worth buying. What happenned to the winning formula of the first GGW DVDs?

Going Going Gone Wild
The intrepid manner in which this documentarian formulates his ouvre in this, the latest episode of a genre which he can call his own, is impressive. Still, the bit with the horse shoes was, in my view, uncalled for. How do they defy gravity, anyway?


Girls Gone Wild: On Campus 2
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (18 March, 2003)
MPAA Rating:
Average review score:

Boring
Seen one flashing you've seen them all. Not worth your time or money.

ON CAMPUS 2
Well, this is another example of the late GGW videos. Only topless flashing is featured in this DVD. Nothing breaks the monotony of the breasts. Is not worth buying. What happenned to the winning formula of the first GGW DVDs?

Going Going Gone Wild
The intrepid manner in which this documentarian formulates his ouvre in this, the latest episode of a genre which he can call his own, is impressive. Still, the bit with the horse shoes was, in my view, uncalled for. How do they defy gravity, anyway?


Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
Released in DVD by Gotham Distribution (21 January, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: William Beaudine
Average review score:

Bela Lugosi meets Martin and Lewis, sort of.
This little movie isn't as bad as the title and cast might suggest. Duke Mitchell is no Dean Martin, but Sammy Petrillo does a credible imitation of a young Jerry Lewis. Whether Petrillo's performance is satire or just a blatant rip-off is up to the viewer. The humor is simple-minded, but occasionally hilarious. Charlita (as if anyone recognizes the name) does a passable imitation of Dorothy Lamour in revealing (for 1952) South Sea togs. Bela Lugosi with a twinkle in his eye spoofs his own horror movie character as Dr. Zabor. This flick was made a year or so before Bela fell into the clutches of the infamous Ed Wood. Sadly, it emphasizes Bela's troubled downward spiral career path. Veteran low budget director William Beaudine competently puts the cast through the paces. Artistically (to use an unlikely term), the flick is on the same level as Beaudine's Bowery Boys movies. Filmed in glorious B&W, the low cost DVD edition features a clear transfer and acceptable audio. It's harmless "G" rated fun. From here on, you are on your own. ;-)

Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla
I just bought this DVD not too long ago (reluctantly) only because I am a HUGE Lugosi fan. So, to my great surprise, I thought the film was cute. Number one, I do not feel that Lugosi's role was a let down. I thought that he seemed to be having fun. Number two, Sammy and Duke do a good job, considering that they couldn't have been much older than me (which would be 21). And number three, I over all enjoyed the film. The references to Dracula seemed to amuse Lugosi, and they amused me as well. Try not to judge this film too harshly. I guess each one has his own opinion, so you must see it to make a formed, individual opinion about this film.

Funny Lugosi Film
This film is low budgeted but nicely done. It was shot mostly inside a studio set. It is a comedy and succeeeds at it. Other films of this nature try to be serious and end up pathethically laughable. This is not so here. Pertrillo's Jerry Lewis antics is funny although may appear forced in a few instances.He would have probably been better at it had not Jerry Lewis pre-empted him to this looney character type. Duke Mitchell plays the straight man, a la Dean Martin. His singing voice is surprisingly quite good. Lugosi's acting is relaxed. However, he does look old and haggard. Taking this type of role may have probably been a low point to him. But seeing the feature without any preconceptions, he did a credible job on this one. This is one to have in the classics collection.


The Brotherhood 2 - Young Warlocks
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (25 September, 2001)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Director: David DeCoteau
Average review score:

Brotherhood II: Young Guys?
I must say that I am a guy who goes either way. I liked the first Brotherhood only because of Bradley Stryker. I think that this one is better than the first because the story seems better and there are a lot more hot guys. Just to name a few: C.J. Thomason "Marcus", Noah Frank "Harlan", Greg Lyczkowski "Randall", and Ari Welkom "Alex". One of my favorie scenes is in the locker room, another is in the pool. It's just too bad that Bradley could not return, then it would have been a grade A movie. I thought that the girls in this movie were a waste of time, none of them were hot. What we needed was Denise Richards or Britney Spears. I say rent or buy this movie for the guys.

Extremely misleaving Reviews
Ok, every single one of these reviews are EXTREMELY MISLEADING! I love horror. And I considered this to be a cool mediocre horror movie that I very much enjoyed. I am a straight male (not say I am homophobic or sexist cause actually I am about as far from those 2 things as you can possible get). Yet, I definitely enjoyed this flick. When I rented this film from bl0ckbuster there was absolutely no indication on the box that this could be considered a "homo-erotic" film but rather just seemed like a rad horror film that I would enjoy. AND I AM GLAD IT DIDN'T CAUSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF IF IT DID! Truthfully, IT NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO ME UNTIL I READ THESE REVIEWS that this could be considered a "homo-erotic" flick. Not to mention the fact that there IS female nudity in this movie! I would also like to point out that every character in this movie IS STRAIGHT! So, unless you're a right-wing bas:terd don't let the whole homo-erotic thing discourage you from getting this movie if you like the idea to it.

This movie is about three high school outcasts who all have a real problem with authority (which I like) by the names of Marcus Ratner, John Van Owen and Matt Slaten. Yet despite they're individualistic attitude, the narrator, Marcus longs to fit in. Then they met Luke. He's the new kid in town. Luke (a warlock) promises them that they could have anything they want, rule over everyone, have girls, money, power, everything they've ever dreamed of and more! All they have to do is pledge loyalty to Luke and each other (the brotherhood) and break all ten commandments as well as various other rituals. However, what he told them were lies. As the movie progresses it is quite clear that Marcus and his two friends are not getting stronger but rather Luke is getting stronger and John and Matt are practically becoming slaves to Luke's will. And the only one willing to realize this is good old Marcus. Suddenly, loneliness and jock bullies become the least of Marcus's high problems.

If you are a fan of horror, I suggest you definitely check this great independent film. However, if you are new to horror, this is in no way the place to start. I highly recommend "Christina's House", "Ghost Ship" and "American Werewolf in Paris". But whatever you do, steer clear of the independent flick "Wendigo". Peace.

Not the best film, a unique genre, and talent!
With great respect for all opinions expressed and implied by many of the "reviewers" on Amazon and those critics in print:

The fact is simple. What David DeCocteau is doing here is taking a cheesy, 5-10 day shoot horror genre and making something a little different out of it... twisting the traditional T&A into P&A (a humorous comment made by an earlier reviewer, and it is totally true!, I think a fair amount of good judgement is required before purchasing this DVD.

Does this film cater to the young female audience? YES!
Does it cater to a gay audience? YES!
Does it require or demand any substantial brain matter or deep analysis to enjoy or otherwise "figure out" this flick! Heck NO!

We are dealing here with cheesy horror and a small tad of "sexploitation", even though, in a review of the Brotherhood I, I stated that David DeC. was not being a sexploitation artist, it seems that it is now necessary for me to correct that statement, as to avoid confusion...

First... there is absolutely NO GRATUITOUS NUDITY. There are NO "in-your-face" sexual contents in this film. There IS however, a plain and simple fact: This film, like several others by David DeC. have a blatant, and, gratefully unashamed, appreciation for the male form, and the unique sensibility to delve into the taboo areas of male-bonding, body worship, and the ability for lead characters of the male genre to exercise psychological control over their male counterparts. This clearly makes some of David DeC.'s works "HOMOEROTIC". This may make some uncomfortable, it may also stimulate others.

I humbly disagree with those who may object to this film because of the homoeroticism as deeply as I disagree with those who find that they have been misled into thinking this title is a "gay film". It is neither! It is simply a different way of dealing with the genre of fast produced, low budget, horror films that this reviewer, as a lover of the horror genre, was pleasantly surprized by!

This film is well acted with a usual lineup of young TALENTED males of whom Dave DeC. is well known to acquire. I see nothing wrong with giving a handsome young man a "first break" in the film industry... because it seems that David DeC. does that quite a bit, and the results are usually rather good! (Frankly, I am glad that David hired them first... what is the other possible option for a young talent? Without mentioning it, smart ones know the answer!)

In particular, the perfomance by C.J. Thomason should be noted. The guy was only 18 when this was shot, and it was his first role in any film production. I wish him the ABSOLUTE BEST! There were several scenes in this film that other young actors had problems with,(specifically, the locker room, intimidation scene)which C.J. handled BRILLIANTLY! (C.J. was not the first actor to audition for this role, but his ability to handle it resulted in his hiring just two days before shooting began). (Reference source: David DeCocteau's commentary on the double collection dics of "The BrotherHood")

If you simply can not stand the sight of bonding between young men, then do not buy this title. If you want love scenes that are explicitly gay or a 100% gay film then don't buy it either. (There are so many other titles out there.. but if you are a true collector of gay-themed cinema, I would urge you to not pass this one up!) And, certainly, if you want a complex horror movie with all the trimmings, (say the like of "Poltergeist" or "Alien" or the "Shining") this is not the film for you either. [ A special note to readers of this review who are GLBTQ: David DeC. is so much smarter than one could think... In the "BrotherHood I" it was necessary to share "blood" as part of the plot... In this 2nd film (note: NOT a sequel) there exists a similar element, which the director was keen to point out: the "sharing of tears" is necessary to be part of the second "brotherhood". So we have BLOOD and then TEARS. Both, bodily fluids, but the parallel between the two speaks volumes. I suspect David DeCocteau is sending a message to all GLBTQ people... at least, to those of us who lived through the horror of the 1980's and the pan-demic of AIDS. So... I will not simply discard this film as without any complexity of thought.. in fact,, I think the director knows exactly what he is doing.. since parts 3 and 4 are now in production, we should all see within the year if there is such a depth to my thinking. For now, it makes sense to me! ]

But... if you want a film that is off the edge a bit, has no great depth of thought, but rather a simple storyline (predictable), smacks clearly of homoeroticism, has beautiful male leads (that are talented) and maybe redfines the word "THRILLER" (only becuase it may "thrill" the viewer in a unique way that it thrilled *this* viewer)... then I think it is worth investigating!

Respectfully submitted.

Bob


Johnny Cash - A Concert Behind Prison Walls
Released in DVD by Red Distribution, In (23 September, 2003)
MPAA Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Starring: Johnny Cash
The late Man in Black headlines this 1976 televised concert, shot inside the Tennessee State Prison and featuring post-hippie chanteuse Linda Ronstadt, country picker Roy Clark, and, rather incongruously, tuxedo-ed comedian Foster Brooks, whose '70s drunk act was often funny on, say, Dean Martin's Celebrity Roast, but seems a little wrong for an audience of felons.

Ronstadt is surely appreciated for her short skirt and sweet pop-blues (her "Love Has No Pride" nears epic intensity), and Clark's showmanship works with kitsch like "Orange Blossom Special." But it's Cash's "Sunday Morning Coming Down," Folsom Prison Blues," and famously bloody "Boy Named Sue" that resonate most powerfully with his, uh, captive audience. There's a touch of condescension toward the prisoners in some stage patter and song choices: Sure, Ronstadt had a hit with "Desperado" at the time, but here it sounds like she's wagging her finger at the crowd. --Tom Keogh

Average review score:

WORTHLESS-AVOID AT ANY PRICE
This has only six songs by Cash, indifferently and lifelessly peformed. This has none of the ambience of the San Quentin or Folsom Prison shows.

Indeed false advertising
It's probably a good concert for those interested in country music altogether but it definitely shouldn't be sold as a Johnny Cash concert as you only get 6 songs from him. The 2 best being "My name is Sue" and "Sunday Morning Comin' Down" you'd better get the "Anthology" instead where you get 15 full songs.

False Advertising
If you're hoping for a video of 'at Folsom Prison' or 'at San Quentin' this isn't it. It's billed as a Johnny Cash concert with special guests, but it's really more of a variety show bookended by Johnny. Johnny appears on less then half this DVD. The stuff that's there is great, but it really just wets your appetite and leaves you wanting more.


The Affair
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (07 December, 1999)
MPAA Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Director: Gilbert Cates
Starring: Natalie Wood, Robert Wagner, and Bruce Davison
Average review score:

Made in 1973, and it shows
Sometimes a movie makes you take notice, ponder at the first-rate acting talent, and force you to wonder why anyone went to all the trouble to make it. Affair, starring Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood, the real-life couple-in-matrimony, have really strange on-screen 'chemistry.' Wagner comes across as Mr. Silent Stalker to Wood's character, almost forcing himself into her life. Wood's character, legs paralyzed from illness as a child, finally gives into his advances, and before you know it, he's proclaiming his love for her. Spelling must have financed this movie by the word --- and with a really tight budget.... I've never heard such abstract, unbelievable, and unnatural dialogue in my life.

The DVD itself has clear menus, and great packaging, however the film transfer looks like soemthing out of a high-school science class: grainy, dark, inconsistant coloring between reels, and flat sound.

This movie is straight from the 70s, and it shows. Bell bottoms, shag carpeting, and Elton John eyewear is shared by all in this completely forgettable and pointless anti-romance.... And I'm a huge Natalie Wood fan. Stick with Splendor In The Grass if you want to see Wood in a real romance; watch Wagner in Austin Powers (at least he's supposed to be funny in that flick).

Somewhat Blurry DVD, Definitely Flat Dialogue
Sometimes a movie makes you take notice, ponder at the first-rate acting talent, and force you to wonder why anyone went to all the trouble to make it. Affair, starring Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood, the real-life couple-in-matrimony, have really strange on-screen 'chemistry.' Wagner comes across as Mr. Silent Stalker to Wood's character, almost forcing himself into her life. Wood's character, legs paralyzed from illness as a child, finally gives into his advances, and before you know it, he's proclaiming his love for her.

Spelling must have financed this movie by the word --- and with a really tight budget.... I've never heard such abstract, unbelievable, and unnatural dialogue in my life.

The DVD itself has clear menus, and great packaging, however the film transfer looks like soemthing out of a high-school science class: grainy, dark, inconsistant coloring between reels, and flat sound.

This movie is straight from the 70s, and it shows. Bell bottoms, shag carpeting, and Elton John eyewear is shared by all in this completely forgettable and pointless anti-romance.... And I'm a huge Natalie Wood fan. Stick with Splendor In The Grass if you want to see Wood in a real romance; watch Wagner in Austin Powers (at least he's supposed to be funny in that flick).

A Sensitive "Made for Television" Movie
Most of the reviews of this film have been rather harsh. I remember watching this movie as a teenager in the 1970s on a black and white television, so I found watching this movie in color without commercial interruption a delightful experience. I think that Wood and Wagner handled a delicate relationship carefully. One must remember that the disability rights movement was in its infancy in the early 1970s, so persons with physical challenges and the social dimensions of living with a disability were not part of mainstream discourse. Wood and Wagner did an excellent job of portraying a number of emotional and social issues regarding the navigation of sexual relationships for a woman with a physical challenge. Many young viewers may also not clearly understand the impact that polio had on our whole society with many people dying from the disease or being left with a severe level of physical impairment. Time has marched on, many people who lived with the aftermath of polio have died, and some may have forgotten the impact that polio had on the everyday reality of people's lives. In all fairness to this film, I thought that the subject was handled with sensitivity by one of Hollywood's most beloved couples. If one is to judge art, the historic context, level of technology, and the target audience must be considered. "The Affair" was produced as a made for television film that enabled this couple to appear publicly, for a rare treat, on screen together during her pregnancy. 1970s technology was not superb and digitalized. Some of us still prefer records, too. As for criticism of fashion in the movie, well, styles do change... However, Ms. Wood's pants were not "bellbottoms." Anyone who has ever worn calipers or known someone who has...realizes that getting clothing to fit over braces does not provide a sleek and slender look. Pants are often baggy by necessity to fit over braces, and the metal often times still wears through the sides of slacks at the knee joint. That "look" was not retro...It was realism. Lastly, Wagner's character was not atypical of the times as men and women were struggling more over issues such as independence, sexual expression, commitment, and the accelerating divorce rate. I am certain that the notion of a man "stalking" a woman was not verbage typical of the period, nor was the gentility he displayed typical of "stalking" as it would now be defined. See "Ghostworld" and "High Fidelity" for a greater appreciation of works of art that can be appreciated for what they were meant to be. Classics are by nature supposed to be retro!


Erotic Survivor, Vol. 2
Released in DVD by Ventura Distribution (26 February, 2002)
MPAA Rating:
Director: John Bacchus
Average review score:

why did they make this movie?
i'm a huge fan of seduction cinema's "erotic parody" movies, and of director john bacchus. the original EROTIC SURVIVOR is an exceptionally well-made goof on the popular television series, full of hilarious jokes (like all of bacchus's movies) and always fun to play when you throw a party. however, i'm having a hard time figuring out why bacchus made EROTIC SURVIVOR 2. it has none of the elements that made the first one good, it feels like no one really wanted to make this movie. even bacchus, who plays the host of EROTIC SURVIVOR 2, appears to be having one miserable time. if i didn't know better, i'd say he was somehow obligated or forced to make this. without the energetic acting and funny dialogue that always separates a john bacchus film from the hordes of other... flicks out there, you're left with an empty viewing experience. the DVD itself is also unusually spare in the extras department in comparison to past seduction cinema releases. all you get is a brief "making of" feature and a couple trailers for films that are already available. the only assumption i can make is that bacchus did EROTIC SURVIVOR 2 for the hell of it, sometime when he was working on PLAYMATE OF THE APES, his most ambitious and highly entertaining effort yet. check that one out, skip ES2.

from Fringe Video Fanzine Issue #005
Six strangers are stranded on the sweltering plains of the African Savanna. There, they must play together to survive, while "...feeling each other out, and up..." The sole survivor will walk away with an incredible $20.00. Tune in as the survivors out-kiss, out-lick, and outplay each other. Much like Indican Picture's Survivors Exposed (2000) [reviewed in Fringe Video Issue #004], except along with the naked lesbian action, this parody actually does have some watchable contests which include: A race where pennies are carried in the cleavage of a survivor team-mate; Condoms are filled blindfolded with Jello; A blow up doll race; Multiple choice sexual questions; and dirty scrabble. In between the contests the girls get to know each other better stopping for sex in the woods while searching for food. "...the girls find themselves indulging every untamed urge, erotic alliance, and lustful lesbian desire..." An enjoyable time, however the reality show thing is getting very stale, and unfortunately so is everything that goes along with it.

A dead-on sexy spoof of TV's Survivor
Erotic Survivor is a pretty funny spoof of the reality show Survivor, poking great fun in particular at the whole alliance and trust aspect of the game. We see a lot of individual segments with each character, which makes the Survivor gambit play even better. We start out with 8 contestants, all of whom are stranded out in the woods a good hundred feet from civilization, and director John Bacchus stands in as the Jeff Probst-like host. The contestants are in for 3 days of roughing it, while competitions are held each day to determine what tribe loses out. On one side we have the Hey-Hu-Nanni tribe with the annoying hypocrite Christian, the weird whiskey-drinking Ward (who actually resembles Burt Ward), the doped-up hippy Bernie, and Mary the professional censor. Across the way, there is the Pu-Nanni tribe consisting of a red-headed Esmerelda Dellarocco, Jade Duboir, the enticing Misty Mundae, and the typically outgoing Darian Caine. The girls' principal weakness is their preoccupation with carnal matters of a decidedly female nature, although this preoccupation also affords them an effective means of keeping their spirits up. The prize all of these men and women are playing for is an incredible sum of twenty dollars (that's not a typo)-that kind of money can buy you a lot of beer, as Darian points out. Competitions consist of a truth-baring relay with something other than a baton, a Spam can-opening contest, and a question and answer round on the subject of sexuality.

The erotic segments of the movie aren't bad, but they're not what I would call sizzling either. Fans of both Darian Caine and Misty Mundae should not work themselves into a frenzy because there is no intense interaction between the two here; I myself found that somewhat disappointing. Actual Survivor moments are put to good use here, including a tapioca search and the discovery of a supposedly hot mud pit. If you watch this movie for the girls only, you might be disappointed to find that there is as much time spent on spoofing Survivor as there is. The erotic action is actually somewhat limited in this Seduction Cinema production, but there is a better than average amount of comedy. My particular favorite moment is Esmerelda stopping to light a cigarette while trying to start a fire by banging rocks together. Featuring a heavy-handed satirical take on Survivor, plenty of laughs, and a decent amount of Seduction Cinema girls being Seduction Cinema girls, this low-budget video is not a bad way to waste and hour and a half.


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