Actuarial Science Movie Reviews

Monster From the Surf was this movies original title, I think it still is. I was shocked to know they changed it's name because I have been searching for this everywhere. Well I would not reccomend this to anyone no matter what type of movies you like. As a classic horror fan I was dissapointed to see this, they spend half the movie showing people surfing LITERALLY, watch for yourself it's actually almost half the whole movie showing clips of people surfing, looks like they stole the footage from somewhere, and to watch the whole movie and find out theres no monster but a guy in a suit was a huge dissapointment as well, I do love the design of the monster though. Horny directors try to get [rearend] shots of the gals in this flick and even breast close-ups while the girls are dancing! I mean come on, how horny do you have to be to sneak something up like that. There is no nudity in this film or much violence, if you want to call the "monsters" attacks violence. Theres not much I can say, just a jealous father getting his revenge whatever it may be, personally I don't care. But if your into collecting strange movies like me then I suggest you get it,. otherwise forget about it.

For some reason, American International Pictures never properly exploited the huge potential crossover appeal of their highly successful beach party and horror genres (witness the tepid Ghost in the Invisible Bikini). Attempting to fill this void, kiddie-show producers Edward Janis and Joan Gardner concocted this mildly enjoyable, very low-budget beach/horror item (fondly remembered as Monster from the Surf on TV). The story is primarily a dysfunctional-family melodrama: it seems oceanographer dad (Jon Hall) is losing his grip because son Richard (Arnold Lessing, looking rather more than teenaged) is being distracted from his studies by the surf and sand set, and also apparently because frustrated, shrewish wife Vicki (Sue Casey) is stepping out on him. Meanwhile, an alleged "sea monster" is bumping off errant teens (the minute a stray couple heads down the shore you know they're toast). The production is 'enhanced' somewhat by the participation of puppeteer/voice artist/sculptor Walker Edmiston (who plays the crippled sculptor Mark, wrote the song "Monster in the Surf," and sculpted the creature's head) and more so by surfing photographer Dale Davis, who supplied some nice footage of hot-dogging tube action. Also on the upside: BG&TM offers probably the largest chunk of halfway-decent instrumental surf music to make it onto a movie screen during the craze years (Dick Dale, The Pyramids, et al. were usually not allowed to play their best [instrumental] stuff in the Beach Party movies). The main title theme, repeated throughout the film (minus the horrendous opening vocals), and a "spooky" reverb guitar-and-sax theme actually hold up pretty well today. No musical group is credited so apparently these and the vaguely Brubeckian cocktail/spy-jazz cues are courtesy of Frank Sinatra Jr. (yes, THAT Frank Sinatra Jr.) The movie also generates a modicum of sleazy Adults Only ambience, mostly thanks to Ms. Casey, whose cold-eyed, acid-tongued demeanor begs comparison with Meg Myles in Satan in High Heels, Tura Satana in Faster Pussycat, and other definitive "bad girl" performances. And trash film junkies will have fun snickering at the Edwoodian dialogue ("I still believe that a human clawed that girl to death, not a fish, no matter how big"); ultra-chintzy, overlit monster suit; and some of the least convincing rear-projection driving scenes ever committed to film (check the size and trajectory of some of those following/passing vehicles!). Unfortunately, the homely beach girls, lacklustre party scenes, and cringeworthy vocal numbers and 'blackout' jokes cause one to reflect only on how brilliantly these elements were handled by William Asher in the AIP series. Cult status or no, "More Than Wanting You" is just lame, and the singing hand puppet is, well, a singing hand puppet. According to several of the principals, the film was actually directed 'by committee' and it shows. The writing, performances, editing, and continuity are consistently amateurish (watch the white MG transform into a different auto as it heads over the cliff in the finale); plot points are telegraphed by obvious, heavy-handed dialogue; and nominal director and star Jon Hall (looking puffy and bug-eyed) overacts wildly throughout. Hard to believe he was once the debonair ladies' man romancing Maria Montez on-screen. SF/horror fans will groan at the cop-out ending and the entire picture will most likely disappoint straights expecting an actual Good Movie. However, Beach Girls and the Monster does offer a sizable chunk of cheese for low-budget schlock aficionados to snack on. Makes a great double bill with Horror of Party Beach (still MIA on DVD).
Yet another fine Image/Wade Williams presentation, Beach Girls is offered here in probably the definitive DVD edition. The source print has been transferred in anamorphic widescreen, matted at 1.85:1, and other than some light speckling and blemishing, and sporadic, barely noticeable lining it looks great, with generally excellent brightness, contrast, sharpness, and shadow/highlight detail (limited at times by the quality of the original cinematography). The full-frame BG&TM trailer looks a little dupey but still very good, with only some light speckling apparent, and the usual five bonus WW Collection trailers are included in a cookie. The disc also features an extensive gallery of stills, on-set candids, and advertising art (some of the photos are in color), and an underwhelming eight-page extract from the original script in Adobe PDF format. The Dolby Digital 1.0 mono sound is clear and full, the main menu is nicely animated, and there are informative liner notes by Tom Weaver in the keep case. One of the nicer packages in the Image/Williams series. Three stars for the movie, five for the DVD, equals four overall.

This movie used to play periodically on late Saturday night Philadelphia TV in the 60s. My family and I must have watched it at least a dozen times without ever seeing the end. It got to be a real joke. We used to watch for it in the listings, and every time it would play we would gather together in front of the tube resolving to stick it through to the end, only to fall asleep once again. Twenty years later I finally got to see the end, but I won't ruin it for you.

Okay, so the only reason we saw this is because 1)our mother picked it up and 2)my brother was sick in bed for weeks and we had rented everything else in the store.
It was so lame that it was, well... funny. No, not even. It just made your lip twitch that funny way when you're not sure what exactly you're looking at.
I'll admit its addictive. Its hard to turn away. You keep wondering where all the money and 'talent' went...(Did they save it for the end????)When you find out that it doesn't get any better, your lip reaches new hights and you wonder what else you could have done with that 90 minutes... (You could have written a better movie, filmed it with your dad's old camera with your kid sis playing all the different roles and had it on its way to Universal. Easy.)
Oh!!! and the music is just AMAZING!!!!! Who thought that you could recreate such diverse emotions and thoughts with only two cords??? Mwiiiiiang Mwoooooooong.... Oh, don't you just feel the tension, the romance, the TERROR!!!!

Now the sad part is that we saw this movie over 2 years ago and we only just found it here at Amazon.com. It's nowhere to be found near us (my brother thinks that Hollywood disowned it...I agree...). We've told all our friends about how terrible it was and they don't believe us. Now that we have found it they shall see!!

And they too will waste 90 minutes of their measily lives!

Laserhawk was an alright movie. Nothing particularily amazing, but the plot was good, and the actors were well casted. Over all, it was worth seeing.

Laserhawk is an underated movie wish Cult following. Give it a try. It is nothing like I expected.

It's not that this movie is especially bad--it's just boring. I could hardly stay awake as I watched it and I wasn't even tired. A large plastic ball transports an alien to earth from one of Jupiters moons, where he poses as an agent for "Bikini today" to ensnare attractive young women. The acting and story are okay for the time period--it's just not interesting-and it's not "bad" enough to be funny.

Director John Gilling is true to form with his Night Caller From Outer Space a SiFi B Movie Classic! It has all the magical ingredients you would hanker for with a late 60's SiFi movie. Mystery, wonder, plenty of giant buttons & switches and naturaly a beautiful woman! If you have enjoyed such movies as The Mummy's Shroud, My Son The Vampire, The Plague of the Zombies and The Reptile then you are sure to love Night Caller! I did!

I had never seen the movie before but I had heard that it was funny because it was so odd and it was! For that very reason I loved it!

Okay, this movie....oh man. This horrible clash of genres features over the top and under the top acting, idiotic characters, "special" Effects that are none too impressive and is the worst thing Isaac Hays has ever been involved with. Seriously, this is one ripe for MST3K, folks. Buy it only to torture yourself or other people. I have a long, curse-filled, spiteful review on my website, but I can't post the URL here so whatever. If you are going to buy, BUY USED. Do not waste any extra money on this thing. Spend it on a bag of Oreos or something instead. You'll be glad you did.

Oblivion is a campy, fun loving Sci-Fi Western movie that doesn't try to explain itself, nor does it take itself too seriously. If you are a trekky like me, its almost worth the cost of the DVD just to hear George Takei (who plays a drunk doctor) pay hommage to "Bones" McKoy with such wonderful lines as "I'm a doctor dammit, not a magician!" Oblivion has all the stuff you would expect in a B-movie western, including the wooden hero with a problematic past, the nasty villain with a band of losers, the hostage, and the shootout. This is combined with the sci-fi laser guns and bizarre B-grade off-world creatures.

This movie has all sorts of weird scenes. The best without question (also worth the price of the movie) has to be the funeral scene with the simultaneous Bingo game taking place on the second floor. This hilarious combination of sappy funeral speeches with bingo announcements like "B-1" going on in the background is a scream.

And while this movie has a really hot black nylon chick in Musetta Vander (if you're into the Trinity "Matrix" look, get this!), it is truly missing the gratuitous T&A. Musetta (the hot siren from "O Brother Where Art Thou") is hot though, so the movie still survives.

I give it 3 stars on the B-movie scale - T&A would have brought it to a solid 4.

The best of the stacks and stacks of direct-to-video junk out there.

Self-consciously campy, with stop-motion creatures, and (thankfully) good-natured, with no really objectionable stuff to speak of.

If you hear the words "low-budget" and run for the hills, pass this one up. But if you know and love AIP movies of the late 50's, it's a good bet you will enjoy this. This is as close to the feel of those that I have so far found among modern [movies].

I bought this dvd for 2 reasons.Monique Gabrielle and Jim Wynorski .If not for the audio commentary-it is completely unbearable.Luckily,the one actor who had character was the commentary co-host.After Death Stalker II,I know Mr. Wynorski is/was capable of much more.This was sad really.

Tracy Lords is cast as the main blood pumper for this I believe alien vampire sorta. Only a little nudity. Tracy is trading porno for drama in this Roger Corman classic. Get this one if you like being confused. No spoilers here.

Jim Wynorski is quite possibly the finest B movie director ever. His Sorority House Massacre II is a masterpiece of slasher horror. Deathstalker II's incredible contrast with the rest of the series pushes a good movie up another notch. Jim W. does it again with Not of this Earth.

The opening scene lasts about 2 or 3 minutes and after seeing it, you just know you are in for a treat. The credits are better than ten other B movies put together. They show an amazing array aliens, space combat, and special effects. The best part is that the credit sequence really has very little to do with the movie you are about to see. That kind of attention to detail is hard to find in big budget movie, and in a B movie it is practically unheard of!

Traci Lords plays a very attractive nurse who is hired to take care of the mysterious Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson is does an incredible job as an emotionless alien, and the resulting comedy is priceless (or without value, depending on your point of view). Anyway, I got a kick out of Traci's coworker, Jeremy, the surly bodyguard/driver/cook who wears leather no finger gloves and a nice looking chauffer uniform.

I recommend this movie to any fan of cheesy science fiction. It is entertaining throughout.

A slight correction to my previous review: apparently all available prints of this film are missing a brief scene of about 30 seconds duration. Please disregard the following: "This one is also missing almost 30 seconds from a key scene." My other comments stand. I like the film, I just wish Image had done a better job, and found a better print.

This is another film where John Carradine as the Cosmic Man arrives on earth to spread good words/deeds but is greeted with suspicion and fear. He arrives in a spherical spaceship that defies gravity and the rest of the movie the military is looking for him. At end of the movie, the Cosmic Man (just before he is killed) shows he means only good by restoring a cripple boy back to health. The special effect for the film is where the Cosmic Man has black skin with a white shadow.

The quality of the DVD is excellent and includes the movie's theatrical trailer.

Cosmic Man exists in that netherworld of zero-budget SF schlock (e.g., Astounding She Monster, Teenagers from Outer Space, Beast of Yucca Flats) wherein the lack of funds precludes any real special effects or exciting action, yet somehow a uniquely warped atmosphere is established that invites contemplation by dedicated bad-film fanatics. This was the freshman screenplay of cheesy-SF writer Arthur C. Pierce, who later penned mostly-boring 1960s "sci-fi" duds Destination Inner Space, Cyborg 2087, Dimension 5, etc., and also directed the far more interesting if even schlockier Navy vs. the Night Monsters, Women of the Prehistoric Planet, and Las Vegas Hillbillys. The plot steals shamelessly from The Day the Earth Stood Still, adapting the latter's ambitious 'peacenik scientists vs. military hawks' thematics to accomodate shoestring production values. Second-and-last-time director Herbert Greene had been assistant director on Invisible Invaders, The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake, and the Lone Ranger TV series. Lyn Osborn (Invasion of the Saucer Men, Space Patrol) and Ken Clayton (Johnnie in Lost Lonely and Vicious) both play Air Force sergeants here. Their radar station, while already tracking a UFO, receives a report of an 8-foot diameter silver hovering metallic sphere ("looks like a satellite") from forest rangers in nearby Stone Canyon. Astrophysicist Dr. Sorensen (Bruce Bennett, AKA Herman Brix, former 1930s Tarzan) is called in from the Pacific Technical Institute by slimy Colonel Mathews (Paul Langton; The Snow Creature, Incredible Shrinking Man, Invisible Invaders) to figure out exactly what to do with the big shiny golf ball. They use as their base of operations a nearby lodge (housing a beautiful Rock-Ola jukebox) owned by war-widow Kathy Grant (Angela Greene; Night of the Blood Beast, Tickle Me) whose wheelchair-bound son Kenny just happens to have read all of Dr. Sorensen's books ("he discovered omicron radiation!") and is an aspiring astrophysicist himself. Lots of meaningless technobabble concerning antigravity ensues, and the Colonel tries to put the make on Mrs. Grant, ick! The cosmic man (John Carradine) shows up (as basically a black, nearly featureless shadow) and proceeds to wreak havoc, accompanied by enigmatic silent vignettes, stock footage of police cars, and even some half-baked cheesecake. Then, in a bit seemingly borrowed from The Invisible Man, he shows up in humanoid form, bundled up in a parka, alpine hat, and weird X-Ray Spex-ish glasses, checks into the lodge right under everyone's noses, and hangs out playing chess with little Kenny in his bedroom! Meanwhile, the military men and scientists can't budge the floating ball, so Colonel Mathews, Dr. Sorensen, and Kenny (!?) have a lengthy debate on how to catch the cosmic man, brush up on some basic astronomical trivia, and discuss Dr. Sorensen's guilt over contributing to the bombing of Hiroshima (!!). It all winds up at Bronson Canyon, as these things often do, for the miraculous and hokey denouement. Not exactly a laugh-a-minute bad-film atrocity, Cosmic Man still has the twisted logic, awkward pacing, and strange, Woodian dialogue ("Here, Colonel, have a mint") that trash film junkies crave. Kind of like an "SF" episode of Father Knows Best, or a really poverty-stricken companion piece to Invaders from Mars or perhaps Giant Gila Monster (try it!). Mainstream movie fans beware!
Yet another entry in Image's Wade Williams Collection, Cosmic Man looks terrific on DVD. Apparently transferred from a British release print (it opens with the BBFC certificate and Associated British Pathe logo) the film looks virtually pristine, with excellent black level, contrast, brightness, sharpness, and shadow/highlight detail. Physical damage is limited to only some very light speckling and blemishing. I haven't a clue what the negative reviewer below is complaining about, unless Image actually dug up a far superior print and remastered the disc within the last two years (which seems unlikely). It really looks beautiful overall, especially for such a no-budget stinker. The included Cosmic Man trailer (narrated by Paul Frees) is also pretty crisp, with very good tonal values, but exhibiting some light scratching, lining, speckling, and blemishing. Twelve chapter stops and five bonus WWC trailers are the only other extras, but for bad-cinema lovers this is a pretty solid set for the money. "Goodbye, cosmic man."

This is just like an updated B movie from the sixties and I enjoyed it. It's real comic book stuff. The effects are not bad, the pace hardly flags and the cast seem to be enjoying themselves so it's easy viewing. I enjoyed this more than big budget films such as Evolution or Jurassic Park 3. But I think the absence of big names will put people off, not that it matters because the cast here do a fine job. And if big names don't matter to you then you could do a lot worse than watch this.

Anything with Terry Farrell in it rates Five stars in my book, she is one of the,(if not thee), most beautifull and sexy women alive, not to mention a very intelligent, talented actress, I wish she had the confidence (she has the talent) to do more quality movies. (she'd be awesome in a romantic comedy) What can I say I'm a fan. But to be honest this is a Sci-fi B-movie action adventure, Probably low budget, but the special effect are good. I gave it 3 Stars for having Terry in it, her acting is very good (considering the script). If it had a bigger budget, a better plot and script it would earn the 3 stars or more. But still it is a fun movie to watch and I enjoyed it. But you have to be a B-movie, SCI-FI fan to really enjoy it. (or a Terry fan) I'm both. The cast is good and the acting, I think they had a lot of fun making it, and some of you will watching it.

This is the ultimate sci-fi geek movie... we have Ms. Terry Farrell of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Jadzia Dax) and the infamous Wil Wheaton of Star Trek: Next Generation (Wesley Crusher) and current Internet fame. I can't honestly believe the trekkies can stay away. This one scores WAY higher for me than Free Enterprise.

It was recommended by Wil on his site (see url below) yesterday so we hopped down to the video store and rented it. It's cheesy and fun and a great movie.

Nice death scene, Wil....

I love cult films and Something Weird usually delivers the goods, but this movie is boring. Aside from the hook of a giant mutant sheep, the film is tedious and depressing. The extras are pretty lame too. One of the shorts features a woman being explicitly raped by a sasquatch, which the cover fails to mention so keep impressionable eyes far away. Avoid this DVD like the plague!

Some "bad" movies are fun! This one is just plain DULL! The plot has already been outlined adequately a number of times so I wont go into that. However, I'd like to review the DVD as a whole. It is not a TOTAL waste, but it comes close. A couple of tedious shorts on rural rat and fly control are for masochists only and the main feature ("Godmonster") is yawn inducing with little, or no, redeeming features. However, the third short "The Geek" is mildly entertaining and the bonus feature "The Girl And The Geek" is 'so-bad-it's-good' as opposed to the 'so-bad-it's-boring' Godmonster. This made in Texas nudie cutie has a chubby stripper chased thru the forest by a couple of hoods, 2 cops (one of whom is director Dale Berry) and a circus geek. All the "action" is interrupted every now and then by strip-tease acts. If you thought Doris Wishman was bottom-of-the-barrell...I give you Dale Berry. But it's fun! Also the music clip "You Cannot Fart Around With Love" is weird and wonderful and, of course, the poster gallery/radio ads is always a welcome feature.
I regret buying this one. The best Somethting Weird DVDs are the Dave Friedman movies. Why? Funny scripts, naked babes and entertaining commentaries from a great showman. "Godmonster..." offers NONE of the above.

The prospect of a low-budget horror film involving an eight-foot-tall mutant sheep probably doesn't inspire patronage from mainstream movie fans, but it's surprisingly competent and features far too little of its title beastie. Director had the temerity to name it "Godmonster," and his other titles ("Alabama's Ghost" and "Roseland") are likewise wonders to behold. The DVD features two creepy educational shorts on rural fly and rat control and the hilarious black-and-white nudie "Giel and the Geek!"

I got this movie for two reasons: 1. It's being sold in Russia on the black market as "The Matrix 2." 2. It has Bruce Campbell in it. Unfortunately, Bruce isn't in the movie for long, as he is killed off early in the picture. The rest of the film is pretty bad, being your typical DTV picture, but there are some good qualities to it. Michael Dorn is good as Menno's best friend, and there is some good humor. But most of the movie is very silly with terrible acting and pretty subpar action. I guess if you like "Johnny Mnemonic," you'll like this one.

there are some good qualities to this movie, it fits the genre of a futuristic sci-fi where a powerful G-man is vying for the presidency in a fascist/democratic America. But it does fail in many areas, like action and budget. The language and acting is really good though, and Corbin Bernsen made a great bad guy. The real reason to watch this movie though is Stephanie Romanov, no bouncing action, but what a fox.

I finally feel as though there are people out there making films for the sake of making a films and not trying to recreate film making history. Everyone seems to think that for a movie to be entertaining and good, it has to be a big-budget blockbuster type film. Fortunately, the maker's of Menno's Mind decided to make a film for the sake of making a film. I first rented this film and have since purchased it. It's fun to watch and enjoyable to watch again. Bravo to it's writer, director and all it's cast. Thanks for the entertainment!

The first MIMIC was a strong horror film, but the series gets progressively cheaper & worse with every entry.

MIMI 3 open with an establishing shot of the New Jersey shore overlooking Manhattan. Seems the story takes place in a New Jersey city, but once we see the depressing building courtyard, I immediately thought, "Hey, New Jersey looks like Eastern Europe." And sure enough, the end credits reveal the film was shot in Bucharest, Romanina.

That's okay, except that it LOOKS like Eastern Europe, not New Jersey.

The story is very "small." Everything occurs in one apartment and the couryard it overlooks. (Yeah, we also see people in the other windows.) Only a few actors, and a couple of Judas Priest bugs. I suppose some find the film "claustrophobic" or "grungy" but I just found it small and cheap.

The whole film is an hour and 12 minutes long. That's a movie? (Claims to be 76 minutes, but four minutes are end credits).

The story is a REAR WINDOW ripoff, except that MIMIC 3 acknowledges it. The sickly character (who can't leave his room) says, "I saw the movie," implicitly refering to REAR WINDOW. Essentially, the sickly character sees Judas Priest bugs killing people in the courtyard, but at first no one believes him. In the end, the bugs come to his apartment, and there's some more violence.

No-name actors, aside from supporting roles for Lance Henricksen and Amanda Plummer, who probably each shot their scenes in a couple of days.

I don't see how anyone can understand this film unless they've first seen MIMIC, since the back story isn't much explained. Newcomers to the MIMIC series may wonder where all those giant bugs came from.

This is an okay film for hardcore horror fans and horror completists, but mainstream viewers who only occassionally watch horror will want to pass on this. There are many better horror films out there (such as LOST SOULS, the Winona Ryder film released in 2000).

This is the third entry in the Mimic series; this time a shut-in and his hoochie sister have a run-in with the giant cockroaches. The movie starts off slow, maybe too slow in my opinion, but Mimic 3 gets real good at the end. The whole picture has this grungy look, contrasting the main character's immediate surroundings and lifestyle.

When you rent a Dimension straight to video project, you never know what you're going to get. Sometimes you'll find a rare gem but most of the time it won't even be worth remembering. Remember all those PROPHECY sequels? That's what I thought. Anyway, I'm happy to say that MIMIC SENTINEL falls into the rare gem category. I had absolutely no idea what to expect with this one nor do I know why I even rented it after hating MIMIC 2 so much and the fact that I'm not even that big of a fan of the original. But I'm glad I did.

It goes something like this. Strickland disease (which was established in the first film) survivor Martin (Karl Geary) suffers from extreme environmental sensitivity making it hard for him to leave his room in the apartment he shares with his mother (Amanda Plummer) and his sister, Rosy (Alexis Dziena). So, he obsessively takes photographs of the world outside his window and, as you might have guessed, eventually learns that the Judas Bugs are back once again. While it's absolutely no mystery that the plot of this film borrows more than a little from Alfred Hitchkock's REAR WINDOW, the film really works. While I've always found the MIMIC bugs rather creepy, this film seemed to really capitalize on that and make a genuinely scary, suspense building movie out of them.

Rookie filmmaker and screenwriter (he also wrote and directed the as of yet unreleased indie SOFT FOR DIGGING) J.T. Petty has what it takes to tell a good story and make an entertaining film. Instead of trying to make a crappy film that requires more money than he had to work with, Petty made a good, small film that was within his means. By getting rid of a lot of the special effects (even though there are a few) and different locations, Petty lets the viewer become engrossed in the characters and lets them feel the paranoia that Marvin experiences. Instead of just watching the film, the viewer becomes a voyeur right along with Marvin. Later in the film, even after Marvin's voyeuristic journey is over, the director shoots the film with a blackened ring around the corners of the TV as if your now watching Marvin from an apartment across the street as Marvin did to others earlier in the film. For me, this worked to great effect. I felt like I was watching someone in danger and wasn't getting up to do anything about it. While I felt the whole Lance Henrisken aspect of the film was a bit unnecessary, for the most part the film really worked for me. So as for director J.T. Petty, I'm going to place him in my directors to watch book. I mean, if he can make a good sequel to a movie about giant bugs then I'm convinced he's capable of anything.

C+