Wholesale and Distribution Movie Reviews

Don't let the fact that this is a GWAR video intimidate you. It's not concert footage and it's not music videos, this is a FULL-LENGTH FILM staring GWAR! This film explains the "origins" of GWAR and tells a comedic story of heroism... well... not really. I made that last part up. To be honest, I don't remember what it was about but remember it being one of the funniest films I'd ever seen. My copy is on the way and you should get one too!

.........don't worry about that. If you like GWAR than you can't be without this DVD. Just BUY IT!!!

Arguably the greatest of work of cinematic pop culture in the last 25 years. "Hard Hunted" takes a deep look at the social impact of neglegant violence and capricious sex. This cross genre epic turns bicoastal, advantagously exploiting breathtaking sets in both LA and Molokai.

Dialogue Hemmingway would have prided his claim to is illustrated in the chilling turning point of this film when Kane is compelled to send his underling and pilot of Raven ("his mighty aircraft" as Kane so proudly endows the vicious warbird of combat) to Hawaii hot on the heels of stunning Donna Hamilton.

Director Andy Sidaris spared no expense exercising mega star power with a statley performance in the opening scences by veteran actor/sports commentator extraordinaire Jim Lampley.

Despite Actor Al Leongs great performance in this movie, I feel that You can either make a Movie about sex, or an action movie, but not both. THEY JUST DON'T MIX.

"Hard Ticket to Hawaii" is the first of twelve (that's right, count 'em, twelve) Andy Sidaris "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" movies to be released on DVD, and as an introduction to the series it can't be topped. It's absolutely topless!

So, for a good stretch, are Playmates Dona Speir (March 1984) and Hope Marie Carlton (July 1985), who play supersecret agents Donna Hamilton and Taryn Kendall in this absolutely riotous take-off on James Bond. Except that even Bond never took as much off.

Frankly, recent Bond movies with their adrenaline overkill and obligatory explosions owe more to 'Hard Ticket To Hawaii' than it owes to them.

The plot, where it exists, concerns a drug-running ring on the Hawaiian island of Molokai. Donna and Taryn are assigned to stop the evildoers, who are led by a Goldfinger-like leader who delivers contraband in a radio-controlled helicopter (a scale model, not a real one...guess the drug business isn't what it used to be on Molokai).

Somehow, the storyline changes from smuggled drugs to smuggled diamonds along the way, but who cares? Dona and Hope Marie are clearly having a good time on camera, are so appealing (even when they're really trying to act) and the movie is so absurdly funny that anybody looking for a little element like a storyline should have his head examined.

Our secret agent friends spend most of their time either running around 85% naked in khaki jungle short shorts, 90% naked in the jacuzzi, or 95% naked kissing the tanned, buff men in this movie, but they do manage to subdue the bad guys in the end. Somehow.

In the interim, we are treated to such unforgettable lines as "Let's hit the jacuzzi...I do my best thinking there," "I don't want to control your life, I only want to suck the polish off your toes," and "If brains were bird poop you'd have a clean cage."

We also run afoul of a homicidal skateboarder armed with a pistol and a blow-up doll (why?) and a transvestite who is spying on the spies. Plus any number of nubile women, none of them at all foul.

The most memorable acting job of the film belongs to a giant rubber snake (don't be alarmed) who provides an interesting subplot (much more interesting than the plot plot, when you think about it). It seems that the giant rubber snake has been contaminated by ingesting cancer-infested rats, and wreaks havoc on the smiling islanders by ingesting them. By far the most memorable scene concerns the snake's sudden appearance from an exploding toilet, giving rise to the shouldabeenaOscar-winning line, "Just when you thought it was safe to take a..." Well, you know.

Sidaris' light touch is evident in the fact that each chapter of the DVD is listed with a chart indicating whether it contains gunfire, explosions, or bare breasts. Sidaris is strictly tongue-in-cheek. The film contains no full frontal nudity and no adult language, just a lot of innuendo. A lot of it.

The Special Edition DVD also has a chapter of the "Andy Sidaris Film School" in which the Writer/Producer/Director/etc. Sidaris (Mrs. Arlene and Mr. Andy, actually) engage in some very professional technical discussion of filmmaking. Although they'll never be Kubrick, they are serious about making a high-quality film on a shoestring budget, and it shows in their careful and clever filming and their breathtaking location shooting. And they do give some relative unknowns an acting resume, to boot. Anyone interested in how films are made needs to watch this.

Be prepared. "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" is pure, sunshiny enjoyment!

This movie is simply incredible. If you liked Sorority House Massacre II (and I know you did), you will love this movie. It has babes, bazookas, bozos, and an intriguing mystery to boot. OK, the last part is stretching it.

This movie follows two women who work for a charter plane/cargo service in Hawaii. They become targets, or somebody they know becomes targets, or something (who cares) of some Evil Bad Men. Their Boyfriends (the women, not the Bad Men) show up, after flexing and acting like [fools] on their boat for a while. Within a few minutes they encounter a Random Killer doing handstands on a skateboard. The Random Killer makes a second pass and manages to wing one of the Boyfriends, but the other shoots the Random Killer with a rocket launcher. Very cool! Another nice subplot is the Infected Snake (very realistic, let me tell you) who shows up in a sort of surprise ending that left the entire audience stunned.

The director's commentary is pretty cool because it explains some of the scenes that would otherwise make no sense. They still don't make much sense, but the commentary is cool. The video quality is very good, as is the audio. The plot quality is low, as is the acting. There is no shortage of nudity and violence. Excellent all around, if you like this kind of [junk].

A slightly sad note: Andy Sidaris (the genius who directed this), claims to have twelve movies out on DVD, but as of this writing only two are available.

Vanilla Ice is on it 'nuff said. His flows are tight, you especially know it when ICP is rappin with him, now normally people think they are good but compared to Vanilla they stink.

very impressed with this cd/dvd, especially the tracks from vanilla ice!!! featuring ICP, PUBLIC ENEMY, AND WU-TANG! Ice still has some skills!!

This is great movie, a morality tale based on the literary genius of one of Juan Rulfo's books, this is a movie that will connect with many audiences in spite of the subject matter. The story evolves around Dionisio Pinzon played by Ernesto Gomez who most recently was seen in the excellent movie "El Callejon de Milagros (Midaq Alley?)." Pinzon is a character who the audience has sympathy for initially but as he learns the ways of the world he becomes despicable. In the beginning of the movie he is a humble towncrier, getting up with the roosters to stand on his little stool to give the news and announcements to his pueblito(little town). His abilities are noticed by a traveling feria(fair) that is in need of someone to hype the cockfights and the feria. He "rescues" an injured cock that was going to be the local dinner and the rest is history. His gallo(cock) is healed and wins many fights for him making him a rich man. Along the way he becomes a gambler and wins lots of money, including the property of his mentor Don Lorenzo, who teaches everything in the sordid world of gambling. He also takes a wife known as La Caponera who was a singer in the feria and who took Pinzon and pulled him out of the tailspin he was in after his gallo lost. They have one child, La Pinzona, who grows up before the camera and has the less than desireable qualities of both her mother and father. In the end the inevitable consequences of Pinzon's wicked ways catch up with him and the only survivor is La Pinzona who carries on the family traditions. There are an abundant number of magnificent scenes that are stories unto themselves that have to be viewed to appreciated. Pinzon becomes one of those people you will hate as he is heartless and ruthless. Somehow the ugliness of Pinzon's life is one that will draw your attention and hold you riveted throughout the movie. Arturo Ripstein learned his lessons well as an assistant to Bunuel in "Exterminating Angel" and dedicates this movie to Bunuel. Ripstein's ability to weave a good story on the screen is a tribute to his mentor. Check this movie out if you've ever had doubts about the destruction gambling or too much power can be to the human condition. This is an excellent piece of filmwork, deserving of your attention now and again. We've all known a Pinzon, Don Lorenzo, La Caponera or La Pinzona; they are the people we all draw inspiration from to never become.

From cockfights to corruption to lust to touches of perversion and the extremes men (and women) go to in order to escape the ravages of poverty. It's all here and more. The movie brings to mind several filmmakers, Bunuel, whom Ripstein had worked with, Fellini, Rossellini, Kusturica, the ones who can take the dark side of humanity, the depravities and cruelties, and convert them into stories in which you can actually identify with the characters despite the fact that they are less than admirable. This is great cinema, great directing, writing, and acting. It reminded me a lot of Los Olvidados in its depiction of the squalor of rural Mexico and the mythological symbolism. I applaud Ripstein for this slice of torrid existence that leaves you wondering if the whole materialistic system of the world isn't one big cockfight. Ripstein is one of those filmmakers who can say in one shot what would take others less gifted 10 or more hours of film to convey. Very adult and very entertaining. Highly recommended!

"Outstanding" is the only word that adequately describes this versatile, multi-national band as far as I'm concerned. From rock and pop to classics the band must be watched to be fully appreciated as everyone has fun doing what they do. Having grown up in the big band era I have now replaced Glenn Miller as my all-time favorite band with James Last.

Many PBS viewers recently were fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of the high-energy, musical performance of the James Last Orchestra which is now, at long last also available on DVD!

As an introduction to American audiances, James Last describes his music as somewhere between Lawrence Welk and the Tiajuana Brass. That may indeed generally describe the sound but the personal energy displayed by each of these superbly talented musicians is quite unique.

Occasionally I have the pleasure of introducing "the James Last sound" to those who amazingly often don't even recognize the name of the group. After the first few selections consisting of a medley - Granada/Lady of Spain - followed by the Titanic love theme, invariably these new listeners have instantly been transformed into huge fans who can't wait to get more of this music into their collections!...

dis is the best dvd eva! and justin is turning up d heat wit his hott looks and all. he was looken hotter dan eva. the sound is different slightly but it is even moor awesome dan d original. im a picky person and i luv dis 1 so u have a good chance of luving it 2!!

Only place you can see the New "I'm Loving it" video.Shows a more intamate outlook towards Justin. See him comefront many intresting Dilemnas Towards his England Tour.Very Must-Have for any Music,Dvd,Or Jt Lake Fan.

This performance of the Mahler 5th, like that of Barenboim's with the Chicago Symphony, is a very fine middle of the road interpretation in high quality sound, perhaps a bit more imaginative in places, but not radically different. The biggest difference I hear is between the basic sound of the two ensembles. Compared to Chicago, the Berlin Phil has a noticably sweeter sound, especially in the strings. In the adagietto movement for strings and harp, this difference becomes quite apparent. Furthermore, the brass does not stand out in the mix, as it does with Chicago, but instead, is more blended in with the rest of the orchestra. Take your choice, or get both.

Unbelievable performance! They definitely picked the right conductor to succeed Abbado.

This is my second attempt at reviewing this movie. Perhaps my first post made it and maybe it didn't. I don't think it did, but if it did, totally ignore the second (or is it first?) post.

Of all of the movies I have ever witnessed, I have labeled 'Manos' the worst. I have never seen 'Plan 9 From Outer Space,' but I have been told in enough detail that this would have given 'Manos' a real run for the money and then some. However, until I see 'Plan 9,' this stills holds the record for a real stinkburger.

Dubbed by Mystery Science Theatre 3000 fans as the best movie ever riffed by the dynamic trio Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo. Well, "best" meaning "the most uckiest movie ever." If you question what MST3000 is, I suggest looking at their version of 'Manos' here on Amazon.

Anyway, 'Manos' starts first with an equally bad, yet in the end likeable-by-default short film, 'Hired: Part II.' This left my younger cousin splitting his seams. He had seen nothing funnier. After 'Manos,' he had forgotten entirely about 'Hired.'

The true tone for 'Manos' is set with the opening 10-minute-drive-to-nowhere. No dialogue, no action, just the family (Mom, Dad, daughter Debbie, and Peppy, the short-lived poodle) driving to the misslabled Valley Lodge. What of this Valley Lodge we are left to wonder. However, that is soon forgotten. The first ten mintues you also get to sample the music to the movie, easy-listening jazz. You will here nothing else besides the "Haunting Torgo Theme."

After the conspicuously incompetent father/husband, whose only defense for getting themselves horribly lost is the Valley Lodge sign, finally stops at a run-down (or is it luxurious? It's hard to tell from shaky camera angles and horribly picture quality) home on the edge of the desert, we finally get a mouthful of the true movie.

The house's caretaker, Torgo, "greets" the family, we finally also get a hint of how horrible the acting is. Torgo is the stuttering, probably perpetual drunk who watches the "Master"'s house while he is away. Torgo's actual eye-candy that will have you snickering are his knees. His pants look like he jammed watermelon halves down the fronts.

From the there, the family is stranded, and after Torgo puts up little resistance at keeping them out, the family is then invited to stay. At first, the Master is merely away, perhaps on a trip of unknown origin. However, later in the movie, he is dead. "But not dead in the way you know it," as Torgo so brilliantly exclaims. Then he is away again. Somebody bungled the script, methinks.

I won't spoil to much. Needless to say, the Master, whose servant is Torgo, of course, is somehow servant to Manos. Who Manos is exactly, we never figure. Perhaps it is the pyre that Torgo is "executed" on. (Torgo's execution, ordered by the Master, is first played out by his many wives who first merely wave their hands around his face in an annoying manner. Then, his left hand is burned off. The last we see of Torgo is his running into the desert. Some execution.) Of course, the Master needs a new Torgo, and what better replacement that Michael, the incompetent father/husband, who greets two young women in the end when they attempt to find the Valley Lodge.

Throughout the whole duration, no more than five minutes of dialogue is netted. Most of that is repetition ("She'll understand, Debbie's my girl. She'll understand." Pause. "Don't worry, dear. Debbie's my girl, she'll understand.") And that also brings up the point of the music. While the Master is out hunting the family, and Torgo is peeping in on the wife, all is set to easy listening jazz. The most foreboding music is the "Haunting Torgo Theme," which is played twice, easy messily cut while Michael bullies Torgo into carrying his bags.

And to end that, I must mention: I, an intelligent youth and my father, an incredibly intelligent man, can still not figure out what, exactly, was the 'Fate' referred to in the title.

Well, that review was long and pointless, but I hope is a help to those who wish to view a HORRIBLE, MOST UCKY AND MISERABLE movie apart from 'Plan 9.' If I were to one-up my suggestion, it would be to purchase the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 edition, which not only features the movie, but the wisecracks and one-liners shot off by Joel and his robot friends.

Well, that is all for now, I guess.

Of all of the movies I have ever witnessed, I have labeled 'Manos' the worst. I have never seen 'Plan 9 From Outer Space,' but I have been told in enough detail that this would have given 'Manos' a real run for the money and then some. However, until I see 'Plan 9,' this stills holds the record for a real stinkburger.

Dubbed by Mystery Science Theatre 3000 fans as the best movie ever riffed by the dynamic trio Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo. Well, "best" meaning "the most uckiest movie ever." If you question what MST3000 is, I suggest looking at their version of 'Manos' here on Amazon.

Anyway, 'Manos' starts first with an equally bad, yet in the end likeable-by-default short film, 'Hired: Part II.' This left my younger cousin splitting his seams. He had seen nothing funnier. After 'Manos,' he had forgotten entirely about 'Hired.'

The true tone for 'Manos' is set with the opening 10-minute-drive-to-nowhere. No dialogue, no action, just the family (Mom, Dad, daughter Debbie, and Peppy, the short-lived poodle) driving to the misslabled Valley Lodge. What of this Valley Lodge we are left to wonder. However, that is soon forgotten. The first ten mintues you also get to sample the music to the movie, easy-listening jazz. You will here nothing else besides the "Haunting Torgo Theme."

After the conspicuously incompetent father/husband, whose only defense for getting themselves horribly lost is the Valley Lodge sign, finally stops at a run-down (or is it luxurious? It's hard to tell from shaky camera angles and horribly picture quality) home on the edge of the desert, we finally get a mouthful of the true movie.

The house's caretaker, Torgo, "greets" the family, we finally also get a hint of how horrible the acting is. Torgo is the stuttering, probably perpetual drunk who watches the "Master"'s house while he is away. Torgo's actual eye-candy that will have you snickering are his knees. His pants look like he jammed watermelon halves down the fronts.

From the there, the family is stranded, and after Torgo puts up little resistance at keeping them out, the family is then invited to stay. At first, the Master is merely away, perhaps on a trip of unknown origin. However, later in the movie, he is dead. "But not dead in the way you know it," as Torgo so brilliantly exclaims. Then he is away again. Somebody bungled the script, methinks.

I won't spoil to much. Needless to say, the Master, whose servant is Torgo, of course, is somehow servant to Manos. Who Manos is exactly, we never figure. Perhaps it is the pyre that Torgo is "executed" on. (Torgo's execution, ordered by the Master, is first played out by his many wives who first merely wave their hands around his face in an annoying manner. Then, his left hand is burned off. The last we see of Torgo is his running into the desert. Some execution.) Of course, the Master needs a new Torgo, and what better replacement that Michael, the incompetent father/husband, who greets two young women in the end when they attempt to find the Valley Lodge.

Throughout the whole duration, no more than five minutes of dialogue is netted. Most of that is repetition ("She'll understand, Debbie's my girl. She'll understand." Pause. "Don't worry, dear. Debbie's my girl, she'll understand.") And that also brings up the point of the music. While the Master is out hunting the family, and Torgo is peeping in on the wife, all is set to easy listening jazz. The most foreboding music is the "Haunting Torgo Theme," which is played twice, easy messily cut while Michael bullies Torgo into carrying his bags.

And to end that, I must mention: I, an intelligent youth and my father, an incredibly intelligent man, can still not figure out what, exactly, was the 'Fate' referred to in the title.

Well, that review was long and pointless, but I hope is a help to those who wish to view a HORRIBLE, MOST UCKY AND MISERABLE movie apart from 'Plan 9.' If I were to one-up my suggestion, it would be to purchase the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 edition, which not only features the movie, but the wisecracks and one-liners shot off by Joel and his robot friends.

Well, that is all for now, I guess.

O My GOODNESS, I recently received this DVD, for my birthday and i can say this was such a great surprise!! This concert was "SO GOOD", I DANCED, & SANG WITH THEM TILL THE "CONCERT"WAS OVER!!! This is so worth the $$$! This "BAND "IS SO "BAD",(meaning"Good") that before you know it, you're dancing,singing & clapping & having a GOOD TIME!!

MAZE FEATURING FRANKIE BEVERLY LIVE IN LOS ANGELES MAY NOT NOT TOP LIVE IN NEW ORLEANS BUT IT STILL GET A FIVE BECAUSE MAZE BEINGS OUT THE BEST IN U WHEN ON STAGE. THIS ONE IS NO LESS. FRANKIE AND THE BAND IS SO ENERGIZED THAT YOU ARE AT HOME WATCHING AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU ARE UP GROOVING TOO THE MUSIC AS I WAS. SONG SELECTION WASN'T AS GOOD AS LIVE IN NEW ORLEANS BUT WE NEEDED SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THE SONG THAT CAUGHT ALL PEOPLE EYES WAS "WE ARE ONE". A MUST FOR NOT ONLY MAZE FANS BUT ALL MUSIC FANS.