Doesburg, Theo van Movie Reviews

Even if taken as some sort of social litmus test for wackos, 1-900 can only be described as disturbing and only mildly thought provoking. The male (Thomas) characer is immediately defined by what he is not:truthful, caring, confident, and well grounded. The female (Sarah) charcter takes much longer to fully "flesh-out". Whereas Thomas is dull, combative, and frought with insecurities Sarah seems assertive, focused, and well connected to the outside world. As the movie lumbers on we find out that although Thomas is incredibly flawed as a human being, Sarah also has serious issues. Their collective shortcomings might make them human, but in the end we find out that Thomas is a sadistic wreck of a man living in lies and Sarah is living a life that borders on compulsive sexual addiction that leaves her unfulfilled in every possible way. In the context of a character study of severely flawed human beings, the film works. Unfortunately it's being pawned off as a love story...this it is not. Save your money.

There are always people who are lonely and/or are seeking happiness for the moment. This story depicts this through the use of the brilliant invention by Bell, the telephone. As the story is set in motion there is a man, Thomas, who answers a phone sex ad and presents himself as someone who enjoys art, which results in him matching interests and age that another caller, Sarah, wishes for. In reality, Thomas is an equal with Sarah in his sense of art, but nothing else. Lies begin during their first session where they shyly introduce each other over the phone; however, as they talk their shyness disappears. They talk about many issues in their lives which leads the story into humor, tragedy, lies, and truths. However, Thomas has needs that remain unfulfilled when he is seeking contact with her because she remains distant and refuses to share her phone number with him. 1-900 is an intriguing film that provides some interesting dialogues that leads to stimulating perspectives in the development of a phone-relationship.

A surprising and eye-opening tale about lonely people in the Netherlands. Two strangers meet on a phone sex line in modern day Netherlands. Their lives are such that they go out and meet people and may even have significant others in their lives, but they still feel empty and lonely and feel a need to reach out for something more. Significantly they do not at first acknowledge their emptiness and loneliness. They simply call this phone sex line to feel some connection to someone, even if it is only nervous and surface chat about sex. The film is stunning because it employs very little scenery and only two characters. You never see anyone else and all of their interactions take place over the phone. After talking once (the woman calls the man because she does not want to divulge her phone number, her real name or the city in which she lives) they agree to have a regular time for talking. Their relationship develops over the phone and it becomes clear from their interactions that they care about each other, as strange as it seems, on a deeper level... as more than just phone sex partners or as a voice on the end of the line. This development is well handled and very convincing. Eventually when they reach a level of real human intimacy, the woman still will not tell the man her identity. When she phones him at the appointed time one day someone else answers (or what sounds like someone else). She is startled and the person who answers announces that he is the man's father and is going through his things because the man had died earlier in the week. The woman is visibly devastated by this sudden news, and she becomes quite unnerved and asks a lot of questions. The father says that he does not feel like discussing the details of his son's suicide but would call her back if she permitted him to. She provides all her contact information, and then he tells her that it was all a joke and that it is really him, not the father, and that he was still alive. You can see that she is so relieved and so glad that he is really alive, but at the same time she is furious that he took advantage of her and lied to her that way. She tells him they will never speak again, and the next week when their appointed phone date arrives, the film shows both of them silently sitting by the telephones but doing nothing. It was a rather heartbreaking work which really felt unsettling because it was so true to life and so... close to home. Even when you have people around who love you and are close to you, you can still feel so lonely and crave attention from some other person or medium, and this film illustrated that delicate frustration so well.

This could have been an interesting little movie had it not focused on a pretentious, unlikeable poser. I knew in the first 5 minutes (after Oscar has criticized a young woman's *hands* for lacking wit and experience (!)) that I was not going to like this guy....and moreover, I couldn't understand what made him such a chick magnet. I'm a 35 year old woman and didn't understand the appeal of such a transparently self-obsessed, self-important boy.

I also found his interactions with his father unreal - and I'm the daughter of an academic, so I know how academics are. But if I lived in NYC (or anywhere else, really) and my 15-year-old son disappeared into the night, never came home, and didn't call as to his whereabouts, you can bet I wouldn't be all nonchalant about it in the morning. Oscar's obvious disrespect towards his dad really bugged me - he fancied himself as the great sophisticate, but he was just a whiny spoiled brat underneath the French trappings. Just once I would've liked to see a character put him in his place, like during the excruciating dinner at the French restaurant, and no one raised an eyebrow at Diane's announcement that "Oscar and I are lovers." (Father's reaction: "Well, Oscar is an adult now...." Aren't we all incredibly enlightened and civilized!) Hello? Parent much?

Other (very small) gripe: Sigourney Weaver was 53 when this movie was made, not 40. I love her and think she looks great, but I couldn't help but be distracted by "Isn't Sigourney Weaver closer to 50?!"

The best thing in this movie was Bebe Neuwith...but she couldn't save Tadpole for me.

This was a very enjoyable movie, defly handled and singularly entertaining. There were two or three moments where I actually laughed out loud, the most memorable being the scene in the restaurant with Oscar, Diane, Eve, and Stanley. Hysterical. Bebe Neuwirth absolutely carried this film with her feline expressions and deliciously subtle wicked comments. I loved her. Aaron Stanford did a great job playing the oh-so-serious Oscar Grubman, a "40-year-old trapped in a 15-year-old body." He obviously gets to display more range here than he did as John Allerdyce/Pyro in X-Men 2, although he was very well-cast for that role also. He seems to be a fine young actor. Sigourney Weaver and John Ritter were also excellent choices as the educated and open-minded (if not distracted) stepmother and father of Oscar.

My chief complaints with the film (which bring the overall rating down from a 4 to a 3) are the DV filming techniques (not a good choice, although not terribly distracting) and the ridiculous length of the movie. Subtracting the running time of the opening and closing credits (about 9 minutes total), this movie doesn't even clock in at 70 minutes. I think it's 69 minutes, tops. One hour and nine lousy minutes. That's just tragic. The plot is sound enough to handle an additional 15 minutes of film time -- the screenwriter should have delved a little more deeply into the characters or story -- either that, or the chop-happy editors should be strung up and flayed. The special features of the DVD are virtually non-existent; not even a trailer is to be found. At least the audio (Dolby Digital 5.1) is good.

Those flaws notwithstanding, this is a fine movie and enjoyable way to spend barely over an hour of your life. If you ever want to watch a movie, but are in a hurry to get somewhere, this is the film for you. If you can pick this DVD up "on the cheap," I think it makes a good addition to a movie library. Full price, though, for a movie not even 70 minutes long? I think not.

Oscar is a young man with a problem. Mature beyond his fifteen years, he's enthralled with his stepmother Eve (subtlety played by Sigourney Weaver). He dreams of long philosophical talks and more with her, while rejecting the more appropriate options of the girls his own age. While his obsession goes unnoticed by his father (John Ritter) and Eve, his latent charms do attract the attention of Sigourney's best friend (the ever-so-sultry Bebe Newirth), who is more than happy to seduce and exploit the young innocent.

If you haven't spotted the conundrum behind all of this, let me spell it out more distinctly. How can a responsible adult (a classification that probably excludes me) enjoy a movie built on the premise of a forty year old seducing a fifteen year old? If the adult were a man and the teenager was female, there would have been a ton of protests about the exploitation and lack of consequences. It's a reverse Lolita. But despite that critical flaw, Tadpole is an extremely literate movie. The dialogue could have been written by Noel Coward, the cast is polished and the pacing is near-perfect.

In one hilarious scene, Oscar is about to exit Bebe's apartment after their overnight encounter. But he encounters her boyfriend who immediately assumes that Oscar is one of her chiropractic patients. Remarks like "doesn't she just turn you inside/out?" are delivered with therapeutic concern but received as being sexual inquisition, resulting in one very confused teenager, until he realizes that the friend is completely unaware of what had transpired over the last few hours.

I can't help but wonder if the subject matter caused one or two scenes to be left on the cutting room floor, as the movie is incredibly short by today's standards. But if that is the case, it was a justifiable decision as Tadpole overcomes some substantial moral concerns to deliver a charming story.

there are some funny ass killings in this and its stupid, my god its way crappy. Casper Van Dien has a frickin horrible southern accent and Robert Englund has always been crazy. but to call this a comedy, yes, but to call this suspense or intensely scary, no. and they made a sequel, horahh

THERE are no words to describe how corny and horrible this film is. its a complete waste of 2 hrs of ur life. u will want to turn it off after first 15 min , if u even last that long. what a disgrace of a movie this is- i cant beleive robert englund did this film. what a low budget piece of trash this is- WARNING- the python is very fake looking and not one bit scary. the whole story consists of the python escaping and killing random people. i know it sounds good but its the worst acting and corniest movie in history. wait till u see the snake. this makes lake placid ( which wasnt a good film) look like a masterpiece. STAY AWAY FROM THIS ONE.

If you've seen the movie ANACONDA, then you've seen PYTHON. The only difference is in locale and cast. The special effects in some scenes were decent, but they didn't mesh so well spliced next to the old-school special effects. The opening scene is promising, and the first twenty minutes of the film isn't all that bad either. However, after that the film quickly falls apart. The movie has a fairly large cast of actors who actually have names. However, the only reason they signed on for this piece of sewage was for the paycheck. Mindless entertainment with just a few glimmers of originality, but no taste.

Escape Under Prssure was one big bore. A group of eighth graders could have written something better.

The dialog is just plain stupid. I understand that the writer of this movie has gone back to working for a lawn maintenance company, and is given nothing more complicated than trimming shrubs.

Like a gruesome car wreck, this movie holds your attention.... An American couple on board a Greek ship, find themselves in the middle of a dramatically overplanned international scheme to steal a valuable Greek artifact. It wasn't so much the implausible plot, but the laughable similarities to some of the movies we know and love-and yes the Hasselhoffian manner in which John Spencer (Rob Lowe) manages to exert himself in his efforts to save the day. This Hollywood mutation was however, fairly entertaining. Highly recommended for a 3am veg-fest.