Actuarial Science Movie Reviews
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Early Hammer disaster.
Early (unsuccessful) Terence Fisher flick.
Worth a viewing for sci-fi fans...Actually a sci-fi effort, "The Four Sided Triangle" is a very good British black and white film from 1953. The production values are really pretty good, although the film was obviously made inexpensively. I liked the cast, location shooting, cinematography, and the basic overall story, which is in the best tradition of sci-fi short stories.
Two scientists create a new process to "reproduce" matter from energy (think of a cross between a photocopier and the replicators on "Star Trek"). Both scientists are in love with the same girl, and one is bound to lose when she finally chooses between them. However, the loser hits upon the idea of replicating the girl, so everyone can be happy and get what they want... at least on paper.
The gadget at the center of the tale, the "reproducer", is important but incidental. The device serves to facilitate the "what if?" quality of the story, making the normally impossible suddenly somehow possible. Scientific explanations of the device are not necessary, because the story is about how the characters react to the new problems their invention creates. In other words, the real story is between the characters, and unlike today's cineplex-infesting tripe, the focus is not on the special effects.
The film asks big questions that it never answers, and even then, it only asks them indirectly. Regardless, while the film is not completely successful, it does manage satisfy.


Ouch! This movie's bad!Two thumbs down. Purchase it only if you must but, I wanted it for my collection.
Gothic Terror in the Old West! Yeah, right! (Yawn).I stand humbled and speechless after viewing this movie. It's difficult to adequately describe this film (using the term very loosely). Combining a Grade B Western with the old low budget standby of the "mad doctor tampering in God's domain" sounds as if it's good fun for those of us who have the "So Bad, It's Good!" mantle proudly emblazoned on much of our personal video collection. For the most part, this film lacks both cheap thrills and unintentional laughs. The movie takes itself much too seriously. The cast and director grimly work their way through the script as if this is high drama instead of a fine opportunity at low comedy. Checkout the rainbow colored army helmets bedecked with electrodes used to transfer brainwaves (or something). The helmets are Dr. Frankenstein's version of cutting edge scientific technology, no doubt. Ditto the cheesy lab equipment that flashes, crackles, and pops on cue. Renaming the brain-tampered Hank "Igor" (or is it "Ygor"?) after the surgery is a nice touch. In these elements we see traces of low budget director William Beaudine's homage (albeit unintended) to that other infamous zero budget director, Ed Wood, Jr. If only Bela Lugosi was still alive in 1966!
See it, if you must. There is a companion volume to this movie called "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula." They sound like good Halloween party tapes, but "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" may be too much of a bad thing. Beware!
Ridiculous and FunGreat fun.


Not -ilusApparently the creators of this movie disagree. They seemed to be more focused on the super drill which can bore to the center of the earth and provide power for the world. Little does the money grubbing drill owner know that this will cause the end of the world and a drastic outbreak of toxic shock. And apparently this toxic shock can affect the male population and is indeed caused by bad drinking water. I think some writer was sleeping during his junior high health classes.
Even though I give this movie one star, I think you should see it. It's so terrible it's funny. While you're at it, rent Octopus too, that is another submarine classic. That way you can explore the ocean to your heart's content.
TIME TRAVEL TIME WASTERSTORY: People from the year 2099 living on environmentally decimated planet earth decide to return to 1999 in a time traveling submarine to fix history. The problem is to stop a new big energy project from being started up in 1999. This is what caused all of the 2099 troubles. But from beginning to end not only is movie messed up by implausible plots, they are carried out by cliché people. The greedy energy broker, his sometimes homicidal, sometimes humantistic security specialist; who used to be a Special Forces Vietnam killer, then mercenary ... and now this. Mixed in with this mischigas are environmental terrorists who launch an attack against the new energy station; just as the Nautilius arrives in 1999 from the future. Let's not forget the inept U.S. Air Force which cannot manage to stop anyone from doing anything. Clichés on top of clichés.
As a time travel movie, the 1960 H.G. Wells-inspired movie Time Machine was infinitely better than this flick. With all of the new computer and special effects technology the producer, screenwriter, and director should have done a lot better. Moreover, with new genres springing from movies such as Alien, Star Wars, Lost in Space .... and on and on ... serving as positive role models, there is no excuse in 1999 for such a lousy movie as Nautilus. Save your time and bypass this awful movie.
Richard Norton in First Rate Action Pic!mixes a comedic tone with action -- not always a successful
combination in the hands of lesser actors. Norton strikes his marks and the fun never lets up as the plot moves into a futuristic world of time travel aboard the high seas. With his able supporting cast, Norton and company make the film a first rate adventure. It is a DVD that action fans will want to own!


THIS MOVIE BLOWS!!!!!!!!
Drago's talent under used in "Solar"
Not Quite Classic

Truely a Green HellStock footage of many jungle flicks, tons of talk and in about the last 15 minutes we get treated to the superimposed plastic wasps that eventually get over shot with see through sceens of an erupting volcano. Sitting through of about 70 minutes of this movie is truly.........
What would Jock Ewing do in a fight with giant wasps?Although I hardly recognized him at first, the heroic Dr. Quent Brady is played by Jim Davis, better known as that man's man Jock Ewing on TV's Dallas. He's not enough to really save this film, however (and his voice-over journal notes often drag the movie's already slow pace). The giant wasps really aren't that impressive, and I'm still a little befuddled at the remarks of Quent that the tracks they find are definitely wasp tracks; I wasn't really aware that wasps leave tracks. Oh, well. Mainly what you get here is plenty of stock footage of African wildlife and a whole lot of walking-walking in the desert, walking in the jungle, walking in Lippert-like abundance. The final payoff is also a real clunker, taking what little wind this movie has in its sails and dispersing it in the winds of B-movie oblivion.
Fine DVD of lethargic big bug/jungle flick for diehards onlyImage's DVD, like others in their Wade Williams series, looks as good as anyone could expect for a movie of this genre and budget. There is some light speckling and blemishing throughout (a little bit heavier at the very beginning and during some of the stock footage), and a bit of light lining near the beginning also, but this clears up pretty quickly and the majority of the film thereafter looks great. Black level, contrast/brightness, tonal values, shadow/highlight detail, and sharpness are generally excellent (except again in some of the stock footage). It's unlikely we'll ever see a better print and transfer. (There is another version out on a triple-feature DVD on some no-name label that can probably be assumed is the usual PD junk.) Five other Wade Williams trailers are found in a cookie, and the theatrical trailer for the feature is accessed by clicking on the wasp in the middle of the screen. While suffering from the usual speckling, blemishing, and lining, the MFGH trailer looks generally very good to excellent, if a bit soft. A fairly expensive package considering the limited extras (Image's pricing strategy eludes me sometimes) but if you're into seriously mind-numbing poverty-stricken 1950s monster trash (like I am), an essential addition to the collection nonetheless.


Very bad
Cybernator ruined my marriage!
Magnificently Terrible

BAD MOVIE ALERT!
Solid for a DTV...
It's not that bad a film.The plot follows a group of investigators as they struggle to find out the truth behind a strange monolith that has appeared in the middle of nowhere in Bhutan. David Keith is a dying scientist who finds himself cured of a terminal illness after he enters the Monolith. Ryan O'Neil doesn't do too badly as his equally confused colleague trying to keep the Military under control whilst at the same time trying to understand what is happening. The much loved James Avery (from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air) gives a good performance as a military Doctor and the excellent James Hong is cuttingly sarcastic as Chinese Ambassador Po. Add to this a Colonel with a power complex, a Captain whose belief in God comes into conflict with his orders and you have a pretty good film.
The film's overall storyline is that the Monolith intends to "wipe the slate clean and start all over again," because in a nutshell earth and its destructive human population isn't worthy of existing anymore. The Monolith is able to resequence DNA, hence David Keith's miraculous cure and the resurrection of two dead Chinese pilots and a Scientist.
Okay so the special effects aren't all that and a bag of chips, but even with a couple million dollars worth of special effects, "Battlefield Earth" still managed to honk louder than a gaggle geese in a farmyard!
It's not a terribly suspenseful film but it is watchable and not as bad as some people are making out. It certainly isn't cinema quality that is for sure then neither are a lot of movies that make it to the cinema and I don't see them getting panned in the same way. Make your own mind up about this movie, don't expect much other than a nice little movie that you can rent out when there is nothing else available. Like I said, it's not that bad.


The real sore losers are those who actually watch this filmThis movie never sits still; scenes change, characters change and morph, angelic beings with giant snakes pop up, people die, don't die, and "undie," all without a moment's notice and often in rapid succession. Even God and Satan aren't safe from the awful clutches of this movie, as they too get thrown into the illogical mix. Comic books are inexplicably important, and hippies are seemingly public enemy number one. I won't even try to describe this movie any more than this because I can't and, more importantly, because it simply isn't worth it. If this movie were a human being, it would be confined in a straitjacket and stuck in a maximum security mental asylum for the rest of its life. I guess I can begrudgingly credit the ending with what might be called a very tiny bit of a philosophical ending, but in doing so I am being incredibly generous to a movie that goes far out of its way to make sure no one can possibly understand the first thing about it.
SORE LOSERS....Not for long!A gawdy looking DVD set caught my eye recently. The colorful packaging boasted that it was a 2-DVD set with four films. Shockingly, one of those films is SORE LOSERS. The DVD package is called HOTTER THAN HELL ... The set includes such cinematic trash as Witchcraft X and XI and a shot on video werewolf picture called The Strangers. How SORE LOSERS wound up with these films is anyone's guess.
I picked up the fine priced set and I am pleased to report that not only is SORE LOSERS now defect free but that the picture quality is a bit stronger. For such a price I thought that the film would start as soon as I popped the disc in but to my surprise the DVD sports an attractive menu and chapter marks.
As for the other films, they are not my cup of tea. While I enjoy a good trashy flick with naked women as much as the next guy I like the films to be at least interesting and fairly well done, not one of the other three even comes close.
SORE LOSERS is one of the few seriously low budget films that I have seen over the last 10 years that I have really enjoyed. It's a side of trash culture outside of John Waters. The energetic film is full of old school Kozikish pop culture and fetish queens. The (often nude) women are are not your standard Hollywood fare (thank you), they're more akin to Richard Kern and Eric Kroll fetish models (I'm pretty sure at least one of them is).
I prefer to not say more about the film as I believe it is one best seen without knowing quite what to expect. Just know that if you love beautiful fetish models, old comic books, a bizarre story, and dark humor that you'll probably dig SORE LOSERS.
Worthy of Hunter Thompson

Incredibly cheesy Roger Corman films....Ignore this mess.
Not Too Bad - DVD Menu Not The BestThe first movie is Attack of the Monsters (aka Gamera vs. Guillon or Gamera vs. Guiron - depending on your source. Neptune Video used the first spelling, a reference book used the second). A boy and his friend see a UFO through his telescope and think they know where it landed. The boy's sister finds the flying saucer, and the two boys get inside just as it takes off on autopilot. The flying saucer looks alot like the Jupiter 2 with fins and a spinning thing on top. No one will listen to the girl's story about what happened except for one police officer. Meanwhile, the two boys are stuck on a planet with two female aliens who want to eat their brains. The monster Guillon is under the aliens' control. This print is censored with Guillon's fight with Space Gyaos being cut short.
The second movie is Destroy All Planets (aka Gamera vs. Viras). This is the first time for me to ever see this so I can't comment on what might be censored. Two boys in an experimental submarine are captured by an alien ship and become prisoners. However, the aliens are really after Gamera since he is their main obstacle to conquering Earth. The aliens capture Gamera long enough to attach a mind control device. Later, Viras is released to fight Gamera. (I can't explain why without giving a spoiler.) This movie uses many scenes from previous movies as the aliens try to find a way to defeat Gamera. Even some of the "new" scenes appear to use old footage even from the original black and white Gamera movie - tinted red here.
These movies are presented as you might have seen them broadcast on TV - before cable TV came along. The voice acting is OK. Both movies have a copyright of 1969. The original edition of Destroy All Planets was release one year earlier in Japan.
I could do without the Dragnet-style music during the FBI warning. The face of the DVD looks like a video capture.
I don't like the menus on this DVD. I normally assume that the brightest item is the selected one. With only two menu items (the title of each movie), it's not easy to tell at first that the item highlighted with green and somewhat dimmed is the selected movie. Plus, the menu comes up with the second (bottom) movie highlighted. The submenus for each movie are easier to navigate.
Each movie menu includes a photo collection. Under Attack of the Monsters, the images include movie posters and artwork for the VHS cases, LaserDisc slipcase, and DVD inserts. This includes material for all of the old movies plus the 1995 one. There are even illustrations of the monsters' anatmony (the same ones that are on the official Japanese web site). Under Destroy All Planets, the images are mainly production photos. These pictures are not still frames. They are presentations set to music with each image appearing for approximately 7 seconds.
Personally, I'd prefer to see the edition that Neptune Video had released on tape. I only got their subtitled letterboxed tapes so I don't know what their dubbed tapes were like except for the original 1965 movie. I don't know if their dubbed tape was like the AIP edition or not. I would like to see all of these older Gamera movies on DVD - released in both subtitled and dubbed as well as letterboxed.
Gamera double feature ...could be better.but disappointed with the quality. The film print has yellowed and the hue has shifted slightly red.
Bit of a drag, because it's the better of the two movies.
"War of the Monsters" (Gamera Vs. Guiron) the second film, was taken from a good quality print.
The colors are rich and vibrant, and the transfer is very sharp.
Both movies are on the same side of a dual-layered disk.
Each flick has six chapters, and amusing menu screens.
As an extra perk, there are two collections of promotion stills and Japanese movie posters. Both films have the original A.I.P. soundtracks, which are far superior to the versions re-dubbed by Sandy Frank in the 1980's. Unfortunately, these movies were released directly to television and mastered on 16mm, so the prints are somewhat grainy, and not widescreen. But what do ya want? We're talking about a giant fire-breathing, saber-toothed, prehistoric, flying turtle here. I predict this disk will end up being a collector's item, like the Simitar-Godzilla DVDs that sold out. If you're a Gamera fan, get this before it disappears.


Not vintage...
IT'S SAD TO SEE HOW LOW THE ROBOCOP MOVIES HAVE REALLY GONE
IT'S A SHAME WHAT THE ROBOCOP MOVIES HAVE BECOME
As for the DVD, well the picture quality is as good as can be expected for a film of such age. In the area of extras however, one senses Anchor Bay were bored with the film themselves. No trailers or tv spots, no production notes, just the bog standard casually narrated hotch potch of clips that make up the feeble "world of Hammer" compilation show. The clips of Peter Cushing in the Frankenstein films are worth seeing though.